A couple of weeks ago my mum was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer. It was an awful shock expecially as she has always been fit and healthy. Thankfully she is an incredibly positive and strong woman and this has made it much easier for us all.
At that point we knew it wasn’t good, but we were comforted to know that there is a good chance that she would be cured after a mastectomy and chemotherapy. Two weeks later she had an operation on her lymph nodes to check if it has spread “just in case”. We found out a week later that it has spread to the lymph nodes and now it’ll be another 2 weeks of heart and body scans until we get the results to see if it’s spread further. It felt like we had gone from the low of finding out she had cancer, to the high of being positive and knowing it could be cured, right back down to the low of knowing it had spread. From my own research I believe she is now at stage 3. I’m just so frustrated that we were told it was stage 2 and now within weeks it could be stage 4! I can’t help but feel like the doctors didn’t convey to us that there was the possibility that it had spread. I wish they told us this so that we could have prepared for it. I just can’t understand why they didn’t do all the tests first, and then tell us what stage it was at, rather than drip feeding us over the duration of over 2 months. Why don’t they do all the scans and tests first when they got the mammogram results? I know the health service is amazing, and I am probably taking out my anger where it shouldn’t be targeted, but I just want my mum to start treatment soon. She had the mammogram so long ago and her cancer is spreading. It’s another week until we get the results and it’s absolute hell thinking about what the result could be. I am so worried but I don’t want to tell my mum and dad that I’m worried because they are trying to be positive, but I think it may be because they dont realise how bad it could be. I’m so scared and I just want it to be sorted
I’m sorry for the rant. It just feels like the way I could express this.
In the meantime I feel so helpless but I want to put together a care basket as we are certain that she will start chemotherapy soon. If anyone has any tips on what I should put in it to help her with the treatment please let me know I am going to go shopping this weekend to try and take my mind off it.
Glad you found us & yes, it’s good to have a rant & vent it all.
It would be great if we could get all the answers at once, but it is usual for further investigations to be undertaken, if needed, as more info on the diagnosis comes to light.
It is not unusual for the nodes to be involved, but it does not mean the outcome is going to be any less positive.
Please be assured that treatment for bc is excellent now, with some of the best outcomes out there.
It is certainly stressful though & the recently diagnosed stage is generally the worst time, as it is a shock & then, what feels like, the interminable waiting for further results.
Sadly, there’s no magic wand in dealing with it, but taking it a stage at a time & trying not to think beyond the next appointment does help.
Do let your mum know about the forum as there is loads of support here If she would like to join in.
Oh Misshayley - such a difficult time for you, and not wanting to worry your mum and dad even more it must feel like there is no-where for you to turn. So it is good you have found this forum - ranting is not only recommended when needed, it is almost compulsory under some circumstances - never be afraid to come on here and say whatever you need to get off your chest. I understand your frustration about the different stages of diagnosis and how awful it must be to be plunged down into despair when you had been feeling optimistic - all i can say is they tend to just tell you the results of things as they go along, rather than worst-case scenario, and of course the new scans may well show that it hasn’t spread, but has just stayed in the lymph nodes - but that doesn’t stop the worry does it…? Probably not a good idea to Google too much - info on this site or Macmillan tends to be most accurate and up to date. I can’t advise re what is good for chemo as I didn’t have to have it, but I’m sure there will be a lot of good suggestions from people on here who have had it.
There is a confidential helpline on this site that you may want to use if you want to speak to a real person - sometimes posts, though helpful, are just not enough. I’m sure you will be the most amazing support to your mum as she travels on this unlooked-for road. Look after yourself and keep using this site as and when you need to. xxx
Thank you all for your replies. I really appreciate all of your kind words! I will just try to be as supportive as I can be and hopefully this coming Friday will be the end of the bad news for a while :)
I am going to go shopping this weekend to try and take my mind off it.