The uncertainty is sending me nuts!

Is this the correct place to post my anxiety?? I found a lump back in May kept a check throughout my cycle(i knew the procedure after having a benign lumpectomy 17 years ago) but the lump never changed or went away! I went to the GP i was then referred to the breast Clinic had a triple assessment Mammogram, ultrasound and a core biopsy(stupidly i went on my own usually a tough cookie) after 4 hours and ALL the other patience told they had cysts(i was told nothing) i was a wreck! The results i didn’t get back for 3 weeks a letter came through the post result Benign a big weight off my shoulders or so i thought! Obviously after the core biopsy the lump changed shape, now it has returned to the original shape but bigger and 2 more lumps with it under my arm(a small finger space between all the lumps) a very frustrating visit to the GP not my usual doctor the GP actualy asked if i wanted him to check the lumps??? he shrugged his shoulders a few times and eventually checked out the lumps and said they were my ribs? NOT(i have a degree in physiology and anatomy!!) but he said he would still re-refer me back to the hospital.I’ve since been to see my consultant from 17 years ago (privately because i couldn’t go through the 4 hours trauma i had in july again!)after seeing the consultant i felt much happier and not neurotic, the consultant isn’t happy with what he felt or saw and on the 31st i am going for another ultrasound + whatever else he deems relevant after the ultrasound. I am an absolute wreck and the tough cookie has crumbled and i’ve found out who my real friends are! I’ve lost count on how many times a day i cry! Just thought a bit of support from all those that know how i’m feeling may help.

Hi there, so sorry you are having such a hard time. You’ve done the best you can for yourself by getting a second opinion. Hopefully the waiting won’t be too long now. Hugs to you.

Dear Tallulabelle

You have really been mucked around and through the mill. I’m pleased to hear you’re now being seen and sorted out but it’s all the worry and stress and it’s horrible. The main thing is that you didn’t let it drop and you were persistent. I’m not surprised you feel like a wreck after all you’ve been through. You’ll get a lot of support here and you’ve come to the right place.
Best wishes and thinking of you
Ruby xx

Hi Tallulabelle

I understand that things must be very difficult and scary at the moment but you’ve come to the right place for support.

You may find that giving the helpline a ring may help. They are great listeners and can offer support and information as well as sources of help.

They are open M-F 9.00 am until 5.00 pm and Saturday 9.00 am until 2.00 pm.

The number is 0808 800 6000.

Kind regards.

Louise
Facilitator

thankyou xx
I forgot to mention that my mum, her sister(my aunt)and my cousin have had breast cancer. And my lump is in the same place i had my lumpectomy/lymph glands etc removed 17 years ago.
The trauma in july was an horrible experience and think the procedure should be altered(should the radiographers really be telling patients the results of cysts? Especially in some patients this isn’t the case! Out of the 20 women there the morning of my appointment 18 had cysts and 1 cancer and myself inconclusive until further tests.
I’m sure i am on the right site and not had that many tears so far today xx

still feel like i’m going nuts!!! My next appointment has come through for saturday 31st Oct, 2 days before my 40th birthday! Don’t know what to do with myself? If i hear from 1 more person chin up, it’ll be nothing(think i may just punch them on the chin!)I feel like going into hybernation!
xx

just sending you a hug amd hope you have a fabulous fortieth birthday with plenty to celebrate x

love

Carol xoxox

Thanks Carol
I’m in need of lots of hugs today(day of crying so far!) the OH has buried his end in the sand with it all and if it wasn’t for a few friends but some friends seemed to have disappeared since i needed to go back to the hospital so much so i’ve had to cancel the spa day we were all going on tomorrow!
Love and respect to all the people going and gone through the same and worse xx

Dear tallulabelle,

As Louise said earlier, the helpline is there for support and to talk things through. They’ll be open at 9.00.

Kindest regards

Janet
BCC Facilitator

hi there cant believe you are missing a spa day, my other half also buried his head in the sand, but last week over a bottle of wine, he broke down and told me how he was feeling, how scared he was, it was a total ice breaker and things have been so much better since then.

Good luck for Saturday, hopefully you will get some answers

take care honey

Love and hugs

Carol xx

ps hope you have a better day today

So sorry you’re going through this Tallulabelle. But believe me, the waiting is THE worst part, and once you know what you’re dealing with it does get much easier. Keeping my fingers crossed for you for Saturday; let us know how you get on. I really hope you have something to celebrate on your birthday!
Hugs, Caro xx

Thankyou ladies, i managed to talk the OH to go off for the day yesterday with the kids and dog and a brisk walk on the beach in Blackpool and then a bit of retail therapy!
And today i’m going to help my friend move(she rang me yesterday to tell me we cancelled the spa for a good reason!!! She’s moving a day earlier!!!) So another busy day which helps massively with the anxiety. But still feel guilty about going private and not back through the system again!? Friends don’t understand why i do and tell me the last appointment to the breast clinic took over the whole of my summer holidays and i mustn’t let it take over the birthday celebrations! Your comments fill me with encouragement to get through another day with less stress.
Thanks again to you all xxx
Tina xx

~Deb~ waves… hey Tina, lovely lady. Dont feel guilty about feeling angry, pissed off , frustated, tearful about it all, you have gone through some deep shit and still are.Though saying that we all do it espcially me! But you will get through this, this scary roller coaster of a ride. We are all here holding your hand , we won’t let go.
My husband also has his head stuck… and its so tiring emotionally having to deal with other peoples reactions, when u want to say … what about me!!!
All the best *hugs* deb xx

… oops forgot to say and happy happy Birthday !! WOOT !!

Thanks Deb
I know from reading all the posts that we all go through the frustrated and anxiety thing and not surprised that we then have to return to the docs for help!(this helps me to know i’m not losing it or been neurotic!!)
My husband lost his mum(2 days after our 4 year son was born) and sister(last year) to cancer so i think this is why his head is in the sand!
I’m in the middle of buying a business and the bank, business transfer agents and solicitors all need me functioning to give all the info needed to keep things flowing.
The kids need mummy too! :slight_smile:
Love to you all with huge respect xx