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21

Hi Tina and Kiki.

Yippee Kiki - lots of woowoowoowoo woo’s from me. F. A. B.   x

Got my results yesterday. I’ve been so busy with organising next Sats party, plus I had a funeral today, so didn’t get round to reading them until last night.

There are cysts and problems with my liver - maybe due to too much booze when I was in Blackhole land. Dunno, as I 'll have to have further tests now. But, due to the fact that I kept feeling sick 15 mins into eating and for an hour afterwards, I suspected liver and or Gall bladder.

Ultrasound scan at the doctors surgery later this morn., so I’m obviously taking in the private test results too. I’m hoping the ultrasound is just a jumping off point for then other tests

 

Love you gals

Delly xxx 

22

How are you doing Delly, been a while since we’ve heard from you! Hope you’re doing ok.

 

Amanda x

23

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY !!

I’m completely bowled over by you ALL. You’re so ABFAB GORGEOUSLY loving and caring.

Such virtual LOVE is being felt by little, skinny and somewhat devastated Delly - but I’ll explain later. Lokk at the time - I feel better mentally than I’ve EVER felt in the WHOLE of my LIFE!!! Honest. But haven’t been to bed in 5 nights. Ha, keep waking up sat upright on the sofa, musicand lights on, laptop still on lap - M A D  !!!

Been mad busy with those party arrangements etc. so am sorrrry girls to have neglected you. Will take me AGES to catch up but will do.

Despite a massive disappointment, I’ve got to have further detailed scans, tests done as the ultrasound at the gp NHS surgery showed the same as the CT scan. BUT, I’ve got other bits and piece ops and consultations to be done :- Knee tidy up arthroscopy - no prob

                 Hands problems looked next week

                 Gastroenterologists next week for liver, stomach and small intestines to further check these liver finds. Hopefully not you know what !!

                  Plus, I think my GP forgot to write to my elected brilliant (and beautiful) lady boob surgeon back at North Manchester, Am not going back to where I had expanders op. Suffered damage and severe bruising from a trainee. Have the utmost faith in this woman - she has a brilliant reputation in the North and ammore than happy to place my bod in her hands to carry rest of the recon ops.So I nned to chase that up.

                  Have early cataract, but am not bothered about that. Pretty easy peasy 15 min procedure these days.

 

Anyway, I’m really more interested in you. Am back to give you all a shedloadful of  LOVE and HUGS.

That okay ??

DoolallyDelly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

24

Great to hear from you Delly, was getting worried for a while!

 

You certainly have a lot going on at the moment, you are one tough cookie just keeping on and at it!

 

I’ve done two FEC chemo so far, not been too plagued by side effects…so far!

 

Looking forward to hearing more over on the forum.breastcancercare.org.uk/t5/Diagnosed-with-breast-cancer/Just-diagnosed-and-wanting-to-talk-to-people-who-understand/m-p/992198#U992198

 

Amanda x

25

Hi Kiki2

Doctor has given me some diazepam 7 tablets to try and ease the anxiety and help me sleep. How did they see that the DCIS was widespread. The difficult thing is nothing is showing on my mammogram or scan. Got op next Friday and then results 1-2 weeks later. I m just scared that they will not take enough and have to go through it all again or that they will find some invasive. Did they tell you what grade your DCIS was xx

26

Just realised you told me below how they found it in post below. Did they do biopsy of sentinel
Node the same time as the removal of DCIS or did you have to go back in to have it done when they found a bit of invasive x

27

Hi Kiki2

I m hoping they can do mri as did say because of size of breasts then may not be able to. I know they trying to do to see area of DCIS but in my head I keep thinking they doing cos something sinister. I m raving bonkers. I have good family and friends but it’s hard for them to understand as they don t know what we te going through. I live in South Wales. What about u xx

28

Yes I am still awake. Thought the diazepam would get me at least a bit if sleep but looks as if body fighting it. I m so tired I can t function xx

29

Well, whilst i’m waiting on Julia, I went for my first appointment to see Gastro-Enterologist this morning. Remember I’m a double mastectomy of 8 and 9 yrs with both full axillary node removal so have to always remember to forewarn nurses etc. about risk of lymphoedema when having bloods and blood pressure taken.

