What does a hug feel like after a mastectomy?

What does a hug feel like after a mastectomy?

What does a hug feel like after a mastectomy? Dear All