Well I am home! Discharged at 10.15! Absolutely lovely nurses and doctors. The anaesthetist asked for diet advice when he weighed me and said I was 11 lbs lighter than I was at pre-op appointment and heard I had lost 66lbs. Will post tomorrow as tired and heading to bed but Sandie73 I completely understand why you feel panic but these are good percentages! I think you are clearly down at the moment and do think you need to talk to someone to help you through this really hard stage. Please take care. P xx
PS - nobody told me I would pee blue! Very disconcerting!
Hi all,
I’m waiting for results following wle on 30/6, should hopefully get them tomorrow tho I’ve been told they may not be back in time. Feeling so stressed today, I know I can’t do anything about it, just need to know!!! I’m worried that the margins won’t be clear because the dcis is so close to the chest wall. I know there are a lot of v brave ladies on this forum having a much harder time than me, just needed to say how I feel!!
Thanks, & gentle hugs to everyone xx
Bad move, I rang the hospital to check that my results are back for tomorrow, thinking I’d be a bit calmer if I knew they were there. But they’re not of course, now have to ring an hour before my appt time at 2pm to see if they’ve turned up. It’s not a criticism of the hospital, I was told they might not be there in time but it’s the last thing I needed- can’t take another week of waiting :-/
Hands are literally shaking now, I need to get a grip!!!
:-(((
Feel a bit sick as just heard my results appointment after surgery is 22nd July. Trying to stay positive and busy. They said they did not think it had spread to the nodes but of course had to take them out to test, but this waiting is so very hard.
Sandie73 - good to hear from you and good that you are through your second chemo. Lots of warm hugs to you.
Hi Sisterjayne,
Yes, I have stopped the strong painkillers now as they made me very constipated and I felt a little nauseous on them. Only the paracetamol now and painwise doing OK. Very slight blood on dressings but they told me it was probably fluid and there is no redness or swelling so to keep an eye on it and if any problems over the weekend to go to the ward and get checked. But I do think I have been too enthusiastic with the exercises and that because the wound is in near the fold under my breast it pulls more easily.
I did have a WLE so waiting for margins result as well as nodes. They told me several times that the nodes looked OK but of course I am now worried that they might find something there. My cupboards, drawers etc are the clearest and emptiest they have been for years, and all our papers are in order now. I’ll need to think about something else to occupy me now! I feel weary with all this waiting and worrying but of course you all know what that’s like.
Hope everyone out there has managed through the week with whatever you have faced, and Sandie73, hope you are doing ok after your second chemo. Take care.
P xx
Minimarie56, I hope you have a GREAT time tomorrow and definitely think you should pass on the tea! I can only imagine how you felt being told that there was something in the nodes, having been told they could see nothing on the ultrasound scans - I too was told this and I am worried that they will find something. I was told surgery then radiotherapy as well. The only thing we can do is take all the medical interventions we are offered to beat this and KILL the cancer dead in its tracks. This is our ONLY choice. I hope you do well with the diet over the next three weeks and lose the 10 lbs again - it can definitely be done. But, remember that you have had surgery and that your body needs lovely healthy food – I have been taking this advice myself and have eaten really healthily. Seemed to put on 4lbs overnight after surgery, but this has been fluid as back to the weight I was on Sunday and have been eating a bit more to help me heal and recover. My blood sugars are 4.8 (this is the HbC1a, the ‘big’ blood test that measures the average over 60/90 days) which is brilliant and I really feel I can reverse tis diabetes. So, I have 2 battles now, but I am SO determined to win the both and you must be as well.
Jayni64, thanks for your support. It sounds as if we are at a very similar stage, though I was told I would not need chemo – but I know that will only be the case if the nodes are clear. I want to be out and about doing lots of things to keep busy, and keep my mind off it, but am really not able as yet as only 4 days post-op. I am sending you lots and lots of positive feelings (and of course am doing the same to everyone else!).
Sisterjayne, you are an inspiration, and you keep me going and help me stay positive. Thank you so much!
Sandie73 – how are you doing today? Keep posting, when you feel up to it, and do let us know.
Love and lots of hugs to you all. You are such a great bunch of women. We will get there! I truly believe that.
Julie,
It is up to you of course but I’d have the surgery and treatment - you can postpone the holiday and do it when you have recovered. I know this is so disappointing but your health comes first.
Take care.
