Utterly sick of rogue boob

ER +ve 2015 - surgery, chemo, rads, supposed to still be on tamaxibollox but a significant part of not taking it relates to having a pulmonary embolism while in chemo so oncologist put me on clexane jabs daily for the duration. Plus horrific side effects.  Another story!  Anyway, bloody thing has been painful ever since with frightening lumps etc which I have had investigated each time.  Never cancerous so that’s that, never any good explanations of pain or why it feels like a tender bag of stones and the shoulder blade gets painfully stuck sometimes. So when I understood the very, very low chance of recurrence there I decided for my peace of mind not to touch it again and try not to look (Ugly square lump on chest frequently made worse by lymphodema).  Had the other side tightened up last year after losing 4 stones, and have appointment later this month to see if any further tweaking advised.  Meanwhile, noticed yesterday that the gradual firming up above my boob (where some of the rads were directed) has extended into my armpit making it look as though there is almost an indentation like if you put your finger in pastry.  Now absolutely petrified but feel unable to talk to anyone in real life about it as don’t want to worry them. I get so utterly sick of these frightening changes, and at the same time I don’t want to go to my gp AGAIN as our current project is my horrible asthma which has got a lot worse over the last couple of years.  Have had loads of x rays and infections.  Last year had a ct scan - apparently clear except “glass grounds” under rads path.  Could anything be there now that wasn’t visible last December?

Hi Ruth, you’ve certainly been through the mill, haven’t you? I don’t know wether what you have is ‘normal’ but I do think you need an expert looking at it. We’re just BC mates here wobbling along as best we can, not really medical experts. I can say my armpit where I had node clearance and rads is a bit like a black hole now. I could get my fist in it! As for the lymphodaema…well…that part of my torso looks like bread dough, bulging over my bra. 
I suppose there could be something there which has developed since your scan, but guessing isn’t good really I think, as it tends to put the brain into overdrive. My advice would be to bite the bullet and phone your GP if you haven’t got a BC nurse you can talk to. Best wishes. X