Hi Everyone. I’m new to this - had a normal screening session which showed up a lump. I had a biopsy done yesterday and have to go back in a week for the result and to see a surgeon. Trying to stay positive and have decided that I need to keep busy so am carrying on at work. The thing is I have to do next is to tell my (married) daughter and I am not looking forward to it - we had planned a family meal tonight so its seems like a good opportunity to tell her face to face. Any advice?
Hi MaggieM,
I hope you get good news, the waiting is hell, I know. Hold on to the fact that at least 8 out of 10 lumps are innocent. And if the results aren’t so good, the treatments available are very effective.
As for telling your daughter, I don’t know is the answer! I didn’t say anything to my children (25 and 28) until I’d been dx as I didn’t want to worry them. Once I knew, I told them quite quickly as I knew they needed to know and we could all then get on with it together. I found it helped me enormously having the support from my OH while waiting for the results and if you feel it will help by telling your daughter then it’s right for you. When I told mine, they were shocked, obviously, very upset but I told them what the treatment plan was, what the doctors were saying (all of which was positive) and that helped them deal with it.
Sorry can’t be of more help, I’m sure others will be along to give their support. I’ll have my fingers crossed for your results to be good.
Pat x
Hi Maggie,sorry you had to join us here but it is a great place for info help and support.
We were upfront with my children right from the start,2 difficult to hide going away for 4 hour hospital appointments and them not knowing why there routine had changed.They are 12 and 10 but we just took it one stage at a time,starting with,the lumpy boob is getting checked out,could be something or nothing…let’s try and not worry till we know what we are dealing with.Then went on to the hmm it is cancer but it is small and the op will sort it out and then see where we go from there.Lucky for me I didn’t have any spread and got relatively good prognosis. I tried to deal with it all in a positive manner just one step at a time because if you suppose too much or look at what ifs it will drive you bonkers !
The whole situation is very surreal,I look back at it,diagnosed in January,and still think it feels like it happened to someone else. But here I am out the other end and smiling as the sun is shining today. Keep chatting,it does help ,just remember you are not alone.Big hugs.
Sandra x
Sandra your post is very reassuring, I am in the same boat as you Maggie, I had my biopsy on Tuesday and have to get results next Tuesday. (It has been a very long week already). I told my three children, aged 24, 20 and 13, after the biopsy, it was a very hard thing to do and I got different reactions from each of them, but they have needed a few days to process the news and accept it, so whenever you tell your daughter she will need time to work through her own feelings but then I’m sure she will be a support for you.
I decided to tell them because the doctor at my biopsy seemed sure it is BC, so I need to have my support network round me, besides it’s really been a help this week being able to talk and share this sureal experience.
Good luck with your results.
as been said waiting is horrid,i been in your shoes and your child my dad had cancer my parents told us talked about it and their fears and opening up meant we could talk about how we felt so when i,m in same shoes now i remembered how closer we became and courage they showed was a comfort to me our son and his wife were the first to know from the start and know the strengh you show will help them cope that is worse case hopefully you be in clear and you won,t have done any harm by talking to your children about this all the best.
Thanks to all - I have told her, I decided it was best to prepare her. We had a long chat and she took it reasonably well (at the time sanyway). Fingers crossed for anyone awaiting results but like et my docter is pretty sure it is cancerpous. I had a lymph glad extraction too and thats more of a worry to me at this stage.
Good luck with your results Maggie, let us know how you get on.
Et