Diagnosed last June de novo with suspected lung nodules, started Enhertu and pertuzumab and have had significant response. My PET in January showed breast lesion and all nodules metabolically resolved. I went back to work February 1 which has helped me mentally. I thought I was doing better but as the year approaches of my diagnosis, I am feeling the anxiety, depression, PTSD again. I don’t want a summer like last summer, I want to feel normal,
I was happy with my PET results but I keep thinking how someday it will be active again. I have a hard time thinking positive. I have kept my diagnosis to myself from my co workers as I do not want pity, I manage 25 staff and I can do my job and don’t want the stigma.
How do I keep moving forward? I feel so envious of people not dealing with this, anger, like still the why me. How does everyone cope?
Deb_M 
have you thought about a bcn moving forward course either the in person one or one of the virtual ones? If this isn’t for you there is the someone like me option if you might find it useful to talk to someone who can share their own personal experience of things they’ve found helped them I think each year the 
of what happened becomes heightened around the date of diagnosis and annual mammo times, for me personally I know it’s the case, but as I’ve said in previous posts, it took 9 months of precious life from me and for me ensuring I live each day to the max since finishing treatment is what I’ve chosen to do and for me spirit and soul equine therapy helped me too as Sarah the lady who owns and runs it, is a TNBC survivor herself so understood completely everything sending big and you will find your way I’m sure others will pop on with what’s helped them too 
Shi xx
Hi All,
Unfortunately the someone like me support is only for people with a primary diagnosis and not secondaries.
I found this out last year when i applied.
There are BCN face to face support groups for SBC, they are regional, so contact and find your nearest. Helps me a lot
Deb-M please accept my apologies the thread showed up as practical matters to me not as living with secondary bc. I will speak to the mods about this glitch on the forum. I apologise if my response appeared insensitive, that was not my intention Shi xx
I just passed my 1 year anniversary and did the counselling sessions with Macmillan/Bupa, which I found really helpful. Wishing you all the best!
Hi @Deb_M,
I’m really sorry that you’re having such a hard time and struggling, it might help you to try and talk some of your feelings through with someone. Please know that our nurses are always on hand to talk about everything and anything that you might have on your mind. You can reach them on 0808 800 6000.
You’ll find lots of great information on this page about living with secondary breast cancer, including resources that have advice on how to cope with the emotions you’re feeling: Living with secondary breast cancer | Breast Cancer Now
Our Living With secondary breast cancer services also offer face-to-face and online support, as well as online speakers and videos which you might find relevant and helpful. You can find out more here and also see if there is a face to face group in your local area: Living with Secondary Breast Cancer | Breast Cancer Now
I really hope you find some of these suggestions useful, and that you’re back on track to feeling more yourself soon.
Alice
Hi Deb,
I am in a similar position to you, I had a good scan January 2023 following some intensive chemo, then a not so good scan September 2023 and another good scan February this year after radiotherapy. I know the cancer will be back but I don’t know when, and that’s hard to live with.
I think it is perfectly normal to have times when you feel more anxious, or angry, or sad, or “why me”, or frustrated, or whatever you might feel at any given time (and sometimes a combination of some or all of those). It’s ok to feel those things.
I have counselling and it helps, but doesn’t take those feelings away.
I have friends I can talk to (to some extent) and that helps too.
I try to focus on one day at a time and to treat myself well, doing things I enjoy when I can and reminding myself I deserve it after what I’ve been through and am still going through.
You’re not alone in feeling how you do.
Lisa x
Sorry to read your messages. I’ve been “living with” it for 4 years now and it’s still a rollercoaster and largely one in my mind! It is such a major thing and can be all consuming. I do a lot of different things to keep myself happy. Counselling, mindfulness lessons, cancer groups and generally treating myself. I hope you find something that works for you.