Hello everyone 
I know , i will enter highly delicate waters here now but i hope, that it may can help a little, to create some thoughts on both sides- the person with cancer and family and friends on the other side
Incredibly grateful for this fantastic forum since march this year, i have read many notes regarding that people feeling misunderstood and frustrated by how family and friends are reacting, or how they try to help… or vice versa, how a loved one , or close friend with cancer is reacting to their way of wanting to help
Im wtiting this as a 53 year old mother of a 28 year old daughter who has been diagnosed with TNBC and BRCA1 in march this year ( i myself waiting for my BRCA1 blood results… my husband and son (26) are also in the process of being tested)
To make things even more complicated is that my husband and i left the uk 5 years ago and our daughter has also OCD so she is not comfortable with us coming over to the UK - which is fully understandable
HONESTY.
Being honest and direct are trades which - if handled wisely and with care- very powerful tools and they can help enormously to resolve or make situations better…
But honesty and being direct is also something many people are afraid of and scared to apply
A lot of time it is frowned upon as rude, agressive or even seen as an attack
Personally im a very direct person… i approach situations head on and deal with them as they are…
But not everyone is like that, or on the receiving end appreciating this form of approach. This is where emotions and senses come in , to handle each situation individual and with love and care…
What im trying to say is actually very simple…
If people could trust in each other, feel safe enough to voice what they really think, feel and need would make it so much easier to give the right support… and be correctly understood
But as long as people are not trying or being honest and letting each other know…then how can the other person know… how can the other person know, what to change to make things better , im sure that most people do care and do love the people involved, so i believe they want to do the right thing for the people they do care about and love
May if people could be a bit more brave and talk, it could help enormously to make it better on the people on both sides
Much easier said than done…
but maybe using the form of writing to explain , when it is too difficult to address the person directly and face to face is another option to be heard and u derstood ?!
I am a huge/ truly believer that a honest dialogue can change so many things for the better
Much love, calm and strength to all you incredible ladies on here and anyone who ever had or will be effected by this damn monster
And thank you so much, for your never faiding incredible support 
