Diagnosed with grade 3 invasive breast cancer on 14th April. Surgery was not a success as unable to get clear margins and the cancer has spread to the sentinel node. Also will need chemo.
This news plus the stress of the diagnosis has started to takes it’s toll on me physically and mentally. Have always felt well but these last few days I have felt unwell. I’m unable to sleep and eat properly. I get aches in my hips and knees which panics me and make me anxious
I just feel all fight I had has been zapped out of me and now worried how I am going to cope with the gruelling chemo. Feel so down and worried I am not going to get through this. Just finding it difficult to feel positive about anything anymore anyone else experiencing this? X
You’re way further down the line than me so I’m not surprised that you’re feeling like this.
I only went to the GP a little over 2 weeks ago, clinic the day before yesterday and diagnosed then and there. Full results from biopsies due on tuesday. I’m absolutely exhausted, mentally and emotionally and haven’t been able to go to work today as I’ve been in meltdown and floods of tears for most of the day… not good when I’ve got my own business and I’m having to leave it to my (wonderful!) staff to keep everything afloat while I fall apart. I’m feeling guilty for doing this which makes me feel even worse!
I, like you, am feeling like I don’t know where I’m going to find the strength and the energy to cope with the coming weeks and months but I am sure that we both will. I’m guessing that it’s all part of the journey to be feeling like this and I’m guessing that there will be plenty of lovely people on here who will be able to relate and reassure us that indeed we will get through it.
Hi Sandie and Mel
I am sorry to read that you are both having such a difficult time
Along with the support here please also feel free to call our helpliners to talk your feelings through, they are on hand with a listening ear, practical and emotional support on 0808 800 6000 and lines are open during the week 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I am nearly 2 months down the line and it’s been a total nightmare of waiting for appointments, having unsuccessful surgery and now facing further surgery and chemotherapy. It’s absolutely terrifying and life is changed forever.
Have spells of positivity but they tend to be short as the fear takes over. Keep getting told that BC is very treatable but have to go through horrible treatments to recover.
Whatever you do, don’t read the sections on secondaries. I did and it upset me greatly sending me into a downward spiral. Just concentrate on the journey you are having now.
We all need to rant as otherwise this terrible experience will send us insane. I have lost count of the meltdowns and tears I have had since being diagnosed.
Left a hysterical telephone message to my
BCN and she got back to me quickly. She spent nearly a hour on the phone listening to my fears and emotions. She reassured me that feeling unwell and the aches and pains are due to stress not the cancer (that’s what reading the secondary section does to you).
She is encouraging me to adopt mindfulness and look into complimentary therapies to help with the anxiety. Maybe it’s something you might want to consider.
She says the chemo is an insurance to increase the chances of the cancer not coming back and that chemo is very effective in killing grade 3 cancer cells.
So came off the phone feeling a bit calmer and more able to function (still got aches and pains though) until the next meltdown.
What you are feeling is perfectly normal so don’t beat yourself up and try to find things that you enjoy doing to take your mind off it. It’s truly dreadful experience but we will come out of it stronger.
Hi Mel,
Glad you managed to make it to work, as I’ve said on another thread that has really helped me carry on! It gives you something else to think about!
Jealous if your meal! I don’t think I have enjoyed one piece of food in 6 weeks lol which is awful too as I love to eat!! Ha!
Are any other ladies experiencing total loss of appetite or interest in eating?
I’m also not alone with the food thing then :S
I’ve been joking it’s every women’s dream to not have any desire for food, but actually the reality is not that at all!
X
Been for my results appointment. I have a small but aggressive cancer that has shown signs of spread in the blood vessels of the breast. So lucky I found it when I did as if I didn’t it would have gone into my body.
Been offered a WLE or a mastectomy plus ANC but undecided at the moment. Think chemotherapy will start first to treat the body. Been told the aim of the treatment is to cure me not treat me.
It is so terrifying and feel totally emotionally drained. It’s going to be a battle! Xx
Thanks for your kind support I already had WLE and SNB surgery on 12th may but unfortunately came back as unclear margins and SNB positive fir cancer so it’s the option of a further WLE or mastectomy with ANC. However they said to give me thinking time I can start chemo first.
