hi everyone i am knew to this site today.on the 29th of feb was diagnosed with breast cancer. i am 29 years old and have two beautiful daughters both of which i breast fed.i was positive that the lump was to do with me breast feeding my 6 month old so as you can imagine i was in total shock when she told me it was cancer.i still dont think it has quite sunk in yet as everyone around me has taken it worse than me.i have a lot of family and friends giving me support and my partner too but i am so worried that after my op i wont be able to cope with my 2 half year old and my baby. i have my op on 13th march removing my lump and lymph nodes followed by radiotherapy and hormone therapy.still do not know if cancer has spread thats the news i am dreading!thought i was too young!
Hi Elliott
I just wanted to write to say you’re not alone. I was diagnosed feb 07 and was 28 (am now 29 too!) Had a mastectomy, node clearance, chemo and rads. now having herceptin until Sept. What horrible leap year news for you…
I also found that it didn’t sink in for me for quite a long time. Everyone around me was so keen to support me that I got swept along by them really and it took a while for me to take a step back and realise how I felt about it all. Everyone needed me to be positive and ok with it, as they were very upset. I managed that for a bit and then crashed once I was into my chemo. Don’t put any pressure on yourself. This is so very new and raw. Once you have had your op and they can sit down and outline exactly what you’re dealing with you’ll be able to take it a step at a time and you will get through it.
I am not a mum - I’m so sad for you that this bl88dy disease has come at a time when you should just be able to enjoy your beautiful family. But - they are taking it out and will thrown everything at it that they can. I was in hospital for 4 days with the op. You will feel pretty fragile, but tell people when you need help. Don’t be hard on yourself and shout up when you need support. They will take their lead from you and you just need to be kind to yourself and take it a step at a time.
Hope you’re ok - keep in touch
x
Hi Elliott
I was diagnosed in Dec 05, at 37, my 2 kids were 8 and 6 at the time. I was pretty numb at first, it really was a struggle to take everything in as suddenly after the wait for results which seemed to take forever hospital visits and telephone calls were never ending, I felt like I was on autopilot.
I had mastectomy and Full node clearance, my movement in my right shoulder was limited for several weeks (took 6 weeks to feel properly safe and in control of my car) but this was more down to the FNC, so I would imagine you will need help with your baby and toddler and basic housework, I couldn’t even shake out washing from the machine, luckily my husband was on his christmas shutdown so I had help close by.
As for spread your medical team will tell you more as they find out more, usually the most information comes after surgery when you will also get to met your Oncologist.
You are young and there are others using this site diagnosed in their twenties too and with babies so you will get more reples soon.
Best wishes Debbie
Dear Elliott - What wise words from LizaLou and Debbie. I am so sorry that you have been diagnosed with breast cancer, but really glad that you have found this site as you will get such a lot of support from other women in the same situation as you who are a bit further down the line with treatment and will be able to understand what you are going through and let you know how they have coped - the really tough times as well as those when you are feeling bright. You must be on such a roller coaster right now, and as you say there is a lot of pressure to be OK, as that is what those who love you really want for you. Much of the time I am sure you will be, but at other times you just need to let yourself have a good cry and grieve for the happy, carefree life that you were living before this came barging into your life. I am sure you will get lots of offers of help and support and this really is the time to accept them all, it’s hard waiting for your op, but a good time to “gather your resources”. The very best of luck to you, and do keep in touch here. We will all be thinking of you as you go through the coming weeks and months. Big hug. Sarah x
hi again want to say thank you so much for your responses they have helped by you sharing your experiences and your support.i really dont think i have sat down and thought about what is going to happen over the next few months, but listening to your stories have somewhat made me realise that it is going to happen and that i can get through it.i seem to be doing ok at the moment not sure if that will change by next thurs though i will prob be a quivering wreck lol!
thanks again its good to see so many women express and tell their stories as i know it gives help and support to others.its certainly helped me! THANKYOU
all the best to all of you will be back on site soon
emma(elliott)
x x
Hi Emma,
I’m 34 and I was diagnosed on Jan 2nd, had a WLE and axilla sampling on Jan 10th, like you I have two children aged 5.5 and 2.5 and found it all very mind blowing, the shock is the biggest thing and waiting for test results did’'nt do me any good!! I’m so pleased you have found this site, and as the rest have said, YOU ARE NOT ALONE and YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS,there are so many younger women like you and I who have done it already and they are a real inspiration!! Take one step at a time, I was dreading surgery as i’d never had a op in my life before, you can have a pre-med to calm your nreves before you go to threatre - I did!!
