Hi all, been to recieve my results today and I have been diagnosed with Invasive ductal breast cancer, grade 3 (dont know stage yet) lymph nodes are also affected. Start Chemo in two weeks, looking at surgery in January either lumpectomy if they manage to shrink the tumour enough, otherwise masectomy with breast recon. Nodes will be taken out if chemo not cleared them. Followed by radiotherapy and then tabs if receptive to them. Dont know what else to say really, just want to get started. Not looking forward to telling my 10 yr old tomorrow but he needs to know. Any advice welcome.
Also just wanted to say its a relief to get the news, the waiting was the worst, I can just get on with it now I know what im facing, I knew it wasnt going to be good news so was semi prepared for bad news - that sounds so bad doesnt it…
Hi Whiterose
Sorry you find yourself here but this is the best place to be for support and encouragement. Chemo is a scary prospect as its the fear of the unknown. When I ventured on this journey I took inspiration from the ladies on here who had been there, done that and got the T Shirt!! I knew it was doable and it is. I am 2 cycles in following an mx and ANC and its not as bad as you think. The s/e’s are niggly and annoying and the hair loss distressing at the time but like everything it’s not forever and you get used to it.
Good luck with your treatment. Look out for the August chemo group, or start one yourself, then you can have support from ladies going through chemo at the same time as you.
Take care
Emma xx
Hi Whiterose, just a quick thought. You mentioned being concerned about telling your son, BCC have a great publication called ‘Talking with your Children about Breast Cancer’. If you click on Publications at the top of the page you should find it on page 2 of the list. Best wishes Pat x
Hi whiterose a lady called Jacqui has started an August chemo group. Get youself on it if you can it will help you through the chemo
Hi, the waiting is stressful, once you know whats coming you can prepare and try to get your head round it all, mind you i found out in may and dont think its sunk in properly yet!!! good luck also with telling your son, love julie xxxx
Sorry to hear it wasn’t good news whiterose (((hugs)))
My children are grown up but they knew beforehand that I’d found a lump (one of my daughters came with me when I got the results) so they already knew it was a possibility.Sorry I don’t have any advice for telling your son other than what Trisha has said about the leaflet.
I found it really difficult to tell my 81 year old Dad. I hadn’t said anything to him before because I didn’t want to worry him if it turned out to be nothing. When I told him he cried…that was really hard.
xx
Hi I was diagnosed with er+ her- p- stage3/grade3 lymph node involvement in April 2012. My son had turned 10 in the January. I had a mastectomy 8 fect chemo (portacath fitted) rads tamoxifen and five weeks ago the remaining breast removed. I wore the cold cap because it was the only time my son became distressed (the thought of me loosing my hair). So kept my hair. Last year he had no holiday, no fun mum! Yesterday I asked him what he remembered about it all - the diagnosis, the treatment, the operations. He said he can’t really remember any of it very much! I am so pleased you will all understand. when I was diagnosed I was terrified! My sons dad wanted us to tell him together but I decided that would be too scary. So I just told him in a normal conversation. I told him there are 200 different types of cancer and some kill people but that ( fingers crossed) if I listend to the doctors and had lots of treatment they would try and make me better. That worked and every time I had any treatment I explained it to him so he understood. I also requested no cards, chocs, flowers but that if friends wanted to help a contribution to a Lego fund would help. So whenever I had major treatment or chemo he had Lego bought by the Lego fund - he was gutted when my chemo ended! How pleased was I . I also kleptomania his life pretty much normal and didn’t allow an influx of sad friends in to my home. I needed to keep them away for me too. Good luck, grit your teeth and tell your boy the truth (mostly). Ethel x
sorry not been on line till now - busy couple of days telling family n friends. my 10 year took the news quite well, as we were upbeat about it all and stressed that i had to get poorly with the meds etc before i could get better - he wants me to have a pink wig if i lose my hair! Ive been strong, no meltdown as yet, it is what it us is I need to get on with it, handling family n friends is the worse tho, theyve been fallin apart and ive been saying not to cry, i dont want to deal with their tears and dont want my boy to see people upset, am probably being too hard on them but its just how i feel. Im trying to keep things as normal as possible - got my oncolgy appt nxt tuesday so hopefully be then given a start date for chemo. Did anyone here get on ok with the cold cap?
