Hi Pippy
I think almost all of us can identify with your situation. I think that the waiting is one of the hardest things when it comes to breast cancer but, to be frank, this is just the start. Waiting is an unavoidable part of treatment, whether it’s waiting 2 hours for a simple blood test, waiting because your records have gone astray (even though it’s all online anyway) before you can have your chemo - or, hardest of all, waiting for results. I had to wait over three months for a particular test!
I can’t say how long you have to wait for the oncotype dx test as it depends what facilities your Trust has but it is essential to get all the data before finalising a treatment plan. In your case, being lymph negative may mean that they won’t recommend chemotherapy - or, harder, they’ll offer you the option. This is where the Predict tool comes in and, frankly, I don’t think patients should be advised to look at it. It’s just statistics and each of us is unique. The statistics are alarming! 64% survival over 15 years is actually quite good odds since it is surgery only. But if you consider those odds too low, there will be options, and the radiotherapy (which is considered the most effective all the adjuvant treatments).
Breast cancer is not easily forecast. No one can be sure how a cancer will behave, treated or not. And you can’t compare yourself to anyone else. Especially nowadays when even our DNA can determine what particular treatment we’re offered - and how we respond to it. I for instance now have secondary breast cancer because one of my tumours was triple negative, the most aggressive of the breast cancers and the treatments didn’t quite catch it all. The prognosis on diagnosis (which I discovered by accident, I wouldn’t have asked) was 9-13 months. Two years on, I’m still on my first line treatment and the department is bemused at what is/isn’t happening. So don’t rely on the statistics, except as the roughest guide.
I would offer two pieces of advice. First, carry on as normally as you can. Get those celebrations booked. Check your holiday insurance but, if you do go for chemo, ask the hospital how it can be fitted round your holiday. People do get chemo-breaks for many reasons. And work on your resilience skills because you are going to need them, particularly with the waiting. Mindfulness, meditation, diaphragmatic breathing, all these things truly do help. I wouldn’t have got by without my daily dose of Progressive Hypnosis’s meditations (free on YouTube). If you do go on to radiotherapy or chemo, you will find it invaluable.
Also, don’t apologise for what are perfectly normal and natural emotions. Some get angry, some collapse in a ball of sodden tissues, some blank it all out. This is not being un-positive (negative is the wrong word!). You are under no obligation to maintain a stiff upper lip, don a pink tutu and run a marathon, worthy though such actions are. Being positive to me means accepting where you are and where you are going, regardless of how you feel, trusting your team and just getting through to the other side, as you will, making the best of a rotten job. Having cancer doesn’t mean the world comes to a halt so enjoy those birthday celebrations.
Wishing you all the best for a good outcome,
Jan x