Waiting for results, going crazy


I’m looking for any words of encouragement as I feel like I’m losing my mind. Had my MRI yesterday and that was actually completely fine, not scary not painful at all. I also spoke to the BC nurse yesterday and felt pretty “up” all day - she did say that I’m likely to need more scans which panicked me a bit but will just have to take it as it comes.

Now I’m convincing myself that every other little thing I notice in my body - every twitch or ache or pain - is a sign that the cancer has already spread. I know the best thing is to keep busy and I’m trying to, but my mind is in overdrive, it’s like I can literally feel my brain whizzing like my head is going to explode.

hugs to anyone reading this, thank you xx 

Hi Teagold

I’m sorry you are stressed and feeling this way.

It is great news that your MRI went smoothly - appointments like that can cause us a lot of stress… it’s great that yours is done and that it went well.

I hope you are able to relax and focus on other things. If you think chatting to someone who understands may be helpful, please don’t think twice about calling us on freephone 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-4pm; Sat 9am-1pm).

Sending our warmest wishes your way x


Hi Teagold - you’ve had some very wise words from Feriel already, and another lovely message from Bernard. I totally understand how you are feeling, in fact I’m sure almost everyone on here can relate to that fear and noticing every ache and pain in their body and imagining the worst. When I had some counselling after treatment my counsellor suggested I try imagining a big door that I could close to stop me going down the rabbit hole of fear. Once I started going down the rabbit hole it was hard to come back, so I tried to stop myself by closing that door before I got started down the rabbit hole. I don’t know if that sort of thing could help you too - it’s a question of reading lots of ideas about how to manage and seeing if one of them “clicks” with you.

As Feriel suggests, try to take it one step at a time and concentrate on facts you know - and come back on here any time you feel like you are losing your mind and need to chat. And I mean any time, it doesn’t matter how often you come back and write another message.

Sending you love and hugs, please let us know how you get on - and keep chatting. Evie xx

Hi Teagold

I’m sending a virtual hug. I know exactly how you feel as I’m going through something similar, though maybe at a different stage, having had my diagnosis and treatment 2018-19. In my case it’s just something that needs to be checked out to be on the safe side but the biopsy has been delayed because of a local covid issue that led to all operations being cancelled. More waiting, not just for the little op but then for the results because the surgeon uttered the words ‘breast cancer’ and ‘high risk’ to me.

My way of looking at it is this - there isn’t a thing any of us can do to change the outcome. What will be, will be. There is as much chance of the result being fine as there is of it being back to breast cancer again for me. It may be different for you as you didn’t say where in your treatment you are. So we need to work on ways to look at things more positively and focus on strengthening our emotional health for both now (the terrible waiting time) and later (dealing with whatever treatments are presented to us as our ‘options’). I’m back to my lovely Progressive Hypnosis’s Manifest Healing (on YouTube), which sends me off with the fairies for a good respite and can also send me to sleep at night. There’s a massive range of videos to help with relaxation, refocusing the mind, dealing with negative emotions - I think it’s worth exploring. Others use apps like Calm and Headspace, both recommended by the NHS. Others take themselves on long walks or 5k runs! You need to choose something that will break this cycle of fear.

Everyone here will understand how you’re feeling. Many of us will be looking back with the wisdom of hindsight, recognising where maybe we went wrong in dealing with our emotions at the time. But I’m  certain many of us wish we’d done things just a little differently and this is one area where you can have some control, can make your own choices and possibly find some positive benefits, calming those adrenaline surges that feed our fears (or is it the other way round? Who cares! We just want to break that cycle).

I hope you manage to reduce the anxiety, get on with those other tests (a range of tests is not exceptional) and await the actual diagnosis with a little more ease. I wish you all the best,

Jan x

I couldn’t agree with you more. I too have had a CT scan (not MRI) and have been waiting two weeks for the results. Such a strange feeling knowing something is going to happen but not quite knowing what! I have my appointment tomorrow and although I’m nervous I will be glad to find out the plan! Time for big positive pants and DMs! I feel lucky that it can be treated in one way or another