Very worried…
Very worried… Up till a couple of weeks ago I felt as if I was getting some of my life back. I had, had my first check up mammogram and it had come back fine, my back ache had long gone and the sun was shining. Then about two weeks ago I started to feel sickly just before a hot flush, then last week I started to get tummy pains as if I was going to get an upset stomach. Both symptoms do come and go, but mentally I am back to my dark days when I was diagnosed.
I am convincing myself now that I have troubles in my colon and bowel.
The other month I was convinced it was in my back. I have found myself weeping, and thinking dark thoughts. My better half isnt really very understanding, and he says that I am just being silly.
How can I claw myself back up again. I can’t believe how easily I have gone back to those really dark days.
I found myself on another part of the web site the other day, I just couldnt stop myself and I then couldnt sleep.
I feel very tired with all the thoughts, and just don’t know how much more I can take.
I am so sorry girls, this really isn’t me, and Im sorry to be saying all these negative things but I really have no one else to talk to. I dont want to worry anyone as to the outside I am getting on with things. people dont want to know once they think that you are ‘over it’.
I am going to try and look for some high fibre foods as I have lost 20lbs in weight since January after being on a low fat diet, maybe thats it, and after having my ovaries out in August 2006 my change really does seem to have kicked in.
Sorry again girls.
Debbie x
You have been through a hell of a lot of treatment.
It sounds to me as though you are suffering from anxiety and depression. Probably triggered with the menopause.
Thinking negative thoughts is all too easy when you are recovering from such a devastating illness.
I have sufferred in a similar way when I was younger. I had a friend who died of bowel cancer. After her death I imagined every twinge was a serious illness and that I would not survive more than a couple of years!!!
I have not had any of the same fears after being diagnosed with Breast Cancer.
I do understand how you are feeling and it is not a nice feeling. I lost a lot of weight with fear and panic which I felt every day.
I did go to my G.P. who gave me antidepressants which I took for about six months. It did pass in time.
I have found my own way of relaxing as I have got older.
I focus on my breathing taking long deep breaths. I also say to myself "how many times have I thought something was wrong with me when it wasn’t. Try to rationalise your fear. I know this all sounds too easy.
If you really feel this is affecting you life, don’t be afraid to talk to someone about it. A problem shared is a problem halved.
Hope it passes soon and you can get back to enjoying life.
Love Jugsy
Debbie you’ve obviously made some big changes in your diet and are now probably suffering from the knock on effects- livestock farmers all know that sweeping feed changes are bad for profit!
In future make changes gradually and don’t pay attention to all the apostles of do this/don’t do that/how I cured my cancer. Most of this is tosh and ladies are too thick to realise that they just got lucky.
What you MUST DO is to see what suits you, what diet you feel best on and to go for as wide a variety of fresh food as you can. Things which make you feel well are all good.
Next time you see your onc tell all about your colon probs if they haven’t settled. Br ca migrates all over the place but the colon is an unlikely destination.
And if your colon probs persist phone onc’s secretary and get a soon appt- it will be better than worrying yourself into a hole in the ground [we all do it].
Best wishes, dilly
You Are Never On Your Own Hi Debbie
Please ring me.
I don’t like to think of you feeling down. Hope it was nothing I said when we had coffee. But I do agree with everything Jugsy has said it could have been written by me.
Love and HUGS
Janet
xx
Thank you… Thank you for all your kind words. I really am up and down at the minute…Janet please don’t think that our lovely coffee and chat had anything to do with me being slightly ‘strange’…
In my sane moments I really know that this is the menopause kicking in, possibly made worse by the fact that I have lost the weight, (oestrogen apparently is stored in the fat cells) I can usually always see some lightness in anything, but over the past 2 weeks I have been a little down. I just dont know what kind of diet I should be sticking too, I saw my GP last Thursday and she felt that the ‘funny do’s’ that I have been having were due to losing too much weight. I can’t seem to do right from wrong. My sugar levels were really low.
So this past few days I have been just eating what I wanted, I will have to get back to a sensible eating plan on Tuesday. My tummy cramps are not as bad, and from what I have read the nausea could also be tied to the change.
Anyway, thank you again. and I hope everyone has had a good weekend.
Much love
Debbie x