thought i was too young

hi i was diagnosed with breast cancer last week.I am 29 years old and have two beautiful girls one s coming up to 3 years and the other is 6 months.went for results on my own as i was positive that it was something to do with me breast feeding.i was that shocked when they told me i started laughing then the tears came!have my op next week to take lump out and lymph nodes and am trying to keep a brave face but am actually very worried about after the op how i will look after my girls.i have a lot of help and support i am very lucky but i am their mother and feel i would be letting them down if i cant not know yet how serious thecancer is so am keeping my fingers crossed that it has not spread.thought i was too young to get it.

Dear elliott

Welcome to the forums, I am sorry to read of your recent diagnosis, I am sure that you will receive lots of support and information from your fellow forum members very soon. I also wanted to let you know that Breast Cancer Care have published a Resource Pack, it has been designed for anyone newly diagnosed with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and various treatments, it is available via the following link or by contacting the helpline: You may find our helpline useful to call during this time for more information, they can also give information about our other support services and also offer support and a ‘listening ear’. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 Monday - Friday, 9am - 5pm, Saturday, 9am - 2pm. I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes


Sorry you have had to join us, I was dx 19 December 2007 age 42 had a lumpectomy and 5 lymph nodes removed on the 10 Janaury 2008, the operation was not painful at all just a little uncomfortable and I was told not to carry anything heavier than a kettle for a couple of weeks, I dont have small children mine are grown up now but surprisgly take more looking afer now then they did when they were younger as they are untidy little devils and for some strange reasons need mum to do everything for them, I did manage to do most things just did not use my left arm for heavy things. There are lots of mums on here with small children who I am sure will give you lots of support, good luck with the op.

Debra x

Hi Elliott,

I am also 29 and was dx with low grade DCIS on Xmas Eve of all times. I was shocked too as I was convinced the lump was nothing at our age, I only got it checked out as I could see the worry on my hubbies face about it. So far I’ve had excisional biopsy and a re excisional. The re excisisional managed to remove all the DCIS however because of my family history with BC and being very small chested I have opted for a double mastectomy and am currently waiting for a date for that. Unlike you I do not have children to worry about (as I had failed fertility treatment a yr ago, which now in someways is a relief even though I was devastated at the time). It is great that you have plenty of support around you, I am also lucky in this way and it really does make a difference. Im afraid I cannot comment on ure op as I did not have any lymph nodes removed, but I had surprisingly very little pain afterwards (and I have a very low pain threshold). What day do you have ure op nxt week?

Take Care


hi everyone just want to say thanks for welcoming me and talking about your experiences.its actually helped expressing to you all (people who i dont know) it would be harder for me to do this with my nearest and operation is next thurs 13th march.I have been very lucky with my hospital they have been brilliant and have kept things moving quickly.i wish you all the best and will keep visiting this site(as i am new today). I can not believe how many women are on here!

thanks again

emma(elliott) x

Hi Emma just to say I am thinking of you and good luck for next week. You will still be shocked as I think everyone is it is always someone else, or so you think. You take all the help that’s offered as a lot of family and friends feel that that is the best way to help you through this.Let them help. I am 15 months down the line and it is all a blurr. Love Eileen

Hi Elliot, melanie
i am sorry that you have to join the club no one wants to be in. I thought I was young to get bc (38) but 29 is very young. I have had a wle and get full results tomorrow. Good luck with your treatment everyone. I was dx on 14th Feb so all still a bit of a shock to me too.

best wishes and keep well Rachy7

Hi Elliot & MelanieLH
I’m Karen, sorry you have had to us, but welcome to a friendly supportive site.
I was diagnosed aged 43 in jan., 04
I had a lumpectomy and 7 nodes removed, I was very restricted in my movement for a few weeks after surgery…though it is important to do the post op’ exercises to help improve movement, I would advice you to take all the support and help with children etc., that is offered.
wishing you both well with your surgery and treatments.

karen x

Hi folks,

I am 34 and I thought it was too young too. I am half way through chemo and doing ok, so good luck to you all and keep smiling. I am still staying positive and can almost say after a mastectomy, recon and 3 ops, 4 doses of chemo and several setbacks, that i feel it could have been worse. I have a lovely family, great friends and have been back at work during chemo where i have great colleagues. I hope you all get through it ok too.

Love ruth

Hi Emma,

I’m 37 and was still breastfeeding my 1 year old when I found the lumps. I was diagnosed with DCIS on Jan 23 and had sentinel node biopsy the following week followed by mastectomy on 8 Feb. Both my kids managed having me out of action for a few weeks. I was really scared I would be letting them down too, especially as I’m on my own with them, but they coped and are still coping. It will be tough but you will get through it, and your kids will help you do that without even knowing!

Take care all

Love Kirsten

just to add, was diagnosed last august , also have two girls . At the time the youngest was nearly 2 . I was in hospital for about 5 days with WLE and lymph node removal . I was also very anxious about not being able to cope after the op but I did what i thought were quite rigorous exercises with the physio . When I came out I had a lot more movement than I thought I would have.

The day after I came out of hospital I went to Legoland , took it easy and was fine ! My hubby pushed the buggy and I had my sister helping out but I was there as mum which was the main thing after being away from them for a week. I was able to push the pushchair gently and within a couple of weeks I was driving. By the way I’m not a complete nut and wouldnt have planned to go there but we had tickets for a postman pat show and as it turned out it was a really good thing to do and show the children that I was still able to do fun stuff.

I have complete movement in my arm now (and have just finished chemo)


hi everyone

thanks for all your feedback its made me much more positive.had down day today think its slowly starting to sink in after i had my bone scan few hours ago and that this is just the beginning of my journey.its good to hear that mothers can still cope as i am not a person that can ask or accept much help.i hate it i am so stubborn!all the women on here are so brave!!

x x

Hi Emma
I also have children 2 boys aged 7 & 10 and to be honest they coped great with all the changes that went on at home-better than I thought they would. I was diagnosed last June - it’s a bit of a shock isn’t it? I was 39 and ended up having a double mastectomy and lymph node removal, 6 x FEC Chemo that I finished in Nov, and now on Tamoxifen for next 5 years. The best advice I can give is to take as much help as you can especially for the first few weeks after surgery, easy for me to say but like you I have always been the one doing everything and I found it extremely hard excepting help. The surgery was fine they let me out after 2 days and I could drive after about 4/5 weeks. Do the exercises - they will improve your ability and movement. And don’t be scared to let the children see you … your still mum and they love you no matter what. My boys had some bath crayons and both drew faces on my chest using the scars as smiley faces and thought it was real funny thankfully they are used to seeing me as I am now and think nothing of it - your children are smaller so I’m sure they will be ok - kids are pretty resilient (I am thinking about reconstruction but haven’t made up my mind yet). Anyway good luck for the 13th I will be thinking of you.

hi everyone back for quick update.i ave had my op and everything went very well i am pleased to say. recoverd well too whch has helped me.have been back to docs and was told that the cancer has not spread which is also a relief but i have to have chemo and radiotherapy which i was not expecting. i tested negative to have hormone therapy.still bit n the dark as to how serious cancer is a my mind went blank when i was told to have chemo.have got oncology appointment tues 8th so will prob find out more is everyone else coping and have any of you had rough time with chemo. was told i would need six lots although that has not helped me understand a lot as like i said i went blank.hope your all ok

emma x x

Hi Emma

I am not young (49 yesterday!) but remember having a caesarian at the age of 29. There were complications and infection etc etc yet I got over it so quickly. Recently, I have had a WLE, very small operation and yet it has taken me so much longer to recuperate. Although you are very young to have BC, your age in terms of recovery is definitely on your side. Aslo If you need radiotherapy and chemotherapy, you will cope with that far better than an older person and your girls are so young they wont be affected by your treatment in any way psychologically. Never think that you are letting them down by being ill. Children are so resilient. If you need to feed them the odd ready meal etc, it wont harm them and if the house is in a mess, they wont care. We put so much pressure on young mothers today expecting them to do everything exactly right or their children will turn out badly, it is so wrong. At the moment, you need to look after yourself.

All the best


Hi Emma

Glad everything went well with the op. I had lumpectomy and nodes removed in Jan 08 - make sure you keep doing the physio. I get days when I don’t feel up to it and then I can definitely feel stiffness under the arm creeping back.

One of the first things my breast care nurse said to me after I was diagnosed was that women with young families often deal with bc really well - simply because our lives are busy being filled up with the day-to-day job of looking after young children. There’s very little time left for brooding. That’s not to say I don’t have bad days (or more to the point - nights!) but I am constantly amazed at how little time I spend worrying about my bc - or the future. There’s not much time for black thoughts when you’re being asked to do 3 different things at once!

I also have 2 girls (although older - age 8 & 5) and they have absolutely amazed me with their resilience to all that is going on around them. They very quickly adapt to anything new (quicker than me anyway) - from Mummy being in hospital to all her hair falling out.

I really hope the rest of your treatment goes smoothly - my tip for any hospital appt is to write down EVERY question you think of between now and the next appt and take them all along with you. I have asked some really silly questions in the past 3 months and never once been made to feel stupid for asking them. It’s your treatment, make sure you are happy that you know everything you need to know.

All the best.

Cal x

hi again thanks for your responses. have had oncology appointment and now understand a bit more. am grade 3 triple neg which is why i have to have the chemo aswell as the on a strong dose of chemo which i still do not know when i start am waiting to hear back.i just want to get started now and move things on as i know i am trying to adjust myself already but its too early(if you understand what i mean).i am so anxious and worry aout my girls so much.when my hair falls out will my baby recognise me i am feeling a little down about that and the fact that i cannnot sleep is driving me insane.i also think it has finally sunk into my partner and alhough he is sad and worried i worry that he will look else where. i know this sounds so negative especially as i am such a positive person i dont understand what has got in to me!i think it also to so with the fact that i could end up infertile and would love to have another baby soon i can wait til after the treatment but if it makes me infertile will be so gutted.sorry for moaning prob the first time i have let myself out in the open for a long time but feel much better just for typing it down thank you all

emma x x

Hi emma,
i had a grade 3 triple neg tumour as well, had chemo which they told me would stop my periods, it didn’t, i’ve carried on with them throughout, i finished my chemo in dec. so its not always the case that it affects your fertility, however i was offered the option of being seen at the fertility clinic so i could have had egg harvesting if i wanted to prior to treatment starting. maybe this is something to ask your onc about before you start treatment. don’t worry about your baby not recognising you because that won’t happen, you are so much more than just how you look with your hair, your baby will know you instantly from your smell & voice and will adjust just as your other children will so much better than you to your hair loss, children are amazing in that respect. wishing you all the very best with your treatment, its not a walk in the park by any means, but its doable, and you will have good, fun family days as well the not so good days.
best wishes, rivergirl xx