P x
I’ve been reading through your posts and can so relate to how you’re feeling. I’ve so far had a mammogram, ultrasound and 2 core biopsies after finding a lump about 6 weeks ago now, (which the GP thought would be ok). My first biopsy came as inconclusive & the second one benign. However, it was getting those results for the second one that the Dr said it was actually the first biopsy that concerned them, as on only one of the pieces of the biopsy (after being sliced up) they found invasive ductal cancer, (that’s all I know at the moment). They then said that because it was so small & only on one piece that they had to think about the possibility of cross contamination, but the Dr’s seem pretty sure this isn’t the case as it didn’t match any other samples that day. They’ve sent that piece for DNA testing. So, I now have to have a breast MRI Wednesday & then hopefully the results the following Wednesday. The waiting is horrific. One minute I feel ok & the next in complete meltdown. Trying so hard to stay ‘normal’ for my two young children, but really struggling. It’s all I think about, and that feeling when you wake up in the morning and think everything’s ok & then you remember! Sorry for rambling, just wanted to say you’re not alone in how you feel. X
Thank you, it’s good to talk to people who understand, (although not good that we have to go through it), but the loneliness is hard. I’m lucky I have supportive family and friends but unless you’ve been there is hard to comprehend. X
Hi Sandie,
I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with pillocks when all your energies should be focused on getting well again. You should cut them out of your life and out of your head. You need positive things going on! This is hard and stressful and lonely enough without having to deal with anyone’s nonsense and bad behaviour! You need to be completely selfish - in the sense that your focus is on yourself and your needs at the moment. I believe in lists. Make a list of what YOU need to get through the next couple of months, and make a list of what you don’t need, and then literally do whatever you need to get rid of what you don’t need! I am so angry for you! Can you perhaps book a nice day for yourself to get a massage, manicure, pedicure with a friend and then a nice relaxing lunch and perhaps a film and some wine? Step out of your head for a while?
Take care and keep posting. Sisterjayne is absolutely right. This will end!
P xx
Ooh happy birthday sisterjayne, have a lovely day in the Gower, we used to go camping there & got engaged there, or friends got married there, love the place xxxx
Hi Sisterjayne,
Happy birthday! I hope you have a lovely time and that you get some great gifts. I spent a nice day with my husband and we had coffee in the morning and then lunch - and then my family came in the evening for what we in our family call a ‘picnic tea’. And cake! I am not eating carbs or sugar to reverse the diabetes and lose weight so I didn’t eat cake I’m afraid. I have now lost 68 lbs and am so determined. Bloods tomorrow so don’t want all that sugar in my system! I think it is also about control - I can’t do anything about the BC but I can do something about the diabetes hopefully, and I don’t want to let them down as I am on a trial.
I forgot to say - I was asked on the day of my surgery if I would be on a BC trial and let them take blood three times - before surgery, two weeks later and a month later, and if they could have any tissue left over from the investigations. I agreed. Of course. They are looking at proteins and how to tailor treatment to individual women more accurately and to move more quickly from research to the bedside. It will not benefit us, I don’t think, but others perhaps - which is great as we all have sisters and mothers and daughters and female friends.
I hope you are all ok ladies (Sandie? Maz?) - warm and gentle hugs to you all.
P xx
Shame you live so far away from me! I am in Scotland. You would be so welcome to sample the cakes! My family think I have flipped as I have never baked but for some reason I do now. Chocolate cake for the birthday, cheese and fruit scones and banana bread this week. I do give lots of it away! P x
I am not sure if this is the same trial Maz - I am looking at the information and consent forms and mine is The Collection of Tissue, Biospecimens and Data for Research, and does not require more of me than three blood samples (day of surgery, two weeks and four weeks) and permission to use any spare tissue left over from my biopsies and surgery. I am back on Tuesday and will check though. You are right though you do need to talk this through with someone as it sounds like it will influence your actual treatment. Hope you are doing ok.
