Too scared to tell anyone

Hi, I have been lurking on this forum for a few weeks now  as I found an indentation in my right breast and slight nipple inversion. Having googled everything I have become increasingly worried and stressed by it and have imagined every possible scenario. I eventually plucked up the courage to see my GP yesterday and she could see indent and was not sure if she could feel a lump or not. She is referring me to the breast clinic and I should be seen within 2 weeks. However, I haven’t told anyone. I feel as if I am holding a grenade which could blow my family apart and I don’t want to worry them until I have to. I know my husband would be supportive and understanding but I can’t bear the thought of telling him, my 2 sons or my mum who has been through breast cancer herself.  I am planning to go to the clinic on my own but I am not sure how much longer I can hold it all together and keep up the pretence everything is ok. I have a bad feeling about it all and feel constantly sick and worried. I am back to work tomorrow and I am dreading it. Any advice on how to handle this would be much appreciated. 

Thanks 

So sorry Cs66 to hear what you are going through, many of us have been there and know that I t isn’t nice.  Really really hoping that yours won’t be the dreaded BC. A really high proportion of lumps are found to be benign so don’t give up hope. I’m normally quite a private person about my health, but this time I had told my sisters and a couple of friends about the ‘lump’ and in fact it then made it easier for me and them when I told them the bad news about the positive diagnosis - it wasn’t such a shock for them, and I didn’t struggle to bring up the subject as they all knew I had my appointment that day. If you really can’t tell your husband or mum, do you have one friend you could confide in? If not, then this forum at least will be a godsend, so many lovely ladies full of advice and making you laugh from time to time with their daft antics! I am now 2 weeks post mastectomy and waiting for my final results, I have to say that the waiting is actually harder than going through the treatment (so far) for me.  One other thing, you may already know this, but at your first appointment you will have various scans and probably a biopsy and won’t get a definitive diagnosis until you go back again for your second appointment. I went to the first one alone and was fine (my husband was too unwell to accompany me), but I did take a friend to the next one for support and also as an extra set of ears because as soon as you get the news (especially if it is bad) your mind goes into overdrive and you don’t hear or take in the next things they say.  Anyway, enough rambling from me. Fingers and toes crossed that you are one of the lucky ones and it is all benign. Thinking of you, and do remember to let us know how you get on. Chris xx

Ah love please tell your husband, mine would have been devastated had I tried to keep it From him,I slept on it for one night after finding a lump but just knew I had to tell him and he was fab, he took over completely and it made things so much easier to deal with, we didn’t tell anyone else until i had a definite diagnosis but there is no way I could have gone through those early weeks keeping it to myself.

like you my mum had breast cancer and sadly we lost her 12 years ago so my experience of it wasn’t good but it’s also what Sent me straight to the Dr as I knew there was a likely hood I may get it , you describe holding a grenade and that’s exactly what it feels like initially but 6 months on life is back to normal and I’m well and happy, you will worry yourself sick until you know for sure but it’s so much easier being able to lean on someone trust me, best of luck love and always here when you need a chat xx Jo