I thought April was April fools month, i found my mum by her bed she’d had a massive stroke, three days later she died. we had her funeral on the thursday and i found a small lump on the monday, went to docs, she said it was probably an infected cyst, referred me to hospital the next week, had biopsy. Last thursday the consultant (who had told me it was nothing sinister) told me I had a little breast cancer. POW good job my hubby was there. I don’t think I heard much for a while. Op on the 29th May, but what do i ask. You all sound like you know everything about your BC, I feel i know nothing. WHAT do i ask???
Dear bmt56
Firstly can I welcome you the the forums, I am sorry to read of your recent diagnosis. Breast Cancer Care have published a Resource Pack, it has been designed for anyone newly diagnosed with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and various treatments, it is available via the following link or by contacting the helpline: breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514 You may find our helpline useful to call to talk through the concerns you have about surgery and treatment options, they can talk to you about our other support services too and also offer support, information and a ‘listening ear’. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 Monday - Friday, 9am - 5pm, Saturday, 9am - 2pm. I hope you find this helpful.
Best wishes
Katie
WOW bmt56 you have had an awful lot to cope with in such a short space of time. It does sound as if things are happening fast for you and that is good. Most of us find the waiting is the hardest to cope with. Once we have a plan of action an treatment starts you begin to feel more in control. I think too we all start from the point of knowing nothing and learning as we go and the forums will help you both as a place of support and a good source of information. BCC have some excellent publications and I am sure the Moderator will post the information here for you. Much of it can be read online too if you go into the website. After your op the consultant will be able to give you a lot more information about the type of breast cancer you have and discuss with you the treatment plan. Do you know yet what type of operation you will be having?
Stick with the forums here and ask all the questions you want - some of us have been living with breast cancer for many years, and there are others like yourself who have just been diagnosed so between us I think you could say we have seen it all!! I was diagnosed myself 18 years ago now.
dawnhc
xxx
First of all my condolances on the loss of your Mum. And a dx of BC so soon afterwards is just so so cruel (I found my lump a month after my best friend passed away aged 41 from a stroke). This site is a wonderful source of information and support - someone will always know the answer and there is no such thing as a stupid question.
What you ask really depends on how much information you want to know. Generally the consultant will give you the information as it arises. At this stage I would be very careful as to how much information you look up on the internet or in books etc until you know what sort of cancer you have and what treatment you are going to need… no point in checking out all the side effects of chemo if you are not going to need it.
basically what is important is
what surgey you are going to have - lumpectomy (WLE) or mastectomy
what size is the tumour
what type of tumour is it
what grade/stage is it
is it hormone receptive (this is usually abbreviated to er+ for eostrogne and pr+ for progesteron) - this determines whether you need hormone therapy
what is the HER2 status (again usually abbreviated to HER2+ or HER2-) - this determines whether you need herceptin
Lymph nodes - are any affected, if so how many
what is your treatment plan
where will you be treated
Some of the questions can be answered at this stage - others need to wait for further test results or until after surgery. I’m sure others will be along soon with more to add.
I personally knew nothing at all about breast cancer until after my surgery and my initial visit to the oncologist - I thought breast cancer was just breast cancer, I didn’t know that there were different types.
thank you for the questions to ask. BC nurse is ringig me monday so i will be armed with a few I dont know the answer to. The lump is just under my right breast is 2cm and I am having that removed and they are injecting me with isotopes and dye to track where it leads to. Thats all I cna remember him saying.
When I visist the onc dept the BCNurse gave me a folder with various sections in it - one of the sections was FAQ’s and another was a bit where you could write down any questions you wnated answers to. A lot of others have said about writing down your questions and then writing down the answers … it’s logical cos at this stage there is so much information being thrown at you and only a small portion of it sinks in cos you are still trying to get your head around the fact that you have just been told that you have BC.
Hi there
What a horrible time for you. I can’t imagine what you must feel like - fairly numb at the moment, I expect. Like Lilac says (shes very sensible, listen carefully to her!!) some of the questions may not have full answers until after surgery as they have a much better idea what’s what once the lump has gone and the guys in the lab looked at it thoroughly. After that, ask for a copy of your pathology report and ask the oncologist/surgeon or BC nurse to go through it with you. I was very much in the dark until I had the pathology report - the surgeon wouldn’t be drawn on exactly what treatment he had in mind until he had seen this after surgery. Good luck with everything, Cathyxxx
thank you both so very much
Bridie
Hi bmt56
So sorry to hear what an awful time you’ve been having. This is a great site and you will find lots of information and support. I found it very useful to write the questions down in the house as I thought of them. You know what it’s like in these appointments…your head turns to mush and emotions kick in and then you get home and think that you forgot to ask some questions…which in turn leads to more worry. My consultant was always more than happy to see my bit of paper coming out of the bag! I also found it useful to write down things too because you do forget things so easily. Take it easy and don’t scare yourself reading too deeply into things at this early stage. The internet can be very useful but also you read things that scare the s**t out of you.
Hang on in there. We are all thinking of you
X
I would like know when I actually turned sensible?
must have been half way through being zapped!!! I am waiting for my sensibility to kick in
Lilac,I think you got sensible when you hit the Beatson.My mate was there 3 years ago and she’s a mine of information.I have my first appointment there on 21st so hope to get a bit more sensible too.
bmt56- I agree with everyone else.Only read what’s relevant at each stage.You may be lucky and not have to move through every stage.I find that these forums have been the most useful source of information and support.However, you will find loads of help at the clinics as well.
Good Luck!
Tricia
xxx
I’m really sorry to hear about your traumatic times. My mother died last year after a brief and wholely unexpected illness, and I was dx three weeks later, equally out of the blue. (aged 44, no risk factors).
You need to be really kind to yourself and try to look after yourself. Easier said than done, I know.
A lot of last year,especially when I was going through chemotherapy, I was aware that I just couldn’t deal, mentally, with my mum’s death. I knew it was there, but it was like I had shut that bit of my brain off as I needed all my strength to deal with my health (and clearing out mum’s house, my old family home).
I also had counselling, recommended by a BC nurse when I was in hospital following my mastectomy. I think that really helped.
I now feel that I am going through the grieving process that I would have gone through last year in other circumstances.
When I was dx last year I bought myself a sturdy notebook. I take it with me to every appointment, and make notes of anything I will need to remember. I also record in it dates of appointments etc so I have a full record for the future if it’s ever needed. It’s also useful to tuck other papers inside (appointment cards, blood test forms etc) so that everything is together all the time & I don’t forget any of these important things when I go to the hospital.
Thank you Roadrunner. I dug out my old filofax I used when i was at work and have started using that. BC nurse rang this morning lots of questions will be answered after the op. I cannot settle to do anything at the moment and my mind just wanders off on its own little self. i must learn to rein it in.
regards all
Bridie
I now have my pre op appoointment.
My dr has given me sleeping tabs to help me stay asleep. I dream real scary dreams of dft things in my life going wrong, things at work, then i wake and cant get to sleep. Since mums death i probably have 1 good nights sleep and then the dx.
Hope everything is going allright with else
god bless
bridie