New to this site, and have been reading posts where I see I am not alone which helps… And am also seeing that many of you have had positive results from core biopsies, which is also helping.
I am 41, with two fantastic kids aged 10 and 7. A few weeks ago, I discovered a lump in my left breast. My GP said it felt quite soft and mobile, so was potentially a cyst or fibroid but nevertheless, would refer me to the the breast clinic. My appointment came thru for the following week, last Monday. At the clinic, the consultant examined me and said a similar thing to my GP, and sent me for a mammogram. After the mammogram, I was then called back in for an ultrasound, where I could clearly see the lump on the screen. The radiologist was lovely, but said it wasn’t a cyst, it was a hard lump, and they would then need to take a core biopsy, and was sent back down the corridor to see the specialist to sign forms etc. When I got back to the consultant, he said that unfortunately it wasn’t as straightforward as he first thought. Yes the lump was hard, but another lump had also been discovered in a lymph node under my armpit from which they would also need to take a biopsy. From that, he would discuss the results with his team, and asked me to come back next Wednesday to discuss the findings. I asked him if there was a possibility that it could be malignant. I obviously understand until the lab results are back that he can’t commit himself, but he did say it was ‘suspicious’.
This week has been the hardest, and longest week I have experienced. I am undergoing a myriad of emotions - fine one minute, brink of tears the next. A close friend of mine has been a great help; having gone through breast cancer treatment and a mastectomy herself, she has offered some brilliant advice. Many people have said to me to think positive - positive things happen to positive people. But ultimately, this is always there, playing on your mind, and the best advice my friend offered to me was ‘to prepare yourself for the worst, do as much as you can this week to keep busy, and if it’s good news on Wednesday, that’s a bonus.’ Sounds bizarre, but hearing this from my friend, who understands what that feeling of ‘helplessness’ and limbo whilst waiting for results is like, is the best piece of advice I’ve had!!
Yes I am still swinging between bouts of positiveness and negativity, but I’m also experiencing feelings of ‘if it is the worst, there’s nothing I can do about it, and will face what needs to happen.’ Yes it is hard, and yes I still feel like bursting into tears at the slightest thing. Struggling to sleep, suffering night sweats, and feeling nauseous through worry, but consoling myself that there are many of you out there experiencing the same feelings as me, and I’m not alone. Discovering this site and its forums has helped enormously… Wednesday can’t come soon enough!!!
Thinking of everyone out there and sending you all my love…
Dear Kitzie
Welcome to the BCC Forum. I am glad to hear that you have already found it supportive.
You could also give our Helpline a call to talk over your worries. They will be able to offer lots of information and support. The opening times are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays. The number is 0808 800 6000. Calls are free and confidential.
Take care
Very best wishes
Janet
BCC Moderator
Hi kitzie I started a similar post today so can appreciate your anxieties! you sound super positive and I’m a great believer in that helping - it certainly doesn’t make things worse. Keep posting and hang in there. Wishing you all the best x
Hi charmum. Thanks so much for your reply. To be honest, your post was one of the ones I’d read that prompted me to post my new thread!! You sound amazingly positive too, in fact much more than me - all that baking!!! Love cooking usually, but have found this week, we’ve had one decent home cooked meal. All the others have been fish and chips, salads and an asda curry!!! 
Lol. And I know what you mean about the sleeping thing. I find myself dozing off in the evening (I think it’s from the day’s adrenalin tiring you out) but as soon as get to bed… Bam!! Wide awake and restless nights!! Good luck with your results on Monday… Keep us posted xx
Hi again kitzie - just smiled at your comment about wide awake I feel like I’ve been drinking coffee all night and its so frustrating! I’m desperate to sleep but not happening! Ah well, more solitaire it is! And the cooking is ok to a point but my home made hummus Yesterday wasn’t as successful - it packed a punch and definitely would keep vampires away - oops! Roll on results day x
Hey!! You’ve just given me an idea!! Love houmous, haven’t made it for ages, but I’ve got all the ingredients. Hubbies birthday on Sunday and got some friends coming for james bond theme tomorrow… Cocktails and nibbles (he wanted to cancel, I said no, it’s his birthday weekend and I need a diversion). I shall now make some 
Hope you get some sleep soon, I can’t even concentrate with a book so I’m now off to the kitchen!!! Nite nite xxx
Hi all
I know how you feel. I was diagnosed in October had 2 lots of surgery and waiting SNB results on Monday at 10am.
Given I have LVI I’m fully expecting chemo to be part of treatment…
I cant sleep at all worrying about lymph node results… I’m relieved to know I’m not the only one distracting myself in the kitchen!
Taken up baking with mixed results you should see OH’s face when he gets up in the morning The look of dread thinking he has to be polite and try yet another batch of experimental cup cakes LOL… Freezer now full of weird and wonderful things …
Hey ho …only a couple more days to wait_.off back to the kitchen I’ve got something resembling mount Vesuvius in the oven._
Good luck to us all
Christine xxxxx
I really laughed when I read both your comments this morning! We should start a recipe list! Although kitzie I hope u have more sociable outcomes with your hummus - I overdid the garlic bigtime! Best of luck bakers, share anymore kitchen distractions! x
Hi there, I am too waiting for my guided core biopsy results and really worried too. My family and friends are not being helpful whatsoever, they all say “don’t worry” or “what will be, will be” and it’s not working, I feel isolated and so glad to have found this site and know I am not alone.
