Hi
I have posted on the site before but in Have I got breast cancer!!!..Well as I’m now here you have probably guessed I have.
I’m sitting at home just now recovering from my second surgery, was good news this time as the test on my lymph nodes was clear, but still feeling very fed up.
As part of this last surgery I had to have the implants that I have had for 12 years removed and the result is horrific!!! … I know I should be glad that the news was good and that it is only a cosmetic result but feel very down about it. Is there anyone else who has had the same???
I am now waiting to here if I will require chemo, and when I will be starting rads.
At just 40 and having boobs that look like a 70 year olds is quite hard to deal with along with other stuff!!! (I’m sorry I know that to any boobs I should be pleased)
Michelle xxxx
Sorry to hear that you had to join us in the receiving treatment section. Also sorry that you are so down at the moment, I too am 40 and it’s a shock when it happens. It all seems to happen so quickly too and then there is the waiting to find out what they plan to do next and then the waiting to get started with the next step too. It does get to you and quite often the things that get you most upset are things that others say you shouldn’t worry about.
Glad that your nodes were not involved - I used to say that I was lucky not to have mastectomy, lucky that there was no lymph nodes affected and lucky to escape chemo … but then when I thought about it I’m not lucky … BC at any level does not make you lucky … but some of us are luckier than others.
You say you should be happy that you still have boobs … I can’t comment on the cosmetic side cos I’ve never had implants removed and other than a scar (and now some rads sunburn) my boobs both look the same as before. The nearest I can compare is that a month after my surgery - by which time I had the good prognosis news - I was told that my friend’s fiance was told that his cancer was terminal and was advised to bring their sept wedding fwd as he may not be here in Sept… later that day someone asked how I was getting on and I replied that after the news about my friend’s fiance I couldn’t complain … their response was ‘yes you can complain … your situation may be better than his but you are still suffering’ … so many points along the way we have situations where we are luckier than some but it doesn’t mean everything is easy to cope with.
Thank you so much for your reply, it’s so good to here someone say that I’m not being silly and that somethings do matter (if only to me).
thanks again Mxxxx
Of course things matter and even if it’s just something that matters to you then it still matters.
And no you are not being silly - the fact that you have had surgery is probably playing a part in your mood too, we all get fed up when we’ve had an operation and we are sore and unable to do the things that we normally do.
When are you due to go back and discuss the treatment plan?
Yep, you have every right to feel angry, sad, totally fed up… no matter what our results, or prognosis, it’s a massive deal that you are going through… all I can say is, get your feelings out by talking, shouting or punching something (not the wall preferably)… then pour yourself a glass of something cool and nice and sit in the sun for a bit and be really kind to yourself, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. I’ve found that when I’m feeling down about it all, just doing something for me, however indulgent, helps… just until the mood passes (and they always do). Keep on keeping on, you’re through surgery and no lymph nodes is worth celebrating too. carrie x
hi i agree with the others i ended up with two operations after the first i was really upset about my scar as i was not prepared for it then had to have second op and scar now much bigger but it did not bother me so much, you are still in shock and you will get your head around all this in time.Take care of yourself.
thanks everyone, feeling much better today been sitting in the sun and doing what I want to do 
You all sound so positive which is great.
lilacblushes - I.m due back in 2 weeks to discuss further treatment, just going to take each day as it comes.
Try not to stress out too much in the next 2 weeks whilst you wait for your news. In a way the worst news has been given when they confirmed that you did have BC, but waiting to find out what the treatment plan is going to be is also stressful. I saw my consultant/surgeon a week after my operation and he advised at that point that I would be being passed to the onc team and that the treatment plan would be chemo, rads and tamoxifen and/or herceptin as necessary but the onc team would confirm this so I had very little waiting around wondering and got my head round the chemo issue fairly early on. However - 8 days later when I saw the onc for the 1st time she said that they were not deffo about the chemo - this was under discussion due to the intermammory gland thing - a week later after much discussion by the onc team I was told I would not be getting chemo. The week that it was under question was actually worst than thinking I was getting it … but I think in my mind I was thinking that they had offered me 3 treatments to fight the disease with and now they were possibly going to take one away … in the end I didn’t get chemo and they reassured me that the rads and tam would sort out any strays.
Hi Michelle
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis but its good you have found our discussion forums and I am sure you will get loads of information and support here.
There are a couple of publications which you might find helpful.
Firstly, your feelings about your appearance are not at all unusual. You might find our pamphlet on sexuality, intimacy and breast cancer – on this site at
breastcancercare.org.uk/docs/sexuality___feb_08_0.pdf
useful (it has a section on self esteem and body image on page 18).
If you want more information on your treatment options then our pamphlet on diagnosis and treatment, on this site at
breastcancercare.org.uk/docs/bcu06_web_0.pdf
Should help you to think through options.
If you would like to talk to one of our experts about your feelings or to get more information then do phone our helpline on 0808 800 6000. The helpline is open
Normal opening hours:
Monday - Friday, 9am - 5pm
Saturday, 9am - 2pm
Our helpline is a free and confidential service. Run by specially trained nurses, we are able to offer advice about services inside and outside Breast Cancer Care and can help you make informed choices about what you should do.
I hope this helps Michelle and do email the moderator or post here if there is anything else we can do.
Best wishes
Ann