Not been coping with the diagnosis and the fact even though BC is curable in the early stages that there are no guarantees that it will stay away. This I am finding hard to come to terms with and I am having to access different support agencies to try and help me develop coping strategies.
It’s such a nightmare for us all and still can’t believe that I got BC xx
The surgeon said that the margins were mostly clear except from one side (nearest to the armpit) where channels of cancer cells were near to the edge. He said he can take more from that edge and a bit more from the top too. He said it should come back clear but again said can’t guarantee it.
You are absolutely right it is a surreal bad dream that you desperately want to wake from but can’t coming on this forum makes me realise it’s not just me stuck in this nightmare
It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am, like you, a massive worrier who thinks the worse. My diagnosis has devastated me and the anxiety about it all is overwhelming. When do you start your chemotherapy?
Been for a long walk to try and ease my anxiety and downloaded the mindfulness app on my phone. Going to join a younger women group so can meet women in a similar situation to me. Also going to get paired up with another woman who has been through a similar experience in hope she will help me cope better.
I am hoping once chemo starts that I will start to feel better as chemo is supposed to very effective in blasting those grade 3 cells to smithereens!
I keep trying to think to myself that there are excellent survival rates with this and look at kylie minogue, sheryl crow, Olivia Newton-John, Sheila Hancock plus many more that have beaten this and remained disease-free. Hope myself and everyone on this forum beat this and that it stays away! Xxxx
Good news about your surgery at least you can move onto the next stage. Been thinking more about having a bi-lateral mastectomy as my breasts are pretty dense and think the mammograms could have difficulty detecting anything. I only found this lump by chance and the denseness of the breast made it hard to feel. Want to do everything I can to prevent myself going through this again.
Managed to get some sleep but fairly restless so think I am going to the g.p. for some sleeping tablets. Appetite still gone and the weight is melting off me.
Oncologist’s appointment on Tuesday to discuss chemo and part of me wants to get on with it so can move towards getting the cure. Another part of me is scared as don’t know what it is going to be like.
I have done race for life in the past and donated to cancer charities. You hope it will never be you and when it happens your life is turned upside down one day we will look back on this as a horrible blip on our lives xxxx
Hi sisterjayne
Just don’t think I can go through this ordeal again hence wanting a double mastectomy plus the yearly mammograms for the rest of my life. Then if they do find something having to go through the treatment again. I just can’t face it
Don’t feel strong at the moment, just incredibly frightened about the future and shocked I have got this. I know it’s mainly curable and most women remain disease-free and go onto live long lives. It’s the fact that for some women it does come back sometimes years later that scares me and no one can give me any guarantee it won’t be me. That’s what I am struggling with
Feel grief for the cancer-free life i have lost and for the future I don’t know I have any more. Suppose to be starting university this September but instead will be battling cancer.
Mel66 explain to your friend what’s happened and encourage her to be breast aware. That’s what I have done with my friends/family. I am sure she will be able to offer her support. You are in a non-win situation with the insurance. If it’s invasive (which you hope it isn’t) then they will pay out but if it isn’t then they won’t pay out and your business could be affected cancer certainly mucks every thing up!
Thank you for your encouraging words of positivity. Sleep has been problematic for me again so going to see if I can sleeping pills from the doctors. Things seem incredibly bleak when I wake up in the middle of the night with horrible thoughts about this being inside me and will I get through this.
The unsuccessful surgery has plunged me into despair, I wanted clear margins and negative SNB so I could move on quickly onto the next stage of treatment. But now i am in limbo not knowing which way to turn. Tomorrow I am seeing the oncologist who should be able to advise me whether to have surgery first or start chemotherapy. Hopefully after tomorrow i will be able to move on in terms of treatment.
