Hi everyone
I discovered a lump back in febuary but due to my phobia on hospitals n needles gettin tests has become a struggle on many fronts for me. Im due to go for a pre op assessment on 10th june with surgery to remove the lump on 14th june depends if all goes ok on the 1oth. My fear is so great i need sedative just to get me to go to any hospital appointments now so we are trying our best to work this out. They have decided as so scared to remove the entire lump rather than maybe have to go back again.
Im not sure how long after the lump is removed i will have any results yet so case wait and see.
Problem i have cancer is in my dads side very strongly with my gran having terminal cancer, 1 cousin breast cancer and another had cervical cancer early so they whipped everything out for her which thankfully worked with no treatment needed. Top it all off in march my mother in law has been diagnosed with stage 3b lung cancer and is currently having cemo but her 3rd session has been cancelled due to low blood count.
As a family we are trying to put that brave face on but im sick of saying im ok for others sakes, i want to scream shout at the world but yet i dont feel i can or should do.
My mother in law in all her glory announced she has bought an outfit for mine n my partners wedding so we better get married this year while she is well enough… im happy to do that partner well he went so red n bashful it was too funny. See i have been with him now 12 years but he legally is married but they split before me so need rush that through if we can but he uses it as a shield i guess not to get married again. So think we should gang up on him make his mums wishes come true 
Sorry seems bit pointless post just feeling very lost right now