— edited to say I realise now I should have put this in the treatment forum. Sorry about that —
Hi all,
I was diagnosed 15 days ago, and my wide local excision (lumpectomy) surgery is scheduled for Saturday. (Grade 1, small, invasive, ER+). It’s all happened very fast and of course I’m grateful, but also, my head is spinning somewhat and I want to do what I can to prepare myself.
I missed a call from the breast clinic earlier and I’m trying not to spin out. So productive planning it is. Then I’ll bath and try to sleep then phone them asap in the morning.
I’m doing the basics to look after my body, staying somewhat active, eating healthily, trying to sleep well and staying hydrated. I’ve thought about clothes for recovery. We’ve given some thought to simple meals for the days after.
The problem is, I don’t know what I don’t know! So what did you wish you knew before your surgery, or what was the best advice you received?
Thanks,
Kelly
Dear Kelly,
We are all here for you, and I must say how well organised you are, looking after yourself and thinking ahead, at this moment, I would just say to you just take one day at a time. As you said everything happened so fast and your head is in a spin. I can remember this all very well myself,
Thinking back to myself I did have a lot of very good friends and family around me, but sometimes this can all be too much as you do need to rest after surgery all the lovely telephone calls and visits from friends It’s all very nice but very tiring, so be kind to yourself it lots of TLC.
Wishing you well going forward with health and happiness, hopefully some nice weather so you will be able to relax.
biggest hugs brave lady Tili 
Hello @Kelle
I can only really second what @Tili has said.
Unfortunately you have found yourself in club that no-one chooses to join and you are going to have to cede control of so much of what you consider to be your “normal” life.
What I’ve learned more than anything from my BC treatment is how to accept things I can’t control and only worry about the things I can control and how to focus on ME!
Tili’s advice to just focus on one day at a time is absolutely the best thing to do.
In practical terms it sounds like you have thought through what you are going to need in the initial period following your surgery
I guess what I am saying is I wish I had understood and appreciated that the effects of a breast cancer diagnosis on your mental and psychological health are not related to the size of your tumour or your treatment plan, there is no such thing as a breast cancer “warrior”, we are all just people who have drawn the wrong card from the pack doing what we have to do and it is absolutely OK to ask for help when you need it.
Breast cancer world is full of some of the kindest most caring people who understand
Wishing you all the best for your surgery and any treatment beyond
AM xxx
Hi Kelly
There is some excellent advice here. I would add one thing - that nothing is static in this new territory. A diagnosis can change (for the better as easily as for the worse), the form of surgery can change according to the surgeon’s findings, treatment plans can change… and this is something you can do nothing about. You can’t predict whether you’ll bounce back as soon as the GA is out of your system or want to stay curled in a protective ball for a fortnight. You can’t compare yourself with anyone else because there are too many unpredictable factors involved. You also can’t measure yourself and your emotions against anyone else - grade 1, grade 3, stage 1, stage 3, a cancer diagnosis turns your world inside out wherever you are and there is no competition, no scale of suffering. Remember this if you do end up feeling sh**.
So, do what you’re doing, what you would do in preparation for any surgery - it sounds like a healthy approach. Pay as much attention to your mental and emotional wellbeing as you are to your physical wellbeing - it’s half the ‘battle’ - do things that might help with resilience if you get hit by the unexpected - diaphragmatic breathing, mindfulness, meditation, yoga. Such things always hold you in good stead anyway. And trust your team - no second-guessing, no Googling - they know their stuff.
What do I wish I’d known? That I’d have a drain dangling from me with no advice how to handle it (highly unlikely with a lumpectomy) - it caused some hilarious moments - and that my husband’s unwanted shirts were by far the best things in the wardrobe! Also that those breast exercises you bring home may be for life, not just the next few weeks!
I hope everything goes smoothly and you recover quickly, never to be troubled again. If further treatment is required to ensure full recovery, my advice is to take anything that is offered, so you feel confident you’ve managed this as well as you can.
Jan x
Hi Kelly
Firstly, sorry to find you here. Everyone has given lots of great advice and it sounds like you’ve thankfully caught it early and are well prepared for surgery and recovery.
Some more random stuff… I took a pot of cinnamon porridge in with me - sadly beats hospital food! You’ll likely feel quite vulnerable afterwards - take time to heal emotionally as well as physically. I was fit and active before too - it can take time to bounce back and it can be frustrating at times, so be kind to yourself.
Perhaps the best advice I got was from a surgeon friend to ‘go with the flow’. My surgeon changed the position of the incision to get a better cosmetic result as she was marking me up for the op! I had a therapeutic mammoplasty, and instead of a horizontal scar in my cleavage she went in at a more difficult angle and gave me an almost vertical scar that won’t be seen, at least clothed Trust in your medical team, they will take excellent care of you and your BCN is always there for you.
All the very best with your treatment and recovery.
JS64