Waiting anxiously for my mum's biopsy test results

Yesterday my mum went in for a second appointment at our screening clinic and this time for an ultrasound as the first appointment and screening showed some areas of concern. I managed to take some time off work and went with her thinking that it was all nothing and that perhaps they weren’t able to get a proper picture the first time…how wrong was I. After what felt like forever waiting for my mum I could see her coming back to the waiting area but as soon as I saw her face I knew something was deadly wrong. She barely was able to mutter a single word when I asked her what was wrong.
Shortly afterwards, together with my mum we were informed that the ultrasound had picked up several lumps in the right hand side of her breast and these were solid masses, no cysts. We are no waiting anxiously for the biopsy results and my mum is quite simply beside herself.
I keep telling myself that 9/10 of such cases are benign and that there is chance that everything could be ok. However, at the same time, I find myself preparing myself for the worst fearing that if I don’t I won’t be able to be strong for my mum. As the eldest child I feel an overwhelming pressure to keep myself together, not just for my mum but also for my younger siblings.
We are waiting for the clinic to call back to arrange an appointment once the results are in. It’s like waiting forever and its been a day.
My sister was diagnosed with ovarian cancer when she was just 16 but she is now 23 and has been in remission since then. We as a family have been through so much already and sometimes I feel like we won’t be able to cope if it is bad news. It’s just my mum because dad didn’t want to know - she is the life and soul of our family.
Any help and support would be much appreciated.

Hello pinkaberry

Welcome to the forums, this must be a very difficult time for you and your family. I’m sure other users will be along to support you soon.

You may like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.

Best wishes

June, moderator

Welcome to the BCC forums. So sorry you have had to join us.

It is such a scary time. I was there myself this time last year. I had a recall from a routine mammogram, and I thought it would be nothing, “just need a better picture”.

I can vividly remember - and probably always will! - the shock at having a 2nd then 3rd mammogram, then ultrasound, then needle biopsy. It feels like such a physical invasion, as well as the mental shock. I had gone to the clinic on my own, I was so convinced it would be nothing. I had to do the 30 mile drive back through a veil of tears and panic! I am glad you were able to be there with your mum.

My biopsy came back as cancer. That word puts such a fear in us, but you must remember the great majority of breast cancers are treatable and there are so many women out there who went through this years ago and are fine now. I heard of several friends and colleagues who’d either had it themselves or knew someone who’d had it years ago and regained full health. That was a huge comfort to me, as I hope it will be to your family.

When I got my diagnosis, I’d recently lost a dear neighbour to lung cancer, having lost my sister - aged 49 - to the same disease a few years ago. When I said this to the BCN (Breast Cancer Nurse - you get introduced to one as soon as you are diagnosed) she got quite cross with me, pointing out that breast cancer is VERY different from lung cancer - and MUCH more treatable.

Anyway, 12 months on and I’m back at work and getting back to normal. I was ‘lucky’ that I ‘only’ needed the lump removed and radiotherapy. Once you get your biopsy results, it really does get easier, as even if it is cancer (and as you say there’s a 90% chance it’s something else!); you get given a treatment plan so you have something to focus on. The waiting is always the worst part.

Your mum will be frightened, angry, frustrated and every other emotion you can think of. Let her rant and curse and cry, if she needs to, (but don’t take it personally). It is perfectly normal. We all did it.

Hopefully, her biopsy results will be a cause for celebration, but if not, she’ll be treated promptly and she’ll be on her way to getting rid of the ‘beast’. Don’t forget to let us know, so we can celebrate with you or give you support through the next stages.

It’s fine to be strong for your family - but do allow yourself time to let those emotions out too. (Put a soppy film on and use that as an excuse for a good cry?)
Hugs to you and your mum and family.

Hi Pinkaberry,
I am so sorry you find yourself in this predicament, and what a lovely daughter you are to your mum. She must be very proud of you.

I can promise you that being in the “waiting room” is the worst part of this journey. Fear of the unknown, and all the uncertainty is dreadful, but once you have the biopsy results you will be given an initial treatment plan and will know a lot more about your mum’s diagnosis than you do at the moment. All this will give you both some control and will relieve much of the stress. If it turns out to be cancer, your mum will be allocated a breast care nurse who will guide her through everything and who will always on the other end of a phone to answer questions. This forum will also give you a great deal of support. Meanwhile, just be there for her, take her out, do some girlie activities, some retail therapy, make sure she gets lots of fresh air and also lots of chocolate! The results will be ready very soon, and I wish you and your mum every bit of luck there is.

xxx

hello, my mum found out she had breast cancer on the 6TH of feb, at first i think we was all shocked and anxious to find out what would happen and when. i myself overheard my boyfriend talkin to my mum about it before id spoke to her because he answerd the fone before i could get to it, i instantly knew what it was because i new she had a lump but hadnt been investigated. i immediately went into strong mode, maybe abit of denial like it wasnt all real but i just felt i had to be brave for my mum who is angiepops on here who lives 600 miles away from me. my first thought was to get to scotland to be with her, we are goin to be there after her operation for a week, im sure the support your mum is getting from you just being there is enough. everybody copes in different ways so try not to feel under pressure and just be there for her, its a terrible thing and i think especially when its your mum. i have already started looking into fundrasing which makes me feel better personally. maybe just getting things off your chest will clear you head abit and keep you strong, try to think poitive, and once you know whats happening you may feel better xxxxxx