Waiting game

Hi I’m newly diagnosed invasive LCiS, left breast. The MRI has shown a second 8mm ‘blip’ inferior to the previous lump which is about 1nch. Now I am waiting for a biopsy on the 12th march under ultrasound guidance and my consultant is seeing me on the 13th to discuss a plan. I’m new ally not sure what is in store? lumpectomies, mastectomy, with or without radiotherapy. I’ve been told more than likely chemo many reading so many of your messages I now this could change as post surgery the picture may be very different…I have only told my best friend, how does one tell OH or children? I’m struggling with this the most…also I’m Asian and our culture has a big taboo re the c word…Im just 50 yrs old, had a routine mammo in 2011 which was clear, then I felt this lump in January.


I am so sorry you find yourself on this forum - the place where no-one wants to be, but where we all get huge support, help and advice. It may be difficult telling your husband, but it is something you know you will have to do eventually, so to make matters easier for yourself I suggest the sooner the better. I understand the Asian culture and the word “cancer” don’t normally mix, but the fact is, the disease exists and you have it.
Perhaps you could show him the Macmillan booklet on “Understanding Breast Cancer” (I was given a copy by my breast care nurse) and help him to understand what all this will mean to you and the whole family over the coming months. It would also help if he went to your appointments with you - the one on the 13th would be a good start. The specialist doctors will answer all his questions. If he understands what the disease is and how it affects mental as well as physical well-being, he may be better placed to help and support you.

I can’t help you find a way to tell your children because you don’t say how old they are, and I have no experience of telling youngsters. It was hard telling my daughter, who is 42, but I did it the day after diagnosis and have an enormous amount of support from her. I can’t imagine getting through my journey without my daughter and my wonderful supportive husband. We all need support and help - and I am glad you have told your best friend. You will need her.

Good luck xxx

So sorry you are in this very awkward and awful situation. It is never easy telling any loved ones of such a diagnosis, especially when there are cultural barriers. As Lola said, OH will have to be told sooner rather than later. Do you have a religious leader or maybe an understanding friend of OH who might be able to help you tell him about it. There are lots of booklets, leaflets etc on here that we can download. This link will take you to the list
Also as Lola mentioned, if your hospital has a Macmillan centre, they have many booklets and leaflets too. Sending you good wishes.

Thank you Lola and Poemsgalore. I know I have to tell him sooner rather than later. My son is thirty and daughter is 25 But I don’t feel I can tell them just yet. Thank you so much for your thoughts and support, right now it’s all I have. GOd bless you both.

So sorry you have found yourself on this site, it is very difficult telling your children i was diagnosed early december but chose to wait until after xmas to tell my children who are of a similar age to yours 30 32 35 i told them soon after xmas day and they were pleased I told them when I did, it’s not easy telling family at the best of times, there are some very good leaflets available which may help you. Speak with your breast care nurse and tell her you situation. I am sure she will be able to offer you support and guidance. You are at such an early stage and really would benefit from having support
I wish you well and send you big hugs x

Thank you Lyn. Still can’t believe i am here…automatic pilot just going along doing usual work and routine…so surreal. Did you feel guilty of letting them down? I feel I have no right to upset their wonderful and happy worlds, careers, lives…after all as parents we strive to get them there and right now I could bring their worlds crashing down and turn their happiness into tears…