perhaps I expressed my self badly.This site has given be such a lot of support every since the day I found a lump. Had that lump been just a cyst I am sure I would have breathed a sigh of releif and moved on.
but during the 4 weeks of waitng for the clinic apointment, having scans and biopsies and waiting for results I would have been just as scared and lost and would have grasped at any straw.
So I would say this site is usefull for the 80% of people who have lumps but dont have breast cancer during those weeks leading up to diagnosis.
What is wrong with showing a gallery of people, who volunteer their stories, for the sole purpose of showing that after treatment life does go on?
Why would anyone want to begrudge that feeling of hope?
The treatment is gruelling (I’m writing this from hospital having had my mx and ld recon) it hurts, it strips away your dignity, it strips away your womanliness (new word?). But I’ve done it and am doing it and will continue to do it. The reason? So I Can Move On.
I’m not going through all of this just so I can stay in a state of confusion and fear, I’m doing it to alleviate my fears.
I’m not stupid in thinking that this is a cure and it won’t come back - cos it might. I’m not stupid in thinking it won’t be the thing that finishes me off - it might. But then again it Might Not! or if does it could be years away.
So i say thank you bcc. Thanks for the facts, the support, the ability to chat to others and now the gallery, which gives me the reassurance that all of this we go though is really worthwhile.
Staycalm, nothing is wrong with showing positive messages to give hope, and I do not have an objection to that - but why should that exclude stage 4 people or people with recurrences? Are BCC saying that we cannot offer others hope, or gain something from reading about other stage 4 peeps moving on (or at least adapting to what JulieD rightly calls a new normal). Remember, many peeps are diagnosed stage 4 at their first diagnosis, and they require and deserve reassurance too.
My issue is that there is not a category within the gallery for stage 4, or those who have had recurrences, and it therefore denies us that voice, and distorts the picture.
Beautifully put Staycalm, denying someone hope is so wrong. Also everyday new treatments are come forward, and I HOPE I will be around to use them. Without hope there is only dispare and that’s a lonely place.
Ok - so let’s have stage 4 in the gallery too. Without sounding glib (apologies if I do, it won’t be meant but am still drugged in Hosp) there are probably things you have done since your dx that you would possibly have thought impossible, maybe you would have liked to read about this.
Thinking of you, and agreeing with you… I have not been dx with mets (recent scans showed NED in bones or vital organs) I have been living with breast cancer since I was 34, now whilst I am not so stupid or insensitive enough to know that there is a difference between secondaries and worry that it will come back…and mine did!!! I worry daily that I will get secondries and it will rob me of seeing my kids grow up …remembering that this miserable disease robbed me of my early childbearing years and I had my 2 later in life…yet I still had them despite the odds, I think this BCC forum should cater for the needs of everyone affected by BC there is a place for us all we can all learn and hope from the stories of others, I was truly insired by Val and Dawn ( long term secondary ladies) they have reaaured and been kind to me along the way as of those who had lumps and bumps earlier this year and for them it seems their journey is over…( if you discout the worry and emotional scars left behind) others like Lulu after 2 dx still find the time to come on and answer our questions and allay our fears, but unless a CURE ALL is found it will never be over for any of us, because we will always worry and wonder, I am truly grateful that I still have hope, and yet I am sure some have been on this site with aparent earlier detected and treatable disease than some with mets and yet they are now no longer with us ( one of my best firends)
It is a personal and individual journey where kindness, love understanding and support are essential and if we can’t get that from each other then the hope , for some, may diminish, for many we are all we have …the people who understand… we are all valuable and desrving of our voice and whilst we all have our our opinions we need to build up and not tear down.
I dip into your lives all you living with secondries, I am encouraged by you and yes there are some days I don’t want to know, total fear prevents me, because I don’t want to be where you are, I admit that, and at the same time If I ever am then, I have hope from all of You x
Jeanette
edited for my usual bad spelling!!! I’ll blame being full of TAX today!
The BCC Moving Forward team have responded on the original “New! Moving Forward gallery” thread. I am closing this thread so you can continue to post your feedback on the main thread.