Hi all
I’m really struggling with unexpected histology results so just writing to share and see of anyone has any advice or reassurance.
As I know is true for many, there have been many twists and turns along the way since I was diagnosed last October with early hormone positive breast cancer in my left breast. I was offered lumpectomy but then found out I have the BRCA2 gene which made me much more likely to get a new breast cancer in the other breast, so decided to go for a bilateral mastectomy. I had this three weeks ago, and the recovery was much better than expected - I have tissue expander implants which have been expanded enough to look fairly similar to my old breasts in clothes and I am recovering well. Until this week I had been generally managing to come to terms with things, and feeling relatively positive, especially after surgery, feeling relieved it went well and less upset about losing my breasts than I expected.
However I got my final histology this week. The histology showed a larger tumour (20mm) plus many smaller multicentric tumors over a wide area, plus 2 positive lymph nodes out of 9. In all my previous conversations I was expecting to be offered radiotherapy and tamoxifen at the most, but am now facing full axilliary clearance surgery, likely chemotherapy and then radiotherapy (plus tamoxifen). I am also now awaiting results of a CT scan, and having a bone scan to check for spread - I had previously not even considered this a possibility, which was probably a bit naive!
This news has completely floored me and I am struggling to cope with this change in what I was expecting. I think the worry about spread and the idea of chemo are the things that are scaring me the most. And just coming to terms with this different picture, when I was feeling so relieved that I thought I was through the worst.
I am 42 and have 5 and 11 year old sons. We have been open with them so far and I had been able to continue being with them and enjoying it, and protecting them from the worst/scariest parts - but since my last appointment I am struggling to be with them and not think about everything. I am so sad to have another surgery as I had just got back to being able to cuddle my youngest in bed.
I have never used this forum before and hope this post is ok. Not sure what I’m looking for really but just sharing in the hope it will help a bit.
Thank you all xxx