The remaining breast in the bedroom department!

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Well, the title says it all really. I was a breast person in the bedroom department and i know my OH still is,. However, my reconstructed ‘breast’ is a no go area these days (scarred and numb) and i don’t much like the other one being touched that much either (also scarrred) to try and match the recon. Does anyone else not like their remaining breast to be touched any longer or is it just me? I know my OH misses my pre BC body lots, but what is done is done now. I guess i just see the chest area as a trauma site now, rather than any thing else.

 

 

 

 

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Hi Naz

While you are waiting for replies from your fellow forum users, I have put for you below the link to BCC’s publication your body, intimacy and sex, which I hope you find helpful.

www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/treatment-side-effects/your-body-intimacy-sex-bcc110

Also here’s the link to the area of this website where this is discussed further:

breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-information/impact-breast-cancer/relationships-family/sex-intimacy

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

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Well, you are not alone, not only do I not like my breasts being touched I don’t like them being seen. I miss my old breasts very much and it is difficult to accept the new ones when naked so I suppose it’s a common problem we just don’t talk about.

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I cried every time i had s post op. In the end i realised i was mourning what had been and remembering the last time i was normal! So had to start exploring other locations to change my mood!
also, nurse told me, you a boob lady but there is a huge percentage of the body left to explore and find are sensitive. Try not to focus on lost and numb part as comparatively small area.
took me sometime to believe her.
but other week, let OH rub oil into recon and scar, one year on, felt ok…
h

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 I have had my right breast reconstructed, now numb and hard. I do nt like it. I miss my old breast and i have no libido ( i had my operation10 weeks ago). My OH says it doesnt bother him but it bothers me!!I I miss my happy sex life, it was my link with my youth had lowish self esteam before, this has not improved things… Ps what is the breast care nurse meant to do? mine just hands out leaflets

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This is the part of everything I dreaded most , letting my husband see my scar , he still hasn’t 5 weeks later, he said whenever I’m ready, I don’t think I will be ever ready to be honest. I miss the way I looked, I decided to have immediate reconstruction with an implant and that failed after two weeks. And now I have an expander, where another implant will go in after chemo. I didn’t like the hardness of the implant and don’t know if I want that in again. Is the diep flap better, I suppose it must be if it’s using your own fat. I think I will have to rethink the implant. I am crying now typing this as I’m thinking what I used to feel like and what is lost, but the cancer is gone so that is what I keep having to tell myself

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I had implant and more used to it now one year on. Friend had back.op, but had to have implant too as not enough muscle.
think we all have to come to terms with - it is not the same. Realised i had moved when i got partner to.oil new and old. Felt different, but then he wouldn’t have oiled them before the op so felt sort of new and accepting. I was reminded by MacMillan nurse that he has 96%of body left to explore… So try not to focus on it and that helped! It made me think of the remaining 96%… Which still feels normal and not numb
Also having s… In other places did too, as it distracts!!!

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Hi Naz.
This is a bit of a late reply but I hope I can help. I had mx & reconstruction at the same time, lat dorsi flap & implant, 13 years ago. Then replacement of implant 3 years later. Needs another replacement now & some fat transfer as no cleavage at all. Had no relationship to speak of in all that time (I’m 57 now) but last year met someone special. He made such a non deal of the whole thing that I had no concerns about him seeing my body as it is now, & he loves it all. Having said that, I still hate having that breast touched as it just feels so weird & uncomfortable. But I bear with it as I know it makes him happy ?

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Hi, this is exactly my worry. I hope you’ve managed to find a solution…if so, could you please let me know if? X

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Hi Naz

Good to hear from you and glad your well and feeling more settled with the “booby” boob!!

Yeh, like you, I was very much a breast woman in the bedroom dept.They instigated a lot of the action so to speak wink wink. 

 

It’s been really interesting for me to hear your point of view from a single recon. in that I don’t have that constant comparison to a natural one. I’m presuming you had a silicon implant.

Yeh, my long delayed recon was to help repair my confidence when naked. I only ever wanted silicon implants right from the start 9 yrs ago. Never wanted self tissue recon although it was constantly being pushed, didn’t want all the extra scarring and healing risks but they must feel warmer and more natural.

It was never pointed out to me, nor did it ever cross my mind beforehand and I don’t know why not, that the skin would be so incredibly thin and delicate.  I still haven’t resumed with the recon procedure yet, got through all the expansions to the point of a date for silicon replacement op, only for it to be cancelled by the surgeon a week before which was a bit of a surprise because he’d only booked it two weeks before at my last appt with him.  However,  I then lost the momentum which I admit I was struggling to maintain as it was. It’s a shame, because I’d been pretty excited to begin with, the 6 months previously, but had sunk into a deep depression due to a number of other factors and I’m still in it unfortunately.

 

I was never under any false hopes with regards to sensation but my skin’s actually more sensitive to touch than I thought it would be.

When or if I get back on the recon horse again, it was always my intention to go the whole hog with nipple recon also, along with tattooing.  I’m intrigued to know how nipple recon is done without piercing the silicon implant underneath.

 

I’m really sorry that you’re not that happy with your results. Have you ever thought about seeing another surgeon - plastic or onchoplastic - to discuss whether anything could be done to improve them in anyway?? Perhaps you’ve resolved yourself and/or don’t want any further surgery.

Anyway Naz, thanks for your kind words. Hope you and your family keep well.

Ps. I can’t remember what other posts of yours I’ve replied to or where they are !!

 

Regards to everyone else here also 

Delly xx