The tears are finally flowing

Morning everyone!

 

I have been ‘pushing myself’ to keep going for the last 3 months or so.  I have been unable to cry until this last week.  Finally, I am crying.  I see this as a positive thing as the emotion needs to come out because the stress of ‘staying strong’ is starting to take its toll on me.

 

Today I have called in sick at work and will stay home, cry if I need to, potter around the house and get it tidy.  One of the side-effects of my pressure cooker building up is not doing the chores or cooking, and eating and drinking way too much rubbish and wine.  Later I have a free massage, or perhaps a facial, booked through the local Harmony Trust charity here in Kent.  It is time to look after myself and pamper this battered body.  

 

I start rads on Thursday and would like to be in a better frame of mind for that.  Today I have admitted I can’t ignore the emotional effects of cancer.  I am fortunate I haven’t got to go through chemo but I keep being told that I still have cancer and have a right to feel the way I do.  Because I am not having chemo I feel that I don’t have a right to be upset because I have been incredibly lucky to have my cancer caught early.  I see so many people worse off than myself (I work in a hospital cancer services centre).  Cancer is cancer whatever degree of the disease you have.  It is the biggest battle I have ever had to face and will continue to face for the rest of my life.

 

Hoping everyone is feeling good this morning.  Thank you for listening to my ramblings - you are invaluable to someone like me who lives alone.  I get so much inspiration and comfort from reading this forum - thank you.

 

BW

Alison:catsad:

Alison - what a wise woman you are! As you already know, recovery from breast cancer is a process, and what you are describing sounds like a very good description of this process, and your self-awareness means you are undertaking it in a very healthy way. I couldn’t even presume to give you advice since what you have written is spot-on and you are doing exactly what you need to do. You are used to supporting others, and some of us in that sort of field find it very hard to ask for or accept support. The massage or facial sound great - have an indulgant day (or several.) xxx

Good morning Alison, 

 

Just wanted to drop you a note to say that it is really fine to have a good cry… 

 

Have an awesome day doing facial or massage… relax… you deserve to be pampered

 

Wishing you well. Take care

Oh my goodness the facial was just what I needed.  I felt very chilled and pampered and it gave me an hour of total relaxation.  Well worth it. xx

Bless you AliMck799, I feel your pain. Do what you need to xxx