couldn’t read and ignore (even tho’ I’m time wasting at work…)
Being out of control is so hard, isn’t it, if you are used to being in control. And results tomorrow - that’s scary! So it’s ok to have a bad day. You will have plenty of those (sorry, but that’s the reality), but you will get good days too. And you have a lovely family to support you.
I was diagnosed at 44, with three kids. They were 17, 14 and just turning 12 at the time. Now I am 10 years on, youngest will be 22 next month. So I’ve seen all three leave school, two graduate, and the youngest is doing medicine so won’t graduate till next year.
You will achieve your milestones too. Just don’t be hard on yourself now
I’m in a very similar position, x The ladies on here are so helpful and supportive x I just burst into tears as I got a bouquet of flowers this morning with a card reminding me how strong I am from an old school friend who has been through this and knew I would need a boost today x Results at 3.15 today good luck tomorrow x
jjleeds and rach1b70 my thoughts are with you both. Scary time but soon you will know what you are dealing with and can tackle it. Waiting with no news is very difficult. I hope you have a good doctor to tell you what is happening and that you can feel our hugs and support. Tlc
Darling this is perfectly understandable and we all know what that feels like, so you are in the very best place to get this off your chest, you a scared for all the reasons that you have said. I remember when I started radiotherapy I had a complete meltdown on the third day because I felt that I had lost control of my life, it was dictated by this daily hospital appointment which I did not like, I burst into tears, the guys there were wonderful sat me down, said all the right things and basically put me back on my feet again to enable me to carry on, and that is exactly what we are going to do with you. Virtual hugs and hands are with you as are the tough pants, they havent had to come out for a while, but they are winging their way to me xx
Once you get your results tomorrow you will know exactly what you are dealing with and you should get your treatment plan. This will then enable you to know what is happening and when, and you will then be able to plan. I felt strangly calm when I had mine, I suppose because I felt relieved that I knew what was happening.
You are strong you just do not feel it at the moment, but we are all here to support you, hold your hand and give you loads of hugs
Hugs to those struggling today and fingers crossed for your results . Bad days are normal and sometimes come out if the blue ,you would be pretty blooming strange if you didn’t have days when you seriously wobble this is scary stuff to deal with no matter how strong you are it’s also very isolating and people who’ve not been through it really can’t understand the impact ,
Thank you everyone who left a comment today. They have really helped me through. It’s been a tough one, but I am home from. Lovely Lunch, in my pjs and chilling on the sofa. Tomorrow cannot come soon enough. I can then get things straight in my kind.
Hi Rach, as others have said, it is perfectly normal to feel like you do. The waiting game is the worst. Things will get better even if it doesn’t feel like it now. It’s ok to have bad days. Be kind to yourself.
What I really wanted to say is, please don’t feel like you are letting your children down. I felt that way a few weeks ago but it really is not the case. You aren’t letting anyone down. You didn’t choose this and you will fight this and come out the other side. You are strong, even if you don’t feel like it and will become stronger. Your children will be proud of you so don’t feel bad about those bad days.
After a morning stressing and thinking of all the worst case scenarios my results were better than I could have hoped for, all margins from WLE were clear, they had taken 6 nodes not the one I thought due to damage caused to them during biopsies earlier but all were clear. Tumour was grade 1 so the best outcome. Even had a chuckle as the pathology but my cancer type as odd (Don’t think that is a technical term) as it wasn’t one of the usual types. 5 days in Tenerife come Saturday then 15 radiotherapy sessions and 5 years on Tamoxifen… I have everything crossed you get similar results … Will be thinking of you tomorrow. I am now going for my first proper bath in 2 weeks and daring myself to look at my boob. Had the dressing taken off at the hospital but daren’t look so going to check out the battle scars
OMG I am overwhelmed by the support here tonight. You ladies are absolutely amazing. I am a complete mess but have had the most wonderful pre birthday and results evening with my two closest friends.
Thank you so much you super women. I will be back with my news tomorrow ???