I’m on day 4 of my first EC cycle and can’t stop crying. Every post i read on here makes me cry too. Feeling very alone as my mum and my best friend both on holiday (booked before diagnosis). My other half is being great but I’m trying not to get upset in front of him as I know he needs me to be strong (feel like I have to be strong for both of us).
I’m already getting worked up about cycle 2 as the sickness for the last few days has been horrendous. Tablets finally working but the thought or smell of food is still making me wretch so think it’s psychological now.
Don’t know how I am going to do this another 5 times. Then I have to face mastectomy and reconstruction as they couldn’t get clear margins on lumpectomy in February.
Is it normal to feel like this? I’ve sat in bed since other half went to work as can’t see the point in getting up. I need some motivation. Someone please tell me these side effects will improve and I will feel like myself again soon.
Helen how you are feeling is completely normal. I got very low around day 5 after FEC as you are crashing from coming off the steroids. I had a day crying but in a couple of days the feelings will pass and so will the hideous nausea. Certain foods and smells were unbearable but it does wear off and by about day 10 I was back to normal and felt fine. The first cycle is very tough as you don’t know what to expect and your body is in shock I found the next two cycles easier. I’m on my first T now and I am thankful there is no sickness! Take care and be kind to yourself. You will feel better Claire xxx
Helen, I’m pleased to hear you’re sickness is under control today, hopefully they’ll prescribe you better meds for round 2. Were you given Emend antisickness tablets last time?
I’m not surprised you’re feeling really down and upset today, you’ve had a rotten time of it and the buildup of trying to cope just gets too much at times. I feel that way from time to time too, definately at least a couple of days of each cycle. I’m on my 4th cycle now (day 5) and spent yesterday sat in bed - felt like such a long day, but I couldn’t think why I should actually get up if I didn’t feel up to it!! Similar today (although I have managed a bath!) I’ve learned to go with the flow and not be hard on myself - it’s not our fault we’re going through this and we manage the best we can.
You will start to feel better and your mood will lift. That’s when you know you can and will keep going. Try to see each day as one day closer to the end of this rotten treatment and you will get there
I’ve got another op coming up after radiotherapy to correct the reconstruction I had after my mastectomy and (at the moment!) I’m not too bothered because I know that I’m not going to have to endure chemotherapy afterwards!
Really hope your day gets better, sending loads of love
Kim xxx
Hi helen, I’m new on here and know just how you feel and I think it’s normal, cry if you need too, I have. You don’t have to face this alone, we are all here for you. Holding your hand all the way. X
Hi Helen, it is really normal to feel like you do, you’ve been through an awful lot to get to this point I’m sure.The first one is really hard as you don’t know what to expect. I found that each cycle fell into a very similar pattern , so while still pretty horrid, the SE’s were generally the same and therefore not so scary.Day 4 was my weepy day and in a few days you will start to feel more like yourself. Everyone is different, but I’d say go with the flow and if you feel like a day in bed, just do it! You sound a very caring person and its natural to protect your other half but this is perhaps one of those times in your life when you can be a bit selfish and I’m sure he’ll understand if you need to have a good cry. If you haven’t already done so, join a chemo thread where you are all going through it together. 4 years on and I am still in contact with a wonderful group of women who supported each other through treatment on BCC forum (April 2012). It’s good to be able to run things by each other and when some people are up, others might be down and offering support.
And you will do it another 5 times but just remember to cross off one at a time. You will have ups and downs but you will get through it and remember to be kind to yourself. It’s ok to feel c****y!
Thanks Gaynor. Your comments mean a lot. There are some wonderful ladies on here. I’ve felt a lot enter today and even managed to wash my hair and put some make up on!!! Hopefully the sickness is behind me now. Thanks again Helen xx
