Good morning all
I have been reading the posts on here for a couple of weeks. Yesterday I was told my worst fears that I am triple negative. I have my op next week for removal of the lump so I will have a smaller boob, then chemo and rads.
I am so so frightened, I feel sick, cannot eat, head ache, stomach ache, fall asleep exhausted but then wake in the early hours and cannot get back to sleep.
Supposed to be heading out for a sports bra ready for my op, but cannot move off the sofa.
I know a lot of you had the same sort of feelings, but how do you cope, I have never had an op, nearly pass out just visiting anyone in hospital. But then the op is the easy part isn’t it. I am 58, please help, I would refer only positive comments but then is that hiding the truth?
How do you get rid of the negative deep dark thoughts in my head. Sorry for the ramble, I cannot think straight.
Thank you, A xx
Good Morning A, just wanted to reply to say hello, send you lots of hugs and to say I am sorry you are feeling so frightened at the moment. All I can say is I had similar times in March of this year and it honestly does get easier. I think it is fair to say there are good and bad times (not days as I had good and bad times in a day), and I had the darkest of thoughts. When a treatment plan is in place and you regain some control then things begin to look lighter. I try to focus on the good things around me (is hard at times). For me is was the support of family and brilliant friends, the professionalism and expert care from the NHS (from my local GP to the surgeon to the whole support team). I think about what gives me joy and stick to ‘what I know’ and have been told is fact in relation to the diagnosis , not what is in my head. Stay away from Google. ?
I come one to the end of my radiotherapy today and have so many positives to take away from this experience. I am not triple negative but if you take a look at that thread there are so many positive stories you may wish to read.
As for the sports bra, buy one online, far easier and less emotional. Do you need a sports bra? Call one of the specialist providers (Nicola Jane helped me)?
To get the dark thoughts out of your head my suggestion would be a walk, drive, ‘some sky’ to help bring perspective back. Or a chat with a friend, family, the helpline.
Good luck with your op next week. You will cope, be kind to yourself and take care. ?
Jill xxx
Hi
so sorry you find yourself here
I think a lot of us further down the line remember those dark early days after diagnosis and before treatment as being the worst
you feel like you have no control in a situation that feels like it is snowballing
i found it best to try and get off that sofa ( I know it is easy for me to say that now)
get your stuff together, I also went for a haircut
have you got family? If so are they reeling from it as well?
again, I hated being on my own so relied on those around me to keep my mind at least busy, I told pretty much everyone, I felt that it was in the open and nobody avoided me out of awkwardness
your surgery is a step in the right direction to recovery
try not to read up too much on things, we are all different,no person/ boob is the same
I am not TN but know at least 2 ladies personally that were and are fine now
This is a great forum, between us we will get you through this
with a big hug
x
Good morning A and a warm welcome, how you are feeling at the minute is totally natural, each one of us here would have felt exactly the same upon our diagnosis, it’s the most utterly terrifying experience I’ve ever been through and I was sure the feelings of sheer terror and anxiety would kill me long before the cancer could! I couldn’t function, couldn’t breathe at times and the panic would totally over whelm me, I’m not saying this to frighten you further but hopefully to reassure you that’s it’s a normal reaction to getting the news you have cancer. The dark thoughts will start to subside as the days go on and you realise you are getting through them, the fear will be replaced with anger and a determination to get through this and not let it drag you down anymore, my diagnosis was 16 months ago and I was as low as you are feeling back then , didn’t get out of bed for days unless I absolutely had to but now I’m doing great and life is carrying on ?
The op really is nothing to fear, I had mine as a day case as the majority of lumpectomies are and was back home within a few hours of coming around and feeling pretty ok considering, it’s not really that painful more stingy and uncomfortable for a few days and knowing that it’s been removed is a huge relief! You will start to feel stronger with each step, try not to look at the bigger picture as its too much to take on board, deal with each stage as it happens and let the experts look after you, in my experience the NHS are fantastic in this area! We are always here to listen and support you Xx Jo
Hi again A, thanks for your good wishes. Yes, M and S for the bra would be good. I found John Lewis to be helpful too as they had a specialist fitter to talk to. I struggle sometimes to find assistants in M and S. Oh yes and Debenhams were helpful and the assistant was very kind (seems to make a big difference).
One step at a time, head to the shower, then go from there. Wear something pretty. You can do this.
Let us know later how you got on. ?
J xx
Hello A, I’m so sorry that you have found yourself in this situation. Yes, it is very scary, an unknown world that we have all been catapulted into. I think most of the posts I have read over the last few months have had the same feelings of fear and been unable to sleep, eat, relax etc. I was exactly the same when I was diagnosed in February and I would burst into tears at the drop of a hat, managed to embarrass myself in the middle of Argos when a friend asked how it was all going!! But those feelings did begin to subside as I went through treatment as, like others have said, there is an element of control. I was not tn and did not have chemo, just lumpectomy and rads, but at one point I thought I was tn as I had the Oncotype test which said my bc was not hormone receptive (my hospital re-tested and it was er+), so I did do some research about tn and whilst I think that in the past it was more difficult to treat I believe that this has changed and tn now responds very well to treatment. Even since my diagnosis there have been several bc treatment advances reported in the press so new treatments are being developed all the time. I hope you have people around you to support you as you do need them, we are only human afterall and it can get very overwhelming. I am sure that there will be some ladies on here who have also been tn who can reasssure you. Take care of yourself, Michelle x
Hi again A, so glad you managed to get out to buy your sports bra. It is a scary time but any time you feel really low head out for a walk, call a friend (even for a good cry), post on the forum. There is always someone here.
Take care.
Jill xx
Hi A,
I agree with everything the others have said, the blind panic does begin to fade as you go through treatment.
I thought I’d reply as I am TN - I was diagnosed 3 years ago this month.
I had mx, 6 x FEC-T, reconstruction etc etc my hair has grown back, I’m back to work, loving life and it’s just all a nasty memory now. I had the all clear at my recent annual Mammo.
I’m not gonna lie it’s a long ole road but you’ll get there.
All the best x