Last week I was diagnosed with lobular cancer in my left breast. 15 years ago I had a lumpectomy on my right breast with a different type of cancer from which I made a full recovery. So now I am devastated to be facing this. Today I read about lobular cancer and how it can spread which was really frightening .
I am waiting for an MRI scan on both breasts which should happen in about two weeks.
I have no idea how I can keep positive for those around me at this time and keep thinking of the worst possible scenarios. I try to keep positive by trying to make the most of actually being unaware of the future is good so make the most of every day until I know more. What do other people do ?
Hi Tamdhu
I’m so sorry you’ve had a shock diagnosis after all this time. Obviously, like my mum, you’ve had two separate cancers and there will be a different treatment plan this time.
I have to say that, at this early stage, reading up on lobular cancer is exactly what you should be avoiding - it’s already triggered dark thoughts and this is before you and your consultant even know anything about your case beyond the basics. I wonder why you’ve risked the dark thoughts rather than thinking that you got through it last time and had 15 years clear so why should things be any different this time. The fact that lobular cancer can spread quickly doesn’t mean it always does, nor does it mean it has in you. And what does quickly mean? Days, weeks, months, just faster than ductal? There are too many unknowns for you right now.
The fact is, there are so many different cancer experiences and only you will work out what’s the right route for you. Some need to know every detail and analyse it forensically. Others play ostrich. But if you are of the first group, you at least need your data before researching. It’s risky using Google - you don’t know how reliable the source is, the data or research may be way out of date and Google doesn’t take into consideration your state of mind so it can leave you devastated unnecessarily. You should know from the first time that a lot of patience is needed, there’s a LOT of waiting and it’s futile thinking ahead without some guidance.
I was a wreck when first diagnosed with primary bc (one lobular, one ductal), not because of the cancer but because of the fear of losing control of my life. I played ostrich throughout and got through it. When I was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer, something just clicked, I knew I didn’t want to feel as bad as I did first time round so I just decided not to think ahead, just trust my team, work with them and any unwanted thoughts are stored in a box in my head, ready for when I need to address them. It’s worked. I’m 20 months into chemotherapy, the bc is under control (I am way past Google’s prognosis - yes, I eventually decided to find out and how wrong Google has proved in my case) and I feel calm about it all. I don’t get anxious about scans or the results…
You need to do things for your own welfare, not for anyone else. I’m not a great fan of the positive mindset but, having said that, there is clinical research that indicates that living with a positive outlook can affect outcomes in primary breast cancer so go for it. But do it for yourself. Focus for now on preparing for treatment, get fitter if you need to, change your diet if you need to but most of all, use this waiting time building up the resilience you’ll need - mindfulness, meditation, running, baking, yoga, whatever will work for you. There are apps to help, like Calm and Headspace, both endorsed by the NHS. There are loads of free videos to tune into on YouTube to help with meditation - I do one from Progressive Hypnosis daily and have done since my initial diagnosis in 2018. It will be a sound investment and help you with your goal of making the most of each day and (my words) not pre-empting the experts.
I hope everything works out well for you,
Jan x
I hope this reading will help you.
cancer.org/treatment/caregivers/when-someone-you-know-has-cancer.html
You don’t have to stay positive, stay as how do you feel and be surrounden by “vitamine” people.