Good luck with your surgery, don’t be afraid to ask ffor help/ company, people like to feel useful and despite my initial rant, they mean well x
Oh Lisa that made me smile - I felt amazingly healthy until they say they started treating me!! I’ve also declined most opportunities to meet/chat/text others as every one of us & every journey is different x
Hello Quaggie, cancer is a lonely place -doesn’t matter how many people you have around you or how helpful they are - they really can’t understand how it feels unless they have been there themselves .I found the support of ladies on here a sanity saver and felt quite distant from my " real life" friends when going through treatment …Yes access counselling /support from outside - local cancer charities often offer a wide rang of support services/therapies.If you can get some company from friends to attend appointments it does help - if you have some really close friends -maybe you could ask them for a bit of support if you have to through chemo .
And yes wveryone does expect you to be back to normal once you have finished treatment but you are not !!! It takes time and sometimes outside help to get used to your post cancer normal which is why a lot of us are still floating around years later on the forum .Good luck with your op .Jill x
People really do come out with such guff !!! But I reminded myself how I reacted when my nextdoor neighbour told me he had terminal lung cancer over the garden fence - I babbled something ridiculous and made a hasty retreat .Most people are really trying to be helpful but just don’t quite get it right .A while ago we talked about writing a book along the lines of what not to say to someone with cancer and what actually does help.
? well you certainly made it very clear !!! Generally better not to beat around the bush - save your energy for other things .“Think positive” and “you are strong” were the things that did my head in the most - usually said at a time when I was a blubbering mess!!!
Jill
Oh you are so right, cancer is a lonely place! No one can understand it unless they have been on the journey themselves. I too find that this is the place where I can seek support and reassurance and that someone will understand it like it is. Well meaning friends and family don’t always get it right!
Appletree
I love your email! As Jill said, you certainly told them in a clear and concise way!! Well done, lady!!
I’ve been very careful whom I’ve chosen to share my diagnosis with and still sometimes I wonder…!
Hope everyone is ok today.
love to you all
Rosie xx
@optimissy64
That’s shocking! How dare she? I’d be incandescent! (I do find I’m quick to anger nowadays)
I sincerely hope there is not a third time.
Best wishes
Jacq x
Hi well today’s comments have put such a smile on my face especially as I have spent this morning with my mother who has been unbelievable since I told her about my diagnosis.
I did not tell her that I had a recall or a biopsy as there was nothing to tell so when I finally got told ‘It’s breast cancer you are booked in for surgery next week’ I went to her house that day and told her.
Mother’s reaction… I am so disappointed in you how could you have not told me!!.. Told you what mum there was nothing to tell… Well I am still very upset and hurt she said you have really disappointed me. Needless to say my husband nearly lifted me out of the house to save me facing breast cancer behind bars
Fast forward 12 weeks now post surgery and day 2 of radiotherapy. Mum’s thoughts for today… I am still so hurt by you don’t think we will ever have the same relationship we had before you went and got cancer. Hello like I went and got it on purpose!.
So to all you ladies out there I have for sale one very disappointed mother I am prepared to pay good money for someone to take her away at least until my radiotherapy is finished.xx love her really but still want to kill her.xxx
@Mcnulcc
??♀️ If we were playing insensitivity top trumps, I think you’d be in with a chance! ??♀️
@Appletree, I know what you mean, I found myself in hospital with neutropenia feeling like a fraud because everyone else was sicker than me. It was the next day when I realised, hold on, I’ve got cancer! Eek! Still catches me unawares three months in.
Hugs
Jacq x
JacqB. As I said love her to bits but she is never going to win mother of the year award. Ha ha… Just another tale to tell when this is all over. Xx
@mcnulcc I hope you don’t mind, but your post did made me laugh, heaven save us from our mothers eh? Not sure if I had to go and get a cancer I’d choose this one tbh.
Like @Apple tree I have often suspected I’m actually an extra in an extended Victoria Wood sketch (even pre BC) I’m certain a sense of the ridiculous is what’s getting me through this.
I’m 8 weeks post op and waiting for my radiotherapy schedule, as with every activity on this ‘journey’ it’s frustrating being ‘on hold’ for me & hubster (should really be hubstar now) I’ve greated the postman with indecent enthusiasm every morning this week and am expecting an injunction soon ?
mahamilton glad I made you smile. Her comments regarding my breast cancer are just a taste of some of the bizarre things she has said in the past. Like you I do feel like my life is a really bad sitcom at the moment. Last two days the Rads machine has been on the blink an hour and a half wait yesterday two hours today. However watching people ringing the bell and seeing the joy on their faces made the wait so much more bearable. Hope you’re letter comes before the postman reports you xx
Hello ladies
I’ve so enjoyed the things written on this thread! I know so many thoughtless words can be so upsetting but I’m also pleased that, through the gritted teeth and tears, we can also laugh about them together too.
I love the idea of the imaginary sit-com and I’m going to try to keep this in mind when I receive stupid comments!!!
I was asked the other day about when i had my radiotherapy sessions, whether i went into a cubicle and was zapped…??? It’s not exactly a tanning studio…!! Oh dear.??
Take care all and I wish everyone good luck with treatment and recovery.
Rosie xx
Now I’ve upped my game,changed my diet, stopped smoking, cut down on alcohol, increased my exercise regime and managed to lose some weight. I’ve never felt better!! So how come I keep getting asked ‘you’ve lost weight! Are you ok?’ Aaaargghh???
Hi Delly Unfortunately no offers to take her as yet but my sister is working on a cunning plan to ship her off to my brother in Wales for a few weeks. I invited her over for dinner last night and my husband hid the carving knives before she came so all is well. I won’t be arrested just yet. Well today sees the start of week 2 of Rads so must go and shake myself and gear up for my daily flashing of the chest session. Take care everyone and hope your treatments go well today xx
Good luck with week 2 !! I was one of the "lucky " ones I had to wear a bra during radiotherapy as my boobs were too floppy and they couldn’t guarantee to keep them in the right position !!! So they " customised " one of my cotton bras ( put slits in it to show tattoos - pen mark to help line up machine !!! I knew it was my turn next when they ceremoniously carried through my Madonna bra to the treatment room .When I was finished I burnt it ceremoniously in the BBQ !!!
Oh Jill, that’s btilluant, truely a Victoria Wood scetch in real life - biting our bras in the 21st century’s, the suffragettes would be proud!! How’re you feeling post Radiotherapy?
Hi - I am a couple of years on now from radiotherapy - I was very tired for 2/3 weeks after finishing and had a very slow phased return to work .
By way of an update I got my letter on Friday, postie has resumed his normal relaxed posture and I’ve dnjoyed planning a holiday between my planning meeting and the start of Rads. I think the Hubsters earned it ( should really be Hubstar now), the transition from the pill to tamoxifen hasn’t been fun… congratulations Alibobs, it’s not easy making changes st the best of times is it x
It’s hard on those around us too .Hope you have a nice holiday .