hi all, well i had my review the other day, to see how the chemo was doing, having been diganosed feb with sternum and both lung mets, noticed a lump on my forehead as well that i was shying away from,that now been confirmed as scull mets, my dr noticed i was in worse condition that 3 weeks previous and ordered more tests, after 6 hours, they then decide to break the news, and cut my life from 2-5 years to a matter of months, too aggressive to treat they are saying, i havent given up and demanded my chemo, how can you give up, at what stage, god my children, my life, this is so shit, i am in turmoil, to make matters worse i have just sold my house, had to no insurances from previous breast cancer, but thought i would have few years to rent something with my kids, any advice, anything to reasure me would be great, its hard to be brave when you can feel your life draining away, things we take for granted in life, sorry to sound like a grouch, a moaner, i dont mean to, i used to be possitive you know, i have just had it all taken away from me.
celticdreamer,
i dont know what to say! I feel for you greatly. Just read some of the inspirational stories on this site.
read dippykates blog, she was given months, years ago.
I am sure that much more articulate people will express their thoughts.
julie x
Celticdreamer - I also don’t really know what to say, except to echo Juliet and look at all the members of this forum who have been given a really poor prognosis and are doing really well. You say you’ve asked to carry on with chemo - are you eligible for Herceptin? I agree with Juliet, Kate is an inspiration and never gives up - you seem to share the same spirit by the sound of things.
I wish I could say something more/better but I’m relatively new to all of this myself and think you need some of the ‘old hands’ to give you the benefit of their advice.
Take care
Lesley xx
Dear Dawn, how dreadful, I’m not sure what to say, but i do have a few questions. Are you resident in this country, if so try and arrange for a second opinion the Marsden in London is seen as a centre of excellence.
Clearly what you have been told needs to be checked out, what treatment have you been on? Apart from aggressive what else are they saying about your cancer. You don’t say whether you have a partner but i do hope you have someone who can go along to appointments with you, because sometimes we are not able to absorb all that is being said to us too well. I’m not saying that this has happened here, but i do hope you can gather all the support that is available.
These things are rarely clarified in one meeting in my experience, are you due to meet with your oncologist again shortly or not.
There are people on here who have been given life expectancy time frames that they have surpassed, and I do hope that this will be the case with you.
Whatever happens I can tell by your posts, that you will do all you can for yourself and your children through whatever comes to pass, and you can rely on the support and hope of all on this site for as long as you want it.
Hi Julie,
I’m so sorry to hear of your latest diagnosis. Please do give the helpline a ring on Monday and talk with the staff here, they are here to support you through this. Lines open on Monday at 9am - 5pm (Mon to Fri) and Sat 9am - 2pm. Calls are free, 0808 800 6000.
Take care,
Kind regards,
Jo, Facilitator
Hi celticdreamer
I’m so sorry to hear of your progression. You are not a moaner or a grouch - you’ve had a massive shock and the carpet pulled from under your feet in matter of seconds. As others have mentioned, there are many women here who have defied very poor prognoses and are here to tell the tale. Their stories give us hope at a time when we are full of despair.
It seems to me that you’ve not had an adequate explanation as to why your onc is proposing to stop treatment. What is it that’s making this too hard to treat - the lung mets, or the bone mets? Is it because of their positioning, or their size, or your bloods? I hope they have they given you a macmillan nurse or someone to help you deal with this. Personally, I would see my GP tomorrow and get an urgent referral for a second opinion.
Big hugs
xxx
Hi Celticdreamer,
As others have said, what your onc has told you does not sound realistic to me. It sounds as though they are saying you have progression in your lungs? It also sounds as though you feel pretty well in yourself - well enough to be planning your forseable life with your kids. I don’t know what treatments you have had previously but if you are only recently diagnosed there are plenty of options to try. You are not untreatable by any means and you need a proper explanation from your medical team as to why they are saying this. If you do not wish to give up treatment, they should keep treating you. I would definitely give the BCC helpline a ring and see how they can help you. I am sure there should be another way forward for you.
Jenny
x
Hi celticdreamer
Hard to know what to say given your awful news. Think Ripley’s advice is really good though - feel you need to know exactly what it is that has made them come to this decision and exactly why they feel chemo won’t work. There are certainly people around for whom one type of chemo hasn’t worked but another has worked really well, so I would be asking why they don’t feel another chemo might be appropriate. And, as Celeste suggests, a 2nd opinion from the Marsden might be the way forward.
Really hope that you have some good support for yourself.
Kay x
Hi celticdreamer
What horrible news, and how horribly badly has your oncologist communciated to you.
Like Celeste I think it is so important that you have someone else with you when you talk to your conologist…it does make it easier to ask all the questions and take in what you are being told. Also, I think pursuing a second opinion at a hospital such as the Marsden (or Christies if you are in the north of England) would be a good idea. My own experience at the Marsden is that the breast cancer team there really are very up to date on treatments, and also the oncologist I saw had superb communication skills which really helped me in understanding the complexities of what he was saying.
Personally I am always wary of comparing other people’s stories, because each person’s cancer experience, type of cancer, progression etc is a bit different, and other stories can give unrealistic as well as realistic hope or sometimes cause despair…when what you need is to focus on the real possibilities for yourself.
Do you have a MacMillan or hospice nurse? Again, in my experience I have found the support offered from my local hopsice really useful (and I don’t think of myself being on the brink of death at all…but somehow the training and expertise of hospice nurses is just brilliant over a range of practical and emotional issues.)
As Ripley says, you do need more information than you have now…and I hope you can still get this in a way which makes sense to you.
very best wishes
Jane
Dear Celticdreamer, so sorry to hear of your news and wanted to offer my support.It does sound as if you need more information and perhaps a second opinion so that you can at least compare and consider your best option as according to the NICE guidelines we’re supposed to be able to make informed decisions about our own treatment.It’s so hard to think clearly when you’re told such difficult news - it is good advice that others have given to take someone with you to take notes and ask questions for you if you’d like them to. It does seem very quick if you were only diagnosed last month for the onc. to decide to give up the chemo so you do need more information and a second opinion may at least give you confidence that you’re getting the best advice.As others have said different chemos work and don’t work for different people.
Take all the help and support you’re offered.
Take care and let us know how you’re doing.
Anne x
just over 3 weeks ago i had ct scan, showed cancer in sternum and both lung with partial mets, commenced oral chemo and bone binding drug, 3 weeks later went for check up, my breathing had become that bad that i cannot walk more than 25ft without stopping for breath, i was normal healthly lady before the new year, gym x 3 weekly and dog walking most days and worked full time. i demanded an xray as i thought i had fluid in my lung, xray showed the mets had doubled in size from 3 weeks previous and one lung had partialy collasped, the consultant then said the chemo was not working, and would not work, and from the growth rate of the cancer it was looking at months rather than years to live, and i think deep down you can tell, my muscles are wasting away, i am a registered nurse i dealt with death most days and can see it happeneing to me, i pray i am a paraniod person and have years to live! and as my cancer was hormormal i can have no hormorns at all, they had to be blocked, i thank you all for your advice and concerns, i just thought i would explain more about what i wrote, i was just hoping someone would say hey im still here and they said that to me, its hard to think you have to leave your children, i have no partner i am divorced, but i have a good family. thank again ladies you are all an inspiration to me, and i mean that truely 
x
Hi Celticdreamer
I have only just found your thread, sorry, wanted to send you {{{hugs}}}
There is nothing I can say would make this better for you and my heart goes out to you and what you are facing. I hope that you have managed to get a second opinion and a treatment that is controlling your mets.
Thinking of you
Nikki