Been matched with a lady from ‘someone like me’ who has been through a similar situation to me. Hopefully that will help me to realise there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Just can’t wait for the time where cancer will no longer dominate my life like it is at the moment. From the moment I wake up until the moment I try to sleep it’s there constantly. How are you getting on? You seem so strong and positive whilst I am just falling apart you can look to your mum and sister and see it is beatable. I do have a close friend who had stage 3 BC 6 years ago. She is well and disease-free. She keeps saying if she can beat it then I will definitely will. I have my mum for support but she not had BC (which is good ) so she can’t ever really know how awful it is.
Hope to god it will just be a horrible blip that will stay away and that i will come out of it a stronger and better person. Would be good to help other women in the future with this frightening diagnosis but for now need to concentrate on my own horrible journey.
Love and hugs to all you brave ladies out there xxxx
Managed to get some sleeping tablets from
the doctors. So hopefully be able to have a better night’s sleep.
Oncologist tomorrow and see what’s the next step in the process. It’s either further surgery or chemotherapy. If it’s further surgery then got appointment on Wednesday to see the surgeon. He seems to prefer to perform a further WLE and said my breast should be able to take more tissue removal. However he did say I can have a mastectomy but it’s up to me.
If there’s lympho vascular invasion then would it just be a straight mastectomy? Surely he won’t do just a WLE on a diseased breast. My lymph nodes under my arm are not swollen and even my gp said they feel normal. However cancer was found in the sentinel node so hoping it was stopped before it got to the lymph nodes. If that’s the case then that should be put as stage 1 cancer. It’s the not knowing that I find so difficult and stressful. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a better idea xxx
Was wonderful I put my head on the pillow and was out like a light no tossing and turning and racing negative thoughts. So nice to be able to sleep. Still feeling a bit groggy now.
Yeah the initiative ‘someone like me’ is good as you are speaking to someone whose been through it and has been fine since. Google tend to be full of horror stories and out of date statistics. BC does have the best survival rates of all cancers and there are new treatments being developed all the time to combat this disease. One day there will be a vaccine for BC like there is for cervical cancer. I cannot wait for this day so no more women have to go through this dreadful disease.
Oncology appt today and hoping by end of the day i will have a treatment plan in place so I can get this thing beaten.
Chemo starts tomorrow and feel a bit scared having 3 x ec90 and 3 x docetaxol. Had my hair cut into a short bob and picked out a wig.
Anyone had the above chemo and what’s is it like? Really dreading the side effects and feeling poorly. This really a horrible nightmare!
On a positive note, my friend who was recalled after a mammogram found it was just old scar tissue and that she is fine she was so relieved. She was a stage 3 so gives me some hope xx
Had my first cycle of chemo today. Was petrified and shaking with fear. I broke down when I saw the syringes of chemo drugs being lined up. The lovely nurse and my mum managed to calm me down. Then she put the needle in my vein but it didn’t go in right and was so painful. She quickly removed it and put it in another vein and it went in ok.
She give me loads of anti sickness meds before the chemo then she administered the chemo syringe by syringe. Didn’t feel a thing and was drinking tea and sipping water all way through.
Then it was all finished. Was given more anti sickness medication and mouthwash to take home. Been warned that my hair will go in the next few days which I am dreading however so far feel ok. Had a crumpet and a piece of cake when I got home and it tasted normal. Hope I will have minimal side effects. Been for a long walk with the OH and felt fine.
Next anti-sickness med is due tonight. Feel slightly better that the first one is out of the way. Last night was truly horrible and was frightened out of my wits.
Mel66 hope your op went well and you are on the sofa enjoying a glass of wine xx
Sister Jayne hope you are well, what’s your next treatment? Xx
Glad your op wasn’t as bad as you expected our minds do programme us to think the worse. I was in a right state last night and even told my other half that I am not going to get through this! 24 hours later I’m lying on the sofa watching tv
Taken my latest anti sickness medication as do not want to be sick. Suffering from constipation already but will take something in
the morning to sort it just hope there will be minimal side effects.
Hope you are enjoying your therapeutic red wine and feel a bit better now it’s done. Good luck with your SNB biopsy xx
I already had WLE and SNB surgery on 12th may but unfortunately came back as unclear margins and SNB positive fir cancer