First obstacle was nursey when taking BP. It SHOULD actually be taken from the ankle with someone such as myself, and bloods taken from the dorsal vein of my foot. However, being of a medical background myself, I’ll often do my duty of warning them and be prepared to have it done the normal way if they take EXTRA special care. The nurse this morning was thrown into a flummoxed state, which didn’t instill asny confidence in moi, and that was just BP !!

Then went in to see the consultant. I took my private scan and test results in with me for him to view. Went through the usual taking of medical history, obviously involving BC, one of the possible reasons I was THERE.He started going on about, “So your breast surgery CURED the problem with cancer and you’ve been clear ever since”?  This question and attitude immediately GOT MY BACK UP, I’m afraid. “I, YOU or anyone else are unable to answer THAT question, because, as you know, there yet ISN’T a CURE for cancer” say I !! “No one is to know if the cancer hadn’t already spread through my blood, undetected, lodged in other organs and remained dormant until . . . . .”. I couldn’t believe I was having this debate which then turned rather heated and him saying would you like to be referred to another consultant. “Too Right I would” and I ended up walking out in disgust !!! Took myself to the peaceful quiet haven of the MacMillan Centre, to calm down and sort through my private results folder. Only to find that they provide a FREE consultation with an appropriate consultant for whatever -ve findings/results have shown up. Sooooo, I’ll go that route at the local Macc Spire hospital and take it from there, with the hope that I can then carry on further with whoever within the NHS system.

 

Also had another upset to follow it today, but I’m not gonna go into that.Suffice to say, I felt thoroughly *ffed off. What IS wrong with people.

Anyhow, enough of all that. I’m back at Macc hospital tomoorow afternoon to see hand consultant.

 

Need some time o catch up on other threads. Thank You soooooo much for your messages and enquiries.

DefinitelyDoolallyDelly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

30

feisty Darlin

Got you at t’other end of the day. Did you manage to nod off? How you doing ??

Yet another sofa night for me. Sad really, as went to trouble of changing my bed after not for a shamefully long time, due to being in black hole land. Put it alkl through washer TWICE. I love that fresh sheet feel. Think tonights the night - soak in the bath and fresh yummy sheets.

Having crab salad for tea. Picked up for £2.50 (from £5 !!) on reduced. Mmmmmmm, real treat. And of course, you know who shall be having a few titbits as well. Chloe’s looking at me in anticipation - am sure she can read my mind !!! Canny cats are when it comes to food and vets visits.

 

Loadsa love and hugs to you all

DefinitelyDuvetDelly tonight

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

31

Tina darlin’

If your not successful with your sleepybyes (!) give here another try, I may just be around. Unlike some of you  I’m NOT sleepless due to worrying/stressing. I’m too loved up to “bother” with sleep - may sound weird, but actually it’s what I was put on this planet for. To give out LOVE and CARING. Got it coming out of my ears!! One of my BIG philosophies is that we need to TAKE BETTER CARE OF EACH OTHER - NURTURE - look after. NOT be nasty…

 

Hugs are the biggest help to any brown stuff that life throws at us. They are a Golden Gift, Diamond even, from anyone. Even a touch on the arm, holding someones hand. TOUCH has an immeasurable healing quality so lets NOT be stingey with it. Hey ? You all listening ??!! Lets be OVERLY generous with it instead.There’s NO reason why not. AND its that much more effective when there’s genuine passion and heart behind it. I don’t know how much longer I have left on this planet, but I’m on a MISSION to make a difference with WHAT time I DO have left

 

I was once told I was “TOO GUSHING” !!!   “Yeh, I may be to you”, I said, “but then, I find you very cold and LACKING in warmth, so who or what is preferable?? Know which I’d prefer ANY DAY. Why be so anal with emotion. Tell me what the point is”

 

For flips sake people. . . . . . .IT’S FREE!!! Give it out, and . . . . . . .you also get it back. That to me is the added REWARD. The FREE GIFT from giving something without ANY intention of reward behind it.