A pink wig sounds good to me lol I had the cold cap in the midst of winter !! it was like having an ice cream on my head, but it worked. I had cut of all my long hair in preparation and lost every hair on my body apart from my head which was good. I had a wig fitting (they did not do pink !!) I got a pink one from Argos lol but I never wore them. The cold cap you have to wear for an hour b4 chemo and hour after so it makes the treatment longer but it was deffo worth it. I had mine the end of 2010, had mastectomy early 2010 then radiotherapy 2011 and remain on tamoxifen but back to full time employment. I have lymphoedema cause I had 10 lymph nodes removed 5 of which were cancerous but I am managing it with a compression sleeve. unfortuately when being tested for prep for chemo they found lung cancer so I had another op in 2010, I was lucky they say as they may not have found the lung otherwise. I dont do things by halves lol. I then had reconstruction in 2011. You do seem to be managing it and do try and take advantage of all the offers of support…I did the moving on programme with breast cancer care, aromatherapy and reflexology, looking good feeling good and sharing all this with your son will be great preparation for lifes journey. Good luck with it all 
Thanks Bulldogbyrne
My Doctor has just phoned me from the surgery 5 mins ago as obviously they have just received the info from the breast clinic and bless her she was so lovely, seeing if I was ok etc, so im booked in on Tuesday to see her and sort out my exempt card for prescriptions.
I suppose everyone is different how they deal with this kind of news, but everyone cant believe how brave im being, im just being matter of fact and want to get on, yes I know ive got hard times ahead of me, but I dont want to feel sorry for myself just yet. Husband wants the bone xray and full body scan done as soon as poss, as his concern is if its spread. But one step at a time I will get there.
My best friend came to see me yesterday, to find me steam cleaning my floors and couldnt believe how I was just getting on with things, im not ill yet, so while I can do things I will, im sure there will be plenty of occassions to have friends and family running around after me when the chemo kicks in.
Thanks for the support xxx
Hi whiterose
You might remember I also got my results on Wednesday. Like you I have IDC and they think Stage 1, grade 2. I am having my lumpectomy on 30th August together with sentinel node biopsy. I have been told my cancer is Oestrogen negative so I won’t be getting hormone therapy, which I am glad about. I will be having radiotherapy and possibly chemo as well, presumably from the end of September. It looks like I won’t be going back to school in September but at least now I know.
I hope you are bearing up. I am trying to but it is not easy. I think it will be better once I have a definite treatment plan and confirmation of the stage and grade and whether there is any lymph node involvement or spread.
Take care,
Anne
Thank you Anne for your post, I wish you well with your op at the end of August. Im bearing up well at the moment, staying strong and positive, no meltdown as yet but am sure there is still time. I have my oncology appt this tuesday afternoon, so will know when I start my chemo. What a journey it is for everyone, but I love the support from this forum. Take care xxx
Dear whiterose
I so feel for you. Got my diagnosis 10 days ago and am in the world of 2 t’s… Tears and terror. See the consultant on Thursday so will know what I’m facing then. Hubby has been amazing. Told nobody but my boss and dread telling family and friends. Also work GeForce tiny company so if I have months off the cost could drive the company to failure. Trying to keep it together but not always managing. Never ill and never been in nhs hospital so no idea what to expect. For once think i’m lucky not to have children. My thoughts are with everyone going through this xxx
Hi
Have idea what stage etc I have but diagnosis 10 days ago has been followed by tears and terror. Never been in hospital and dreading telling friends and family. Hubby has been amazing dreamer riffed about the future. Also work for tiny company that can’t afford to pay extended sick pay so worried about that tGood thinking of all of you facing and going through this