I’m currently waiting to see the onc on march 20th, but it looks like i need chemo and rads, which I’m terrified about, but as my surgeon said after your op the disease is gone and any treatment is precautionary, anyway I will do anything to beat this and see my children grow up.
Please keep in touch, all the best, thinking about you,
Love and hugs,
Paula xxx
Hi Emma,
I too was DX in Dec 07 age - 34. i have 3 kids 1,4 & 7. Thinks in life were going so well and POW this Bas**** comes and sh*** on you. I had a WLE and then a further WIDER LE with node clearance. The hardest for me was accepting whats happening and also not been able to pick up the little one.
I am now on my 2nd dose of chemo and so far I am coping and from somewhere somehow we all find the strength to fight this because we have to not only for us but for our young family. you have to be strong and believe you can do this we all can and then your more than half way there.
As for your results the onc will discuss this with you but if you feel you don’t understand anything or need further clarification don’t be afraid to ASK!.
Take care
Sukes
Hi, Emma,
I am 36 and have a four year old son. Was diagnosed on the 27th of December 2007 with a large right breast carcinoma. I am having my chemo before the op, as since I am unfortunately a BRCA 1 mutation carrier, I will have to have a complete bilateral mastectomy with an immediate reconstruction followed by removing the ovaries shortly after. I will do anything to survive this for my son and to do as much as I can to prevent it from spreading. Just had my third course of chemo and broke down a bit. Was going OK up until now for the sake of family and friends. I am ever so lucky to have my mum living with me at the moment-she picked up all the house work and looking after my boy for me-I would not have managed without her.
The radiotherapy is not as bad as chemo-my friend is going through it now and she keeps working morning, while having radiotherapy in the afternoons. I hope that your surgery shows that it did not spread anywhere.
Best of luck!
Take care
Irina.
I too have a 3 yr old and a 9 month old who was 6 months old at the time of diagnosis. I am 33 now (32 when diagnosed) and possible a brac carrier as v.strong family history. I also had just finished breast feeding and i have had two ops and start chemo this friday and don’t ask me how you juggle babies and making milk feeds and doing pre-school runs and making dinnres and keep house ok-ish but with taking as much help as you can and a huge dose of will and a large dose of bursting love for your children you actually do ok. Try not to look at the bigger picture - after my chemo i have rads then bilateral masectomy and gene testing and all sorts plus i am triple negative so that scares me but if i look ahead at all that with my darling daughter and baby son that i so want to just enjoy i get overwhelmed but if i just stay focused on the actual stage of the treatment that i am on and lap up each delicious moment of my childrens development of characters somehow I am managing to keep my chin up and its everyone else around me that can’t cope as well so think of your children as an added blessing in all this as without having to get up every morning and do nappies and mop up milk spillages i doubt i would’ve kept so busy mentally & physically thus coping this well.
What doesn’t break you makes you I say…xx
hi everybody hope your all ok.just wanted to update on my op which went very well and recovering well too thank god.went back for results on wed and cancer has not spread but i have to have chemo now as well as radiotherapy. i am nagative for hormone treatment.am really gutted about the chemo as i thought i had escaped it. i know that sounds selfish but i worry more for my kids i hope i dont feel so bad for them.anyway got my oncology appointment this tues(8th) so will try and understand a bit more of why i have to have the treatment they recommended.although it is in early stage still not sure what grade i am so i am still bit anxious bout where i am with it all.
just want to ask how everyone has dealt with the chemo and radiotherapy any info will help
thanks
emma x x
Hi emma,
well done you for getting through your surgery so positively, first hurdle over. I was diagnosed last may with a triple negative tumour (not responsive to hormones or her 2), it was small and i had a lumpectomy & sentinel node biopsy which showed it had not spread anywhere which was a blessing, however it was a grade 3 tumour, the sort that grow quickest so they advised me to have chemo & radio. I like you felt pretty gutted at the thought of the treatment plan but here i am nearly 11 months later back at work & with it all becoming a memory. I was on the tact 2 trial so had 4 doses of intravenous epirubicin 3 weeks apart & then 4 lots of tablets called xeloda which i had to take for 2 weeks followed by 1 week off. The chemo nurses were just great.The epirubicin took a couple of days to kick in & then i felt really tired & peculiar for 3-5 days & just rested up or slept, i don’t have children, but friends helped to cook for me etc, & you will probably need help with childcare & housework for that 1st week in each cycle. i was not sick once but did feel nauseous, the tablets they gave me helped alot & i nibbled on savoury stuff at regular intervals. i had heartburn which i didn’t like but again they gave me omeprazole tablets which did the trick fantastically. the antisickness tablets gave me constipation so took senokot to sort that. also had headaches so took paracetamol. never have i taken so many tablets in such a short time!!! the xeloda tablets were easier, i didnt feel as overwhelmingly tired or as sick but they did make my hands & feet sore so i had to lots of moisturising and cut down on the walks around my local national trust park.