 

I have some very special words from a song called “LOVE” by Seal, that I shall post up here for Future reference. He so eloquently puts into words EVERYTHING THAT I  FEEL towards ANY other human being who is suffering ANYTHING, be that a physical or mental illness or any form of angst, relationship breakdowns for instance. He sums up where I’m at and all about, especially the last 7 months, since YOU all rescued me from the literally suicidal  black hole - WRECK that I WAS. 

I’ve had the most despicable things done/said to me, blaming me for my brothers suicisde etc. I can be forgiving about all that. However4, It’s a completely different matter allowing that detrimental person back into my life. At the moment NO NO.  Poisonous.  .But I’ll pray to something/one for her peace of mind and conscience to be resolved eventually.

 

But YOU all gave me back my life. Are you listening ?? This is SERIOUS “GUSHING” PRAISE. How do/can I thank you for MY LIFE ?? By letting/allowing me to look after you BACK as best I can. THAT is what I want.

“Open your arms and be loved by me” (from Seal 7, track “Love” ) HEAR IT, it’ll change you too.

 

Are you with me Girls ???

 

Back to basics, have just had my date next week for a tidy up knee arthroscopy. Half a days job, had it before - easy-peasy. 

I walked out of my Gastro-Enteroliogy appt on Monday. He was going on about my double mastectomy sugery having “CURED” me!!?? A Medical consultant, saying such a thing made me see red and a debate followed of me saying “A cure hasn’t yet been developed. Rogue cells could have spread in my blood before my boobs were removed, and may have settled in others areas and organs of my body. How do you explain my Mothers best friend, Joycie having been “CURED” for 9 yrs, then developed Secondariy breast cancer in her brain, liver, spine and long bones of arms and legs. Was diagnosed TERMINAL and then lasted 2 1/2 yrs until SHE DIED. I’m not being a FATALIST, I’m being a REALIST, who seems to know more about this godawful disease than YOU do”. Walked out in disgust saying I need to find a consultant who is oncological, NOT general.

 

Now have appointment next Thursday for knee arthroscopy tidy up. Only takes up an afternoon and am seeing a good friend for dinner at hers that same evening. I’ll just be glad to have it sorted. So trousers off for me as opposed to Francines in “Just Diag and needing to speak. . .” used to find she was automatically taking her “Top off” in places that she didn’t need to !!! Cept my orthopaedic surgeon is the only MAN I’m prepared to take my trousers off for, me being of another persuasion so to speak in the sexuality sense !!!

 

On that note, I’m goin - Nighty-Nite

Loadsa love, hugs and kisses

DoolallyDellywelly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

32

Feisty, my lovely

Am intrigued what your sending me. And yes, I need to get back into the ONCO dept of hospital, NOT the GP’s referrals.

So where are or have you been by the time you read this “jollies” wise ??

Afraid I’ve been doing some MAJOR kick ass stuff recently. BUT, I’ve also done some making up from a painful fall out with a much loved, treasured  friend. Unfortunately, it was due to her sh*t boyfriend and her loyalties understandably lay with him. Wished I zipped my mouth then, but it doesn’t matter now.

 

Cancer, or ANY life threastening illness has a habit of clarifying important and UNimportant. My Mum lived her last 2 years in the knowledge she had a time bomb of an Aortic Aneurysm that couldn’t be operated on because THAT would prove fatal. She got rid of a lot of ROT in her final few years, my nasty cousin being some of the ROT. She died UNFORGIVING and it still annoys my cousin, but she STILL doesn’t understand why Mum cut her out of her life.  

Mum and I put “our” personal difficulties “to bed”. Loved her, treasured that woman with an absolute bloody passion  - bless her. Had the BEST Mum and Dad in the world.

