I finished radio in July now on 10 years tamox and monthly Zoladex injections. Since going back to work in Jan have found it really difficult. It started in May a colleague told me my boss had said to her 'its a shame Dee isn’t going for chemo I would have liked to see her go bald. This was the week i was facing all the scans after surgery to see if it had spread. When i came back to work the senior management didnt even say wrlcone back how are you. I have been constantly critisied and am made to feel guilty that i cant do my job which I can. I am made to feel as if I am weak. It go so bad i burst into tears on the last day before the holidays last week. I wascalled in to be told i need to toughen up and be a man not a woman!!! I feel really low. Amy help or advice welcome. I am a teacher and my boss has a histoty of bullying colleagues but we’re all too frightened to do anything. As you can imagine girls I haven’t got the strength for this xxx
So sorry you are having to deal with this. As for what your boss is supposed to have said, if it is true, what an unkind bitch! Heaven help the kids of today if this is the example we are setting them. Can you contact your Union? Even if you don’t want to you could always casually drop into the conversation with your colleague that you are thinking about going to your Union and that might make your wind her neck in. Nobody should be spoken to this way and to be told to be ‘a man’ is utterly ridiculous. Try and take a witness if your boss calls you in and speaks to you like this again and make a note of what was said, by whom and on which date etcetera just in case you need to provide evidence in the future. I’m not usually violent but I feel as though I want to come round and punch your boss but rest assured you’ve always got us. Keep us posted and let us know how you are getting on. At least you can have a bit of a break now. Take care and have a Happy Christmas. xxxxx
Dee, I would be looking for a sharp exit out of there! What the hell was the bald comment about??? How cruel, unnecessary and just plain horrid! You are a few months on from radio, teaching is exhausting work anyway ( i quit the profession 7 years ago) and the last thing you need is a bully of a boss on your back. Seriously, could you not look for a new job in the new year? Failing that, I would be reminding colleagues that you have just experienced a LIFE THREATENING illness, that you have come out the other side and now seek support not criticism! Honestly, what do people think BC is, a blooming ride in the park??
Maybe a few colleagues could get together and stand up to this ’ boss’? Bullying is a serious offence (my previous head teacher was dismissed for bullying!)
Get some rest and have a think about how you might tackle things next term…
Thanks girls and my boss is a man! He has been done by the NUT teachers union for bullying about 2 years ago. Oh dont worry i am leaving there this summer when i get a new job. Really appreciate your replies have made me realise i’m not alone. Thanks xxx
Isn’t it awful we are made to feel guilty for having cancer. I have said nothing at the hospital as I was too frightened by my boss, but i have an appointment early Jan so i’m going to mention this to them. Thanks again xxx
Hi dizzydee,
He neefs to man up, you have the law on yiur side. He could be exposing himself to a constructive dismal claim i would have thought as you now are protected by legislation, the disability act. Pls speak with your trades union, macmillan, breast cancer care and acas. On this site there is the EMPLOY charter, it speaks about supportive measures… but definately collect witnesses and turn the tables. He should be dismussed, horrible to face when at low ebb. Have you checked your work policies? had referral to occupational health ? pls seek advice and get some support x x
LL xx
Thanks LexiLou,
Going to see what the hospital say too but I am in a union. Will let u know how it goes. Half of me wants to keep quiet and just go I haven’t the strength for this as you all know we’ve been through enough. But the other half wants to take action and stand up for our rights. Xxx
It makes me livid to hear you are experiencing such treatment from your boss. Sounds like he is not acting in accordance with equality legislation or disability legislation.
My employer was pretty appauling when I returned (2 individuals - both ignorant of our own company policies and seemingly anything remotely to do with cancer). My GP was stunned when I told her they had informed me they could not accept 2 fit notes saying the return was too fast (they expected 40 hours plus 10 hours travel to and from work on top after 2 weeks back at work post bc with mega aneamia/iron loss).
GP advised me to see oncologist, explain treatment by employer and see if oncoligist would write a letter. She did…worded along lines of treatment given, focusing on how it was essential that a supportive environment be given during recovery otherwise risk of physical and phycological impacts on recovery.
Would also suggest speaking to Macmillan employment team. It may be that turning up with a member of the union (if you are a member) might send out a few back off messages to your boss. I presume there are also school employment policies which would cover equality. You might want to consider putting in a formal grievance again to send out a back off message but talk all that through with Macmillan to see what they say regarding the situation.
I agree with the fellow forum poster who said to always take someone you trust with you to meetings with your boss.
I hope things improve - sounds like a few back off messages needed.
You might find it helpful to read posts inthe employment and finance section of the website.
I pressume you have a few close colleages? Your post makes it sound like it’s primarilly the boss who is making things difficult/uncomfortable for you?
Do post again - I went though the process since I felt so principled that a couple of individuals had not acted humanely or inaccordance with disability legislation or the companies own policies! Happy to share my experiences of that journey if relevant to you.