Hi everyone I’m new on here I was diagnosed feb27th had surgery march27th I’m on my 3rd week of tamoxifen at first I could cope with the tablets but the last week omg has hit me big time specially early hours the sweats the shakes then the cold sweats start hot and cold hot and cold goes on for about 3 hours every night I’m so mentally and physically emotionally drained I’m not the person I use to be I don’t have any family at all only my 4 kids who sadly lost there dad nearly 3 years ago he recovered from mouth cancer But died of organ failure my children had to make decision of turning his life support machine of he died with them all around him they slowly got back to normal then November 2016 there aunty passed away with lung cancer and that destroyed them it took me a week to tell my kids I was diagnosed with bc the worse day of my life telling them they cried I’m starting radiotherapy Wednesday and I’m dreading it I really don’t think I can take any more stress I’m trying to be strong for my kids but I’m crumbling inside I don’t talk about my cancer I’ve pushed it aside I don’t want my kids knowing how I really feel I can’t see them hurt any more I cry wen I’m alone and I now think I need help I really can’t do it any longer …

Hello Lynne - you have had so, so much to deal with I’m not surprised you are struggling to cope. I was diagnosed a couple of weeks befoe you and have just had my sixth radiotherapy session, following a lumpectomy a few weeks ago. I absolutely hated telling my family and found it really difficult and felt ridiculously guilty! My partner is waiting for a kidney transplant at the moment and we have also lost all the rest of his family to kidney disease or cancer. It does feel as though you are being given too much to cope with sometimes and i definitely try to just take one day at a time.


The hormone therapy meds have been the hardest part for me as well so far, and I felt the same about starting radiotherapy, but actually it has been fine so far.


You do sound as though it would be helpful for you to talk to your breast cancer nurse. Explain how badly the tamoxifen is affecting you as they may be able to change it, and see if they can also arrange for you to have someone to talk to on a more regular basis.Struggling on your own and feeling you have no one to talk to is awful. No one can know what this feels like if they haven’t been there, but a counsellor would at least give you the time and space to let it all out, and maybe some good strategies for getting through the bad days. Good luck love,  there are some lovely, helpful people on here `and you don’t have to keep doing this on your own. xx

Thanku I was going to call Macmillan tomorrow x

Lynne just a quickie as I am on train and not good on small keyboards. So sorry you find yourself so stressed. i remember the feeling well when I was diagnosed in 2015.

Try the helpline on this site. They are experts in all aspects of BC. I found the service invaluable. Macmillan good too.

Hang on in there. You will get through this.

Ruth xx

Hi Lynne, I really feel for you. You have had some major difficulties in your life, so sending you a virtual hug. There are some ladies on here who are suffering like you. I would scroll down the treatment threads and look for the Tamoxifen one. Some appear to have had success with a ‘Lady Magnet’. Yes indeedy, just drop it in your knickers…Also sage tea has been recommended . I’ve stocked up on Holland and Barrett sage and myrtle tea in readiness! I think you need to ask for help from your BC nurse and Onco,  you just can’t carry on in this miserable way.Wishing you all the best. X



Hello and welcome I know it is not the place any of us would want to be, but there are a lot of wonderful ladies on here who know exactly what you are going through and can help and support you through this,


All the things you are feeling are completely natural, it is the anxiety monster who gets in our heads and rationality goes out the window, but you will get through and we will help you.


You are doing the most amazing job with your lovely children who have been through an awful lot from what you have said but wow what a mum you are that you have got them through all of that.  Honestly I know it doesnt feel like it at the moment but you will see light at the end of the tunnel very soon.


If you think about it you have been through the worst part of your treatment in having your cancer removed, the radiotherapy and tamoxifen are the “belts and braces”. 


With the tamoxifen sometimes it is the coating of the brand of that you are using which can cause side effects, as Rooty has said it might be worth having a word with your bcn about it,  Also it may well be a good idea to get some counselling which can be arranged with them as well to help you.


The radiotherapy sessions themselves are not too bad and apart from the first one do not take long at all,


Would you consider ringing the helpline number as there are a lot of wonderful people you can talk to on there who will be able to give you support and suggestions.


We are all here for you so never feel alone and you can rant, rave, cry, ask questions whatever you want, there will always be someone on here who will be able to help you


Sending you a hug.


Helena xxx

hi Lynne,
Just to add my support, Helena & everyone else has said it all really
ann x

Hi Lynne. All the other replies have said everything I would suggest. It’s a hellish time, as a mum you automatically want to protect your kids from any worry. But you also need to think of yourself. It’s not easy as a mum as we are programmed to put our kids/family first. Talk to your bcn about counselling and changing your brand of tamoxifen. If you’ve been thru the menopause ask them to consider anastrazole or another from the same group. I know I’ve been relatively lucky with side effects but at the beginning found changing the time of day I took them really helped.
It does get easier. I know it’s hard to believe that right now and 15 months down the line I still have the odd wobble. I didn’t believe anybody when they said it will get better but it does.
Sending you hugs xx

Hi Lynne


It is about three years since I was first diagnosed but I will never forget how stressful those early days were. I also dreaded telling my children but they coped with the news much better than I expected. I was so scared of having radiotherapy, in fact I worked myself up into a state of absolute terror after listening to some other women talking about side-effects etcetera. Well you know what, when I finally had it there was nothing to it. I simply laid back and watched some moving pictures on the ceiling while listening to chillout music and after the first session I found it so relaxing that I nearly fell asleep on the following fourteen sessions, in fact on my very last one I actually nodded off and they had to shout to wake me up! I know that some forum members may not have had such an easy time of it but I can tell you truthfully that that was my experience.

yes feistyflora, just to add that was my experience too. Oddly, I quite enjoyed rads!
ann x