 

Am in a highly heightened emotional state of upset, but at the same time Euphoric with wanting to “give out” nothing but love, giggles, passion and kindness, All very WEIRD. Have even started praying - not to god though - to the Universe !!

 

Love you ALL xxxxxxxxxxxx

33

Hey Feisty,

My apologies for having been out of the loop for a few months.

Glad to hear you are NOW liviing up to your name!!!

How the devil are you??

And how is everyone else!! Where are you all?? SLEEPING??

Been having a bit of a S**T time of it lately. Go read “Just diagnosed and…” thread in the RECENTLY DIAGNOSED section, if you’re interested.

 

Keep well girlies.

Loadsa love from meeeeee xxxxx

 

34

Bumping this up for Suzie - have a look Suzie xxx

35

Thank you x

36

Hi delly,

 

hope you do not mind - am publishing a link to the thread in Recently Diagnosed, etc - so newcommers can find it more easily.

 

Fabulous thread - wish I had known about it when I was first told I had BC. One is so desperate to reach out - and no one is there - but YOU guys are.

 

So hope you do ot mind me joining you, too.

 

Hugs

Sue xx

37

Hi Sue HS, Suzie, Bondgirl and anyone else looking in.

What yer like Sue, with your helpful “links” - wonderful. Thanks Bondgirl also. I must apologise to you all, I’m not as hot on keeping up with my emails and posts as I was, looking back at my previous post dates here. Plus, Unfortunately, I’ve gone back into a major mental slump in the last month, so I’m struggling with communicating to/with anyone again. I seriously think my brother had and I have Bi-Polar disorder - manic ups and downs. Madly gushingly “Up” or despairingly “Down”.

 

Had some horrid news too today, of a friend who’s just died. A long fight over the years with BC and 2ndaries but finally severe 2ndaries in liver. Poor thing was soooo fed up, refused any more chemo. Was given 6 mnths and it’s been 2… Died peacefully at home, rather than inpersonally in hosp. My thoughts and heart are with her hubby Phil and her sister Sarah. Rest in Peace Mandy - brave lady. 

 

Got my cat, Chloe, on my lap as I’m trying to type. Nose butting and licking (kissing) my fingers + pressing “wrong” keys - Such a loving annoyance, I can’t bring myself to chuck her off :slight_smile: She’s become very clingy the last few months.

 

Soooo, how are things going with you all then. Suzie, I’ll check in on “Just diag and needing to talk” as Sue directed you here for some reason. The fact that I started this thread, doesn;t mean that I “control” it. Just as with any others - it’s communal for you and anyone else to carry on and use in the way it was created for - late night rantings (most have been mine!!) ramblings/amusement . . . . xxx

 

Lovely to have it dipped into again. Thanks and hope you keep it up. As much as I don’t particularly like having to use computers much, and they can be such a thief of time sometimes, I don’t know what I’d have done otherwise on many a sleepless night. :smileywink:

 

Take care and hopefully see you again soon

DoolallyDelly xxxx 

38

Hi Nic

Sorry, I was up and awake early too, but didn’t check into my e-mail till now. Awww, it’s tough for you Mums when they start spreading their wings further and fleeing the nest, yeh?? What a great opportunity for him tho’.

Hope your scan comes back clear and nothing to worry about. Please let us know how you go on will you x

Thanks for the sympathy - am totally frozen by it at the mo’ x

Love to everyone

Delly xxx 

39

Hi Nic and Sue

Glad your scan was finally an okay one Sue.

Nic - sorry to hear you require further tests, but that’s good advice from our Sue. I’ve everything crossed for you and that it doesn’t interfere with your hol. Where are you off to??

Loadsa love

Delly xxx

40

Nic - Oooooooo, congratulations. Pardon my geographcal ignorance - is Costa Rica Mexico? Brazil?? or somewhere S. America?? Is “Ariba, Ariba” in order?? Hope your awaiting scan doesn’t put a dampener on it, that you can somehow manage to put it to the back of your mind.

xxx