P xx
I was diagnosed on the 24th June 2014 and i think i can say that its up there with the days i lost my parents as one of the worse days of my life. I had found the lump on the night of saturday 7th goin into the 8th June when i held a BBQ for my 40th Birthday i woke up at 4.40am with the most horrific pain in my breast like i was being stabbed through my nipple right p to my armpit. This pain lasted until about 5.10am i was squeezing my breast to try and ease the pain and felt the lump. when i got up the following morning i had friends that had stayed over and was telling them and they sugguested maybe i had strained myself when we had taken the gazebo’s dow so i had thought yes that what it will be but it played heavy on my mind and on the tues i rang and made an appointment with the doctor. I goes to see the doctor after work and he examined me but then proceded to tell me that policies and protocols was for me to go back in 6 weeks time if lump was still there and i had had a period and he would then do a referal to the hospital. i told the doctor that i was not happy with this and i thought it was procedure i would be refered with a lump to be seen under the 2 week rule but he insisted that he would follow guidelines and i was to go back in 6 weeks time so i left the surgery. i work within a hospital and on the thursday it was still playing heavy on my mind so i went to the breast department for advice and told them the situation. They told me to go back the doctors and insist he do the referal under the 2 week rule to get checked out and said a lot of the time it is just a cyst and thats probably what it is but it will still need to be drained.So i rang my doctors to get another appointment with a different doctor an went back an he done the referal. Again i told him that i had been un happy the first doctor hadnt done the referal. So i gets my appointment for the 24th June and goes and has a mamogram at first then i was examined by a doctor who said they needed an ultrasound and it was then i was told that things didnt look right and she wanted to do a fine needle test which the results would be back with 20 mins approx and also a biospy. I had gone to the appointment on my own as i was in work and at no point did i ever think it would be cancer, even when the ultrasonic lady said it didnt look right and she thought it best i ring someone to come and be with me, so back out in the waiting room i sit waiting for the results when i was called again and taken up the corridor to a nice little room with tissues and flowers and still i didnt think anything, i thought because by this time they knew i worked in the hospital they put me in that nice room because i was staff. how naive im i?? Then came the blow that knocked me right down i had breast cancer!!! i goes back to clinic a week later to find the results out but all i was told was that it was grade 3 but they still didnt know what cancer it was they told me they know it is hormone sensitive but dont know if its her2. I went in to hospital last week and had a wide local exision and for the lymph nodes to be tested ( i have forgotten all the techinical words ) the sentinal lymph node had cancerous cells in and so i had to have a full lymph node clearance of my armpit. i go back on friday the 25th June for my results im not sure if further surgery will be needed as when the surgeon came to see me she mentioned there could be a need for more surgery depending on the results if not i will definetly need to have the chemotherapy and then radiotherapy. I am trying to stay positive as im a single mum of 3 children and i need to be strong for them although they are 20,19 and 16 it is so very hard on them because they only know of cancer and death as this is what happened to both my parents. It is just the waiting to find out the results and to find out if i will for definate need to have chemo ( i live in hope) i have been told by surgeon and breast care nurse that i will for sure need chemo but im clingy on to hope. Im also struggling with this drain too and the fact that im off work and i know these seem trivial but im not used to doin nothing. I know its goin to be tough goin through the chemo as i have seen both my parents go though it, and that really is my main worry i know everythin else is a walk in the park apart from this blasted chemo. I think its the not knowing and goin into the unknown. But one thing for sure is i know that staying positive really is going to help me win this battle as i refuse to let it win me!!!
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Thank you guys. I’m really strong and staying positive too be honest i have really surprised myself but i have had to be strong all through my life for my kids i’ve brought them up onn my own for the last 13 years and had to deal with the illnesses through cancer of both my parents and i have had to be there for my children. I do my crying on my own in my bedroom although my daughter caught me the a few weeks back. My only worries and concerns are this chemotherapy as i no that is going to be the one that physically takes over my body. everythin else i can stand up to but i know that im gonna lose to the chemo. xx
I read all these posts and alternate between being very sad and very angry that we are having to deal with all this stress and anxiety and fear about the future. It is incredible the huge numbers of women who are being dagnosed with breast cancer - 48,000 a year in the UK is the figure I have read. This sounds like epidemic proportions to me, and I wonder why the numbers are so high and if enough research is being done to try to find out why this is happening to us and how best to treat it. I worry for my daughter, my nieces and my sisters. And for my (future) female grandchildren. I worry about the fact that we all talk in acronyms now, and that this has become part of our everyday vocabulary and our way of communicating. I worry that it seems that treatments are different for what sounds like the same kinds of cancer. Why would this be the case? I worry (and am so very angry to read) that some women are left to worry for weeks and weeks before it is even properly investiagated - this sounds like complete incompetence to me. I worry that every little pain, or tweak, is cancer related and that I simply don’t trust my body any more. I worry that all this worrying is affecting me adversely and will impact on my recovery. Not in a good place at the moment, am I?
However, I think you are all incredibly brave and open and honest and that the kindness and support you show everyone on this forum is fantastic. But I worry about all of you.
Sorry that you’ve found yourself here! I too have only recently joined, but everyone’s been so lovely making me feel that my feelings about this are all normal. I too tend to do my crying on my own, (although I’m lucky to have a supportive husband), but don’t want to burden him too much either, and then but on my brave face, (although scared stiff inside). Good luck. xx
xx