Second time around for me. It started off OK then we got to now…final MRI results plus planning on Tuesday. Last time I took it in my stride. This time I am very scared and according to my brain have mets everywhere you can think of. It is a completely different experience, can anyone relate?
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Not in your situation so I don’t know how it feels but listening . So sorry that you’re in this situation I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you on Tuesday that it won’t be as bad as you fear xx
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Hello Not Again,
I am in the same boat: had a new primary /local primary recurrence (they can’t or wont say which) diagnosed 10 days ago. I agree, it feels devastating to be back again in this world I felt I had started to move away from and maybe more scary than first time. Seems doubly unfair after a long struggle to recover from mastectomy, chemo etc and move forward with work and life.
For me it has been 4 years and 8 months. I had a lot of difficulty getting mine diagnosed as it is lobular and again occult in the scans and I was treated very dismissively, eventually getting this taken up after a private second opinion.
I feel quite alone though a few good friends are very supportive but others haven’t replied or only checked in once after my surgery. I’m assuming they find it quite scary and don’t know what to say or maybe they assume that I know what i am doing and how to cope with it as I have done it before. But I agree this is a whole new ball game.
Liz O’Riordan (breast surgeon who got lobular breast cancer and does a lot of media and internet), has had two local recurrences and has a podcast on it and
Future Dreams have an online primary recurrence group FYI,
All the best- wishing you strength and courage.
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Thinking of you and hope Tuesday does well.
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Hi @not_again
Commiserations that you find yourself lining up for a second go. Happened to me too, but I must say I found it easier the second time (11year gap) because I knew I could get through it and ‘survive’. My first was lobular/hormone+, and I ended up with a mastectomy. The second was ductal/herceptin+, and I opted to go straight to a second mastectomy despite them wanting to do a lumpectomy. Just couldn’t stand the thought of a third round. That was 7 years ago and so far so good. My third crop of hair is much like the first two 
.
I know it’s horrible but what choice do we get but to carry on and cope with it all. I guess distraction is the only answer until you get those results, and hopefully they won’t be too bad and you will feel better when you know exactly what you’re facing.
Good luck with it all and let us know how things go on Tuesday.
Sending love and hugs
Eily 
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Hi @not_again1
Sorry you find yourself here again. I was diagnosed with a local recurrence in October 2024. 3 years 3 months after my first diagnosis.
It feels like a completely different experience to me too. I think in part because even my surgeon was convinced it wasn’t a recurrence and also because the treatment plan this time was just surgery and tamoxifen. Where as the first time I had chemo and rads as well. It feels like because it came back I should be having more treatment but they are the experts so hopefully it won’t come back again.
Will be thinking of you on Tuesday and hope it’s no worse than you already know it is. We are all here for you though whatever the outcome🥰
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Hi @not_again1
Wishing you so much luck for Tuesday xxxx
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Hi not-again,
I was diagnosed in 2022 with a new primary breast cancer in the other breast having had it in 2009. It is completely different and in some ways harder to deal with because the tricks you use to get through the first time aren’t as available to you. But in some ways I felt like Eily, I knew what was coming and knew I could get through it. Doesn’t make it any easier or less isolating, though. Wishing you all the best for your results. Take care Lisa xx
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I’m so sorry for you not getting the support that seems to make it easier. I have heard this from a lot of people who think they are surrounded by people who really care. But then when these things happen they are not there in the way we assume they should be. But it’s not you. Listen to many people who say this and I hope you will be comforted to know that there are many reasons why different personalities don’t reach out and it seems most of them are not for the reason that they don’t care. i’m glad you are here to find support. You deserve.
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Thinking of you, along with all the other lovely ladies on the site. Wishing you lots of health and happiness ahead.
Please let us know how you’re getting on.
Hugs Tili 
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Thank you everyone! All went well. There was no more cancer seen on MRI. The consultant was amazing. He said that of course MRI is v sensitive but doesn’t always pick up every little tiny bit of lobular cancer although it is pretty good at it. He asked what I wanted and went through the pros and cons of lumpectomy vs mastectomy. I settled on mastectomy but can still change my mind if I want to right up until the anaesthetic. They gave me a surgical bra (ugly but oh so comfy) and a couple of fake soft boobs, a mastectomy pillow and a seatbelt guard to bring home ready for surgery. Awaiting call from pre-op people, and also for them to arrange sentinel node marker. I am utterly exhausted, as soon as the decision was made I felt really relieved and very tired. So an early night with Mr Kindle tonight. I am so lucky to be being treated in this hospital, and in their brand-new surgical unit too! And I really do feel in safe hands with this consultant.
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Well done my brave girl, take good care remember we are still all here for you.
Hugs Tili
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So sorry you have to go through this again. I had a new primary diagnosed 2 months ago. It took a lot for me to cope with the anxiety and the waiting for results. Strangely friends and family.more low key in support this time- they think I coped last time so I’ll do it again. So, I can understand a bit about your situation. All best wishes
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Hi @margie_toon welcome to the forum.
I’m so sorry to hear you have had a new primary. And sorry to hear that others are no as supportive as they think you coped before.
I had 2 primary tumours, one on each boob at the same time and there isn’t a day goes by that I think that it may come back. Every ache and pain could be spread. I know in my head I was told that I had a good prognosis but the fear of recurrence is so real. If it did happen, I can imagine I would hope that there was a successful treatment plan but it would also cause anxiety that I had to do it all over again. ( surgery, chemo, Herceptin,radio, AI and zoledronic acid). Many on here say they suffer from PTSD from having cancer treatment.
How are you feeling about their attitude? If you think you need more support I would suggest telling them so. I bet if they think you coped well, you were like me, that you just managed and tried not to share how you were really feeling to those close to you, to protect them. I’ve always been the strong o organised one in the family, juggling so many balls, I thought I had to continue but then I reasoned I couldn’t. It didn’t stop me not fully sharing everything going through my mind.
Thinking about you.
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Thanks so much for your welcoming reply. What a disease this is. I know there are a million versions but I am so sorry you had to go through two simultaneous primaries, and a shed load of treatment too. Appreciate your thoughts , those of us who are the “copers” usually do have to make a noise if we want people to realise we maybe aren’t coping this time around. One note on recurrence- strangely I did find my knowledge from first BC episode was very helpful this time. I was less shocked, more knowledgeable, but equally much more anxious. All best wishes.
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