Never thought I’d need to be back on this site.
I had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy 17 years ago, and as all seemed sorted, just got on with life. Very shocked to discover lump in same breast last year, which was also malignant. No choice but to have MX, which wasn’t so bad as feared as I had a recon at the same time. So relieved to be told I didn’t need chemo (this was a huge fear), and also that bisphosphonates weren’t needed (didn’t like the sound of them much either). Again, got on with life, back to the gym and playing golf. Expected that on next visit to surgeon we’d be talking about tidying up the recon and lifting the other side to match etc, and I was comfortable with that.
Found a lump recently which was very near the site of last year’s - Oncologist thought it nothing to worry about, but as it didn’t go away, had it checked out. So exactly 1 year and 3 days from last year’s bombshell, I was told the cancer is back again. I know they can never give guarantees, but hell, 3rd time??? I’ve been told chemo wouldn’t have prevented this and that best case scenario is that it is just localised, so would only need an excision to remove.I’m having a CT, MRI and Mammo tomorrow, then it’s back to the waiting for test results etc. - you’ll all know how horrible that is, just trying to get through the days.
Meanwhile, my mind is racing, what if it has spread elsewhere on this side, what about the other breast or anywhere else in my body?? Will the subject of the dreaded chemo or bisphosphonates come up again??
Don’t know whether I’m right to think about the worst now and drive myself demented, or hang on to the hope that it’s just local, but could then be badly disappointed. My lovely other half is being v supportive, but he’s feeling the stress again as well and I don’t want to burden him with all my fears.
I’m not expecting any solutions, but it has helped me to let off steam. Thanks for listening!! xx