THE THINGS KIDS SAY
THE THINGS KIDS SAY Just received this email and would like to share it with you, oh to be a child again…lol
-
This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
-
Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
-
If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don’t have sea all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)
-
Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She’s not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6) -
A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age
-
My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6) -
When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn’t blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating
beans. (William age 7) -
I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen age 6)
-
I’m not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy age 6) -
Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
-
When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
-
Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)
-
On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her fat ass. (Jule age 7)
Hope it made you smile, it sure did me
Elaine
Elaine just read these so very funny, love it
xx
Loved these and heres another one for you -
Alice adored her mother’s stimulated fur coat!!
Treakle x
My three year old grandson told me I looked like a zombie when he saw me without my wig and make up on!
Loved them I have nothing to contribute but I just want to say that I loved them.
Grandson My grandson Callum asked me tonight why was my face so wrinkled…wow thanks a bunch, kick a woman whens shes down…lol
Elaine
A friend for years thought the saying “death warmed up” was a deaf worn duck! No wonder she never understood it - mind she is blond but we forgive her. (sorry blondes!)
Daughter just reminded me of when my son was little coming up to Christmas we were talking about what meat we would get and he piped up what about peasant for a change! He’s so regal!
CHRISTMAS You got me thinking now, its only six months to christmas, still payng for last years…lol
Elaine
playing the violin? or? My friend who is a talented guitarist and vocalist and who sings in a choir decided to learn to play the violin. I myself was also learning and we used to practice together in out lunch break. She picked it up really quickly and was soon streets ahead of me.
Well this friend has twin boys who were about age 5 at the time. One evening she was at home practicing, feeling very good with herself for progressing so well. Her boys entered the room, asking if they could have a go. The answer was no as the violin was too big for them anyway.
Her sons continued to protest and finally one of them said:
‘Oh Mummy, please let us have a scrape too’!
She packed in playing soon after that and her boys who are both now aged 15 have just done their grade 8 music exams for 2 different instruments. They also play in various rock and brass bands. She realised even at that tender age that her sons knew good playing when they heard it!
Irene