It just doesn’t make any sense at all to me … and it seems to be getting us younger and younger. It has taken so so much from me (career, fertility, relationship, future) that i don’t think I will ever stop searching. X
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@sbee I’m so sorry, it must be so, so hard to have this when you are young. I’ve been thinking at lot about this thread and I think maybe for me being much older makes it easier to be philosophical about it happening. I’m really sorry if I’ve come across as patronising and wish you so much peace xxx
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Not at all - I guess I often just don’t know where to turn as it’s not something any of my peers are going through & I am limited on a support system as my friends are all bringing up young families etc. It is so so lonely. I used to be so driven, creative & free spirited. Now this just consumes me. X
Oh @sbee that sounds so incredibly hard xx I too hate the all-consuming nature of it, all I seem to do is think about myself in one way or another, I really can’t bear that!
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Likewise! It isn’t me at all .. but I also find it unbearably (is that correct? See, i cannot even spell anymore) painful listening to others ‘problems’ & how happy they all are. As awful as that sounds. I live in hell daily.
Luckily I don’t see anyone except my husband and my adult children lol! Friends who I thought I was close to have largely disappeared apart from the odd brief message of ‘thinking of you’ 
Funnily enough, 3 people I originally knew more distantly are the ones who have really come through for me and regularly listen to me and mop me up. It’s probably a good thing I’m not at work because I’m sure I’d be annoyed with the things people moan about!!
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Oh yes, the ones that vanish. I have had that too. I am finding the ‘after’ somehow harder. All my friends have turned into health freaks too.
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I spent years wondering why I got breast cancer 13 years ago and did everything after that to be healthy. And this past January I got a different breast cancer in my other breast (TNBC). I have no genetic or familial link and the chances of contralateral breast cancer is very small. I feel very unlucky but also agree that cancer is a random beast that strikes many people in different parts of their bodies not just breasts.
Going to beat this one too and get on with life. 
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@sbee did you know breast cancer now have a young women’s support online or in person group in their Moving Forward section? Sounds like you really need some emotional support & a space to ask that question out loud. And it’s ok to do that. And not get the usual ‘keep positive’ responses from well meaning friends.
I managed to keep a lid on it most the time, but occasionally I look at friends & am so jealous of them & their normal lives, & sad that’s it me & not them. I could never tell them that though as I think they’d quickly back off.
So, I tell myself that cancer is the new flu - most people will get it at some stage of their lives, & mine arrived last year & it’s taking ages to get over. It’s the only way I can cope.
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I feel exactly the same with friends… and even my family at times which is awful & i am consumed by guilt for destroying my parents retirement. Many friends avoid me now i feel. X
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The cancer docs definitely focus entirely on the medical side not the psychological or emotional - probably due to guidance issued to make sure standards of breast cancer diagnosis and treatment are standardised across the NHS and are based on clinical evidence that is scientifically proven.
There have been rogue breast surgeons and others who have benefitted from patients who are anxious about breast cancer - worried well and confirmed breast cancer patients alike.
The clinical evidence is scientifically tested - breast cancer cells can be identified under electron microscopes - in fact I went to see the person who identified my cancer and drew a sketch of her with her lovely microscope.
I like scented candles and some health foods but I do not think they act at a molecular level to cure cancer. Lay off the booze, keep a healthy weight and reduce meat and fat in your diet but do not give up surgery as it is still the mainstay of breast cancer treatment.
I loathed it through my several operations but I would sign up for it again despite the horrible psychological effects I have suffered. I am still resigned to scientifically proved evidence based treatments first and foremost.
Seagulls
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@sbee just to add, you could ask your BCN about cancer counselling. About 3 weeks ago I broke down at a wound check, and the lovely BCN referred me to the hospital cancer counselling. I had a call yesterday with an appointment next week. I thought a 4 week turn around wasn’t too bad, considering the normal wait for MH support.
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@dilly I’m still waiting from my referral in September when I was diagnosed! Surgeon made that one immediately & oncology have followed up recently but still nothing. I know the NHS is under pressure but active treatment will be done before I get to see anyone!
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Thanks all. Having a low day today - think the chemo has caused menopause and I feel horrendous. There doesn’t seem to be any guidance for this from my team either? I have no prosthetic either despite surgery in august. I am so tired of it all and trying to do this all alone
X
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That’s rubbish about your prosthesis @sbee x I have to wait until after radiotherapy for mine, but 6/7 months is completely unacceptable. Have the BCNs been any help?
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I think they are just so overloaded.. have an appointment in may ! Eek. I haven’t been able to do much today!
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Dear sbee the wait is too long and I hope they can bring it forward. Good luck.
Seagulls
Wings x for you
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That was brought forward… 
9 months since surgery. Has anyone else experienced the same?
i feel horrendous today. Had a period last month but feel i have hit the menopause. Cannot stop sweating, or get up and am meant to go to work. X
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@sbee so sorry you’re feeling rough on a work day. Are you able to have a slower start and go in/finish later?
Employers are meant to make reasonable adjustments so please talk to them if you are struggling.
You can use the cancer card as they can’t flog you to death!
Seagulls
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