The hair loss part of chemo was hard for me, i lost about 85% of it in one go about 2 weeks after my first epi and the rest just gradually thinned out over the next 9 weeks. It grew back quite quickly tho once i stopped the epi & started the xeloda. Some people advised me to have it all cut off before i lost it but i couldn’t bear the thought of that. It was straight before but has grown back curly which i’m having a bit of a struggle to accept, everyone else thinks it looks fab but i’m not sure so my plan is to grow it longer than i had it before & see what happens.
The radio was ok, bit scary at first as the machines are quite big, but you are not surrounded by them too much & the radiographers are lovely, the choice of music wasn’t bad either & the treatment time is only a few minutes once they’ve made sure you are comfy in the right position. my skin got a bit red & a little sore towards the end of the 4 weeks but again copious moisturising was the order of the day & it all settled down pretty quickly once the treatment was finished. I didn’t wear a bra throughout the radio just a vest top underneath my clothes, i found this more comfy.
So overall as so many people testify to on this site it is doable. take it one day at a time, don’t think just because you have a bad morning the whole day will be like that, it may well not be, i had mornings where i felt fairly lousy but then felt better later on in the day. Don’t expect too much of yourself, try not to be too strong for everyone else, accept offers of help & kindness & be kind to yourself. little kit to make chemo easier should include, lovely books, pamper products,favourite films, gorgeous chocolate for when you feel up to it, supply of what of fancy chilled drinks in the fridge, you’ll be prepared for all eventualities then!
don’t be afraid to write down questions in advance i find your mind goes a bit blank when you are at the appts, i wrote down the answers too so i could remember them when i got home. stick to this website & avoid web surfing willy nilly, its not a good plan as you end up scaring yourself when you don’t need to.
hope this helps & doesn’t overwhelm you too much. wishing you all the best, keep us posted, i’ll say a prayer for you that the appt on the 8th goes well.
best wishes, rivergirl x.
I have posted this for new user Jo,
Jo, Facilitator
Hi Emma
I have been visiting this site since August 07 but this is my first entry - your story sounds just like mine.
I was diagnosed in August 07 with an 18mm Grade 3 tumour in my right armpit. At the time I was 28 and had two boys - the oldest was 26 months, the youngest 11 months. I too thought it was a harmless lump due to breast feeding or mastitis.
I had a WLE and sentinal node biopsy in September 07 and believe I was one of the ‘lucky ones’ as it had only effected one lymph node. Chemo started in November 07. I had 3xFEC and 3xTaxotere. I am currently having Radio (7 out of 20 so far!) and should be all finished by the end of April.
I totally understand the fear and uncertainty that you are feeling at the moment. I am coming out of the end of my treatment (never thought the day would come) and I still feel it every day.
As far as Chemo is concerned my main advice would be to keep a really open mind as to how it will effect you as every one reacts differently to the drugs. It is a bit like all those birthing stories you were forced to listen to when expecting your first! I won’t lie to you and tell you that this is going to be easy, it’s not. It is also really difficult having to juggle pre-school, nappies, meal times, entertainment…(list goes on and on!) when you are feeling rubbish. It doesn’t help when people tell you to rest as much as possible - have they ever had families?! But, on the flip side, my children made me get out of bed in a morning and never allowed me to feel sorry for myself. I firmly believe that they have pulled me through this.
Chemo is hard but it really is managable. You can’t let it be anything else when you are relied on. But be good to yourself and accept any help offered from friends and family. My only other advice is to start looking at hats/scarves/wigs etc sooner rather then later. I waited till my hair fell out before ordering and it took four weeks! www.headcovers.com was a good one.
I have only had seven Radio sessions so far so am probably not the best person to advise. However, I’m not finding it too bad. My skin is holding up well.
I’m so sorry that you have found yourself on here. As a 20-something-year old I have found this to be a very, very lonely disease. I really hope Tuesday goes well for you. Please let us know how it goes.
Jo H x