I have just been reading some of the discussions and to be honest it brought a tear to my eye. I am a 35 and didn’t realise how many people are really in the same boat as myself. I am 2 away from completing my chemo and it has really taken it out of me. I was fine the first 6 times (4 fec & 2 taxotere) now all I want to do it is sit in the armchair and watch the most boring tv shows sky has to offer. My 3 year old and 6 year old are so good and understand that mummy is not well at the moment.
Am I normal? I am only now starting to get emotional about first discovering the lump then the mastectomy now the chemo, it has been a long 5 months. I just want my hair and my lift back.
Bubble x
the end is here! had last chemo today and yes it feeld great to know that i do not have to back in 3 weeeks time and nott feel sick again. but today i feel a bit lost and emotional. i should bee feeling really happy and positive, i am but i keep thinking what if comes back. the unwanted visitor who left a dirty mess.
also wondering and feeling scarded anxious about the future. how will life be after its al finished?
Hi Jasmin
Congratulations on finishing your chemo, I am only at the beginning, so got a long way to go. Am sure that your feelings are natural and that we all probably go through that at the end. God knows, I go through it now, wondering it if will go away, whether spread more etc. After a day or too you will probably feel more happy and positive, but it is such a traumatic time for us all, and no-one fully understands what we are going through.
Hopefully tomorrow you will feel more positive. Have you got more treatment to come, or is that it for good. Hope so for your sake. Get your life back to normal.
Anyway, take care of yourself and let us know how you are. Got my 2nd chemo tomorrow, so hoping that all goes ok.
Love
Dawn
x
Hi bubble,
I know exactly where you are coming from. I too am 35 and am also 2 cycles away from completing my chemo. I am having E-CMF and I started on May. My 3rd CMF cycle starts next weds, I have a day 1 and day 8 then a 3 week break. All being well I will have my final day 8 CMF on Weds 10th Oct!!!
I’ve found the time has gone incredibly quickly to be honest. However I too am desperate to get my hair back and just feel ‘normal’ again. I have got rads after my chemo then a years worth of Herceptin and god knows how many years worth of hormones, so I know I’ve still got a long way to go treatment wise. The end of chemo will be a real milestone though and I am soooooo looking forward to it! Don’t know about you but I have found it as tough mentally as it has been physically. Thank god for Sky+!!!
Like you I had my mastectomy first. It all seems a bit surreal sometimes doesn’t it? I was watching a programme the other day about cancer and was feeling really sorry for the people on it and their families, then suddenly thought ‘god, thats me!’. Surprisingly I had totally forgot that I had bc!!!
I’m gonna get a bottle of pink champagne chilling in the fridge for when I finish chemo and I reckon you should too!!! What date are you due to have your last and will you be having rads afterwards?
Dawn - I hope your second chemo goes really well tomorrow,
Take care all,
Kelly
-x-
Kelly
Thanks for your entry, I was lucky if you can call it lucky, my consultant thought it would be a good idea to start my herceptin with the taxotere, so I had 1 lot of taxotere which made me feel ‘yak’ for a week then on taxotere number 2 I started herceptin which was 3 weeks ago, my next lot of chemo and herceptin is this Friday (last taxotere is Friday 21st September and counting…)
I know I shouldn’t moan as everyone keeps telling me it’s nearly over, but it isn’t. After the chemo I have to wait 6 weeks before radiotherapy starts and in the meantime every three weeks back to the hospital for herceptin for the next 10 months.
I also had 12 lymph nodes removed from my armpit, did you have any removed and if so are you back to full movement in your arm, mine arm still hurts and I haven’t regained full movement, my arm was swollen the other day and it was because my handbag was too heavy!
I can’t wait til the chemo finishes so that I can start exercising and join weight watches (again). I am fed up with how much weight I have put on it must be at least 2 stone.
Pink champagne sounds lovely I think that’s a great idea.
Here’s too Wed 10th Oct for you and Fri 21 Sept for me and feeling ‘normal’ again!
Bubble x
Jasmin
Thanks for your entry, I think it’s normal to wonder it the dreaded ‘c’ will come back I know I shouldn’t say it but a friend of mine went through the same thing 2 years ago and to this day she still wonders if she is completely free. Only time will tell.
I hope you have a great recovery and everything returns back to normal for you. It’s had to believe that there are so many of us going through the same thing.
Good luck and thanks again for your entry.
Bubble x
Princess
I have just read some other threads e.g muddy’s post. I didn’t realise you had 25 + nodes removed I got it wrong still no where near as many as you my actual amount removed was 17 not 12 still 17 too many.
When you start reading other threads I don’t know about you but it scares the life out of me when I read some of what has been posted. I think I much preferred it when I buried my head in the sand and just went a long with whatever drugs they threw at me!
Bubble x
WOW, you are so close to finish! I love the idea about the pink champagne, I will definitely do that… 
I’ll even buy it next time I go out, to keep on the shelf as a reminder!!!
Monday I have my second treatment, and the last one is on the 3rd of Dec (unless something happens). 8 in all…
I find amazing how the number of nodes is different in each woman. I had 8 in all, I am amazed at the 17 - let alone 25. I got back full movement almost immediately - it took a couple of weeks to lift my hand comfortably (I found the suggested exercises here on this site, but by the time I found them… I could do them all without problems). My op was 6 weeks ago, and last tuesday I joined a yoga class, noticing that I can - gently - stretch my arm like everybody else… I really felt as I accomplished something!
Hi Bubble & Lilith,
yeah I had a total axillary clearance when I had my mastectomy, at that time I had no idea we all have a different amount of lymph nodes in us! I had 28 removed and 25 were positive. Not to worry though, I’m getting the ‘full works’ treatment wise so musn’t complain!
Reading other threads defo scares the life out of me sometimes too bubble. I reckon ignorance is bliss at times to be honest!
I had full movement back in my arm from day 1 really, but then I was a bit of a goody two shoes and did my exercises religiously. Goodness knows how come as I’ve never been much of a one for exercise before all this! So far so good weight wise for me, in fact I saw my family at the weekend whom I haven’t seen for a couple of weeks and they reckoned I’d LOST loads of weight! Don’t think thats quite the case but so far I haven’t really put any on. I’ve jinxed it now haven’t I, I’ll put on a stone in a week now!
Good on 'ya for joining a yoga class lilith. I play golf as and when I’m well enough between treatments and I love it!
Be sure to get that pink champagne chilling ladies,
Take care and keep in touch,
Kelly
-x-