My story, I had some bumps and bruising under my breasts and 2 years ago went to my GP and showed him - he said it was excema and that was it. I got called for my first mammogram 2 weeks ago, I am 52 years of age. The Radiologist said they were sebacious cysts and when I looked up on the internet they matched exactly what she had said, so I wasn’t worried about them anymore.
Anyway, I got called back to the Breast Clinic and wasn’t worried whatsoever because thought they were just making sure the sebacious cysts were just that but alas they found a mass in my breast and I had to undergo a guided core biopsy and they took 4 samples out.
What has made me more worried is that fact my GP called me 4 times to ensure I had attended the clinic (he has never done this before for any hospital appointment) and that now they have moved forward my results appointment to this Tuesday instead of Thursday.
Hi Kitzie,
Your hubbie is born on a great day , it is my Birthday tomorrow as well. I think it is wonderful that you are still going ahead with your James Bond Evening and I am sure you will have fun and you may even sleep very well with a few glasses of red wine to do your blood good ! We all know it is so hard and you know it is hard but your best friend is right , prepare yourself for the worst so that you are not knocked sideways again. My GP mentioned the word tumour straightaway so I was fully prepared right from the word go. Enjoy your day tomorrow, have fun , smile, laugh , dance and sing but remember you will be able to do all these things again no matter what happens. Sending you big hugs and positive vibes. Love Tracy xxx
Hello Kitzie,
I am off work today so thought I would post to let you know we will all be thinking of you on Wed and all the others waiting for test results this week. I hope you had a good birthday celebration for your husband. My Mum cooked for 10 of us , as my cousin and her hubby are over from Australia so we had a good time. We tried lots of different wines and even had a red wine with flavours of chocolate to have with our sweet. It was strong and you only needed a small glass.
Well positive vibes for Wed, stay strong and dont forget to take someone with you to the Breast Clinic and a good magazine as the wait seems an age. Love Tracy xxx
Kitzi you are at the worst time just now, the not knowing stage is awful as everything grinds to a halt, fear takes over, it feels like life has stopped in its tracks. Whatever happens on Wed this week, it will get better. My DX was one year ago this month and things are so much better now, honestly.
Very best wishes,
3N3
Hi Ladies… Not been on here for a while, as have been on a bit of low with all the waiting, but have logged on today as feeling more positive, and can I thank you ALL for your messages of support. Tracy, your birthday sounded wonderful, and thanks so much for taking the time to post yesterday - Jeff had a good time too, we comprised a list of cocktails, and I steadily worked my way through them all. Friends came round with champagne and really entered into the spirit of things, all dressed up and then caught the last bus home… Was a top night with tons of laughs, just what was needed!!! cc - thinking of you today, keep us updated as to how you get on, thoughts are with you. CharMom, the baking/cookery fest has stopped. Keep thinking of what to have for dinner tonight, looking in freezer then realising I need a trip to the shops, and I’m not dressed. Mind you, would keep the customers amused and give them a giggle if I went down in my dressing gown and furry bootees, so might just try that one. And 3network… that is exactly what has happened. Everything’s ground to a halt, even the clock, but your words are inspirational xx
Thanks again everyone for all your support… results tomorrow morning, so not much longer to wait now.
Much love, and big, big bear hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 
We will all be thinking about you in the morning. Keep strong Kitzie and I am so pleased that your hubby’s birthday went with a swing. Going down the list of cocktails sounds right up my street.
Positive vibes are being sent your way. Love Tracy xxx
Good luck Kitzie. Thinkingof you big hugs xxxxx
Let us know how you are Kitzie we are all thinking of you . Tracy xxx
Hi Tracy and everyone, thanks thinking of me, and remembering yesterday was results day…
Well…Unfortunately the biopsies were positive… Didn’t quite register what the consultant was telling me at first because he was talking about a ‘lesion’. I then asked if it was malignant and he said yes, it was Invasive Ductal, Grade 3. Next steps now are a lumpectomy and lymph clearance on Tuesday, cannot believe it’s that quick!! Then radiotherapy about five weeks later. Depending on the pathology results after the surgery, the decision will be taken whether I then have chemo, but he said due to my age (i.e. young!!, yay - someone’s recognised 41 is young!!!), and the fact it’s not hormone receptive, the chances are I may need to.
In the back of my mind, I suppose I knew, like that feeling you get when you KNOW you’re pregnant before actually doing the test, so I was semi-prepared, and took my friend’s advice and had read (as much as I wanted to without scaring myself silly) in advance, and knew what to ask. The breast cancer nurse who spoke to me afterwards said I was certainly prepared, because I seemed to understand exactly what was being said. Think I also amazed the consultant when he said it wasn’t hormone receptive and I asked did that mean it was triple negative!! The reason I read up on that though was because I’ve been taking a progestergone-only pill for the past 3 years!!
It’s still not quite sunk in yet - I haven’t actually cried, although have welled up a few times. Today is going to be a day of contemplation, catching up on a few things I’ve been putting off, and the weekend will be spent getting the rest of the Christmas shopping finished, and of course, as I’m going to hospital, treating myself to some new pyjamas… I think I deserve them!
Thanks again everyone for all your support… I shall be on this forum for a little while longer now, posting my thoughts to everyone, and sharing your stories, the tears and the laughter…Life is a journey, and I’m glad I have you on it with me. Onwards and upwards…
Kitzie, (but real name is Jules) xxxxx