It must be very difficult for you trying to keep your wife cheerful at the moment - but we are all different and all react in different ways to our dx, treatment and future. BUT I think your wife has an excellent prognosis with no vascular invasion and no lymph node involvement, does she understand the difference this makes to her? The chemo is the belt and braces bit: and then with the radiotherapy on top of that, are you sure about 6 1/2 weeks of rads - that seems a very long time? But she will be well and truly treated with that lot and she should not be in despair about her future. Very best wishes to you both.
Worry is a weird thing. It can consume us, it can be a complete waste of our energies and time so we should avoid it but we can’t help it.
Sometimes I think that it has been easier on me to be diagnosed with secondaries straight off as I’ve missed out on the post-primary diagnosis/treatment worry. For me, advanced BC is a fact not a worry. Of course I worry about the future at times but I can’t change it (or at least I don’t think so) so I try and just get on with life.
I can imagine that post primary diagnosis, the worry is huge. On the one hand, there may be nothing to worry about in the future. On the other, this sneaky thing may one day reappear. There is no middle ground. Howard, your wife sounds as if she has a pretty good chance (but chance is all it is -for any of us, even for the many women who don’t have cancer) of being in the former group and she will learn to live with her experience and knowledge. It really still is very early for her. You will have to just be as supportive as you can be, while coming on here to get some support for yourself.
When I hear about Jade Goody and now Wendy Richards, it reminds me that with this disease we all have to face our own mortality (as we all know though, we never were immortal anyway!) and I too have found all the publicity and constant reminders pretty difficult. For Jade, it is too late to hope for anything other than comfort and no pain (God bless her). Wendy Richards actually should be a beacon of hope. She had her painful diagnoses but appeared to participate fully in life and certainly gave us much entertainment and joy. That is what we should all try and do and not let this b**** disease ruin our time in this wonderful world. She still died too young though.
I hope your wife’s worries will lessen soon. For now, I would just like to add my condolences to Wendy’s friends and family and best wishes to everyone.
Anne
This is very sad news again and very difficult for everyone in the middle of treatment. When I was in the middle of my treatment Jane Tomlinson passed away and it knocked my confidence about my ability to get through what was happening so I understand how hard it is when its on the news and headlines in the papers.
However I am now approaching 2 years since DX and [fingers/toes/everything crossed] all is well at the moment. I have a check up coming up which I am dreading but I know that my family will help me through it as they always do.
None of us know what the future holds for us but with the love of friends and family, a good dollop of laughter and knowing beyond doubt that the sun is shining just for us we live the life we have.
I have been following Wendy’s story over the past few years and I am really sorry to learn that she has died. I can remember her from her ‘Come Outside’ days, through her ‘Miss Brahms’ days and then in her fantastic role as Pauline in EastEnders (I vividly remember her screen death too). She was a stalwart of the old school of British acting and I will miss her on our screens.
Rest in Peace Wendy, there’s a luverly moon out there…