I’ve not been in here for ages. Lots of new people I see sadly.
I was diagnosed Jan 06 and finished chemo and rads Sept 06.
I feel like I’m playing the waiting game and I can’t seem to get myself into a different frame of mind. What am I waiting for? I really don’t know! It feels almost impossible to make plans for the future just in case something happens. I don’t know what the future holds. My fella says, none of us do, which of course is right but I find it irritating, although he’s just trying to help. The aches and pains I feel are a constant reminder meaning that I almost feel as if I’m waiting for IT to return.
Also, I am waiting to get my left back to normal again! Every week is a challenge. I exhaust very easily now, which means I can’t do half of what I used to. And my memory and concentration span is still limited. My friend is 10 years post chemo and she says her brain has never worked the same since!
like yourself I fininshed treatment last Sep (chemon & rads) and I could have written your post - glad that someone else has these feelings. Just want to put it all behind me and fed up with aches & pains, fatigue, hot flushes, wonky memory - all a legacy of treatment. I though when treatment was over I pick up my life where I left it pre-dx and am totalyy frustated that this is not the case. Going for MRI and Onc says I’m showing classic signs of bone mets also waiting results of genetic testing ( my mother, aunt and cousin all had bc). It just seems to me this will go on for ever. But sure you just get on with it - but nice to have a moan with someone who KNOWS what you are talking about.
Well, it’s Fri and going to spoil myself this evening, and I think you should join.
Hi Sonya and Angie
I am just a little further on than you being Dx Oct 2005 but i too could have written your post Sonya.
At the moment life is very very busy but its such a bloomin effort. I am about 2and a half stone heavier than before DX, my joints ache and I am constantly knackered.
Just been shoppin for clothes and after trying on about 12 things and buying just one baggy jumper i felt like crying. Nothing fits.
Tonight i am goin to a ceilidh but sharn’t be dancing as my back and knee wouldnt cope. Its horrendous to be like this at nearly 46.
I used to go the gym 3 times a week and walk everywhere.
I have a dreaded Onc appt on the 12th and 2 yrly mammogram on the 17th, more worry!
Like everyone with a BC Dx we plod on and try and enjoy the nice things. Going to a wedding tomorrow then i am away for our 25th Wedding Anniv and back to a meal with family and a family portrait. I never actually thought i would see my 46th birthday which is the same day as my 25th anniversary so glad i have.
Angie keeping fingers crossed you havent got bone mets.
Try and keep smiling girls we have each other to help us along.
I find that’s half the problem - that you don’t know what the “classic” symptoms are of an reoccurance or secondaries and I think that’s why it plays on your mind so blimmen much! What classic symptoms do you have angie? Just aches and pains? My thoughts are with you, good luck.
yes aches and pains in my legs, lower back and neck. It started of by a few niggly pains but then got worse - at first I put in down to normal joint pains after treatment and menopause, but they got worse and the pain can be quite excruitating at times, it was when I asked my GP for a 3rd course of antiboitics for a kidney infection that it was picked up and he told me to mention it to my onc as I was seeing here two days later. I nearly fell of the chair when onc mentioned ‘bone mets’ as I hadn’t heard of it before this and she scared the bejasus out of me.
The results for xrays the onc did there and then are inclusive so have to wait for MRI - and it’s the waiting that is the hardest.I was coming up on my one year sonce treatment finished and was doing great, now I’ve another year of waiting ahead of me for my genectic test results and just sometimes it gets me down.
But no more moaning - I;m just about to book flts to London for myself and my 18yr old daughter to hopefully get het a formal dress and maybe do a show
I might have had cancer but it sure didn’t and doesn’t have me.