My wonderful daughter is 11 years old and she has been through so much over the last year with me having breast cancer and all the things that brings.
I have tried to find out about support for her and it seems that there is only support for her if I die rather than what she really needs right now.
Does anyone know if there any organisation that will give her that support.
she is such a lovely special girl and I know she is going through hell although she keeps saying she is ok.
Karen x
Hi Karen
Have you tried Macmillan. When my parents were ill a few years ago they offered me and my children support and counselling to help us as they feel that the better the rest of the family is supported then the better it is for the person with cancer,
Ali.
Oh Karen, you are really suffering at the moment aren’t you, so firstly huge hugs to you and Mary. Xxxxx
secondly I think mcmillan do child support stuff , though I haven’t used it.
There are other support services I recall Reading about but I have no first hand info, but am sure other ladies in the know will soon help you out.
Take care and stop battering yourself
Vickie
xxxx
vickie,
you are so right and finding it very hard right now and so worried about Mary. She told me tonight that she is being bullied at school and that concerns me so much. Why are kids so cruel ?
My emotions are all over the place at the moment and really don’t know how to move forward.
drinking too much wine and feeling way too sorry for myself !!
Thank you for your support.
K x
Don’t get me started on schools! Grrrr teaching assistants, grrrrr.
Are you going to pop in and see what’s going on? Bullying is vile and they need to stop it, now. Do you think spending time together on your holiday has made you more emotional at the moment too? You have do many different things happening you are bound to buckle under the strain sometimes, but u have come thru
it before and will again. Put the bl@@dy wine away though, u need a clear head to get through this. Get the chocs out instead, five quid for a big tin Of roses in sainsburys. I should know, I have eaten the tin I bought as s thsnkyou to my gp surgery.!
Huggggssss
vickie
Hi Sorry to hear how worried you are about your little girl, I have an 11 year old daughter, so I know how that feels.
Have you thought about asking for support from the school nursing service. I work as a shool nurse and supporting children with emotional needs and bullying issues is certainly an important part of our job. We can also refer to appropriate services. Give it a try, the school should be able to advise you on how to contact the school nurse, take care Mand
Hi
I have access to a family councillor through Macmillan. She is very good and is on stand by to go into school if there are problems or just need advice. I got this service through my gp referri g me to a Mac nurse who asked what I wanted. It is nice to have someone who is just there to be on the kids side. I see her every three weeks to cat h up on how the kids are and to discuss any help we need. Dx
Hi,
my daughter was also 11 when I was diagnosed, we were given a book for her from the winstons wish charity about a person who was ill in the family, my daughter used this book to draw/and write about out how she felt, it also came with a handbook for me on how to handle things.
I don’t know if you have used this.
I have found it difficult to get her help, the school did help by offering her a place to go if she needed time out or to talk to someone.
Hi, my boys are 9&10, and the little one has been bullied at school. It is the most horrible thing. Each school has an anti bullying policy and a point of contact. You should speak to the class teacher and if not appropriately addressed go to the head. My son was suffering psychologically and I asked the school to refer him to the LEA’s child psychologist, whom he then saw at school for six sessions. I also got my GP to refer him to the Children’s Mental Health support and we then had a few family councilling sessions to help him cope. I am sure your local NHS trust has similar services. I am glad we were persistent in asking as he did very well with the extra support and they have largely dealt ok with everything that happened this year. It’s a tricky age group. Please look after yourself and hope you get your support! X
My Local Hospice has a service that people can access even after Primary Diagnosis – The word ‘Hospice’ is very scary – but they have been fab – and I’m a million miles away from throwing in the towel!! They are supporting my daughter who is 15 by text (sounds odd, but works for teenagers) and my son (aged 11) can also access this if he wants to (more interested in football at the moment!!). They are also providing counseling for me and my mother. Thought I would mention this and maybe your local Hospice may be able to help you too – if you can get over the word ‘Hospice’. Let me know if I can be of any other help – and I hope your daughter (and all our daughters and sons) is OK thought this unbelievably difficult time!
Sadie
thank you all for your suggestions. I will be following them up.
Thought I would let you know how mature Mary has been about the bullying. She sent a text to the school bully helpline and they have been brilliant. They spoke to the boys concerned and they have both apologised to Mary today. She has been allocated a sixth former to talk to if she needs to and the helpline will be checking how she is over the next few days.
She didn’t want me to get involved and, although it was difficult, I had to respect her decision and I am very proud of how she has acted.
I have a MacMillan counsellor but she didn’t seem to be aware of any help available for Mary so think I will give them a call first thing tomorrow.
Thank you all again
K x
Go Mary, go Mary, go Mary, go Mary,…
Glad that thebullying issue at least seems to be resolving. Lost a post last night where I was pondering whether to do the tried and tested and very successful garden centre meet up again within the next few weeks, or whether to suggest lunch in Manchester, possibly with mucho vino. Mmm, Karen what would your votebe?
Hi Karen,
I think there is a web site called riprap which is designed for teenagers coping with cancer in the family. I might not have the correct name but if you put it in asearch engine I am sure you will be able to find it. My 13 year old daughter has just supported her friend who’s Mum was diagnosed about 10 months behind me, children often have inner resources that we do not give them credit for.
Love to both of you,
Jane x
post deleted
i, Karen, just popped on here although my “little girl” is now 31, but was bullied at school when she was 13 because she was different, ie tall for her age and artistic, she was self harming and we didn’t know anything about till we got a call from the school nurse. your Mary sounds very mature and resourceful and you must be releived to know that she is getting support at school.
wishing you good luck
Carol
was struggling to get support, had tried many avenues
Today got a call from Mary’s school and they have offered her a mentor and a chance to go out with other people in her position.
So wish she didn’t have to go through it but at least feel that finally she has some support.
K x
Hi Kay,
I’m glad to hear that your daughter is getting some support now, but if you feel she needs something more please do give the helpline here a ring they may be able to put you in touch with other organisations.
Take care,
Jo, Facilitator
K,
Sorry I didn’t think of this before, but I’ve not been with it really latley (tax sucks!), but just had a thought, Kirsty is 14 (year 9) and maybe Mary might like to talk to her. Kirsty has been very quiet through all my treatment and not wanted to talk about it at all, school know what I am going through and have been there for her, they have a teacher who she can go and talk to whenever she needs to, about anything she wants to.
I’m sure if I asked then Kirsty would be happy to talk to her on the phone or facebook, or even by email as we all know its easier to write our feelings down. I have found having friends who are going through/been through the same thing invaluble to talk to.
Tracey xxxxxxx
Hi Tracey,
that’s a lovely thought. Will talk to Mary about it later tonight and let you know.
Maybe, once the Tax truck has gone, we could meet up as you are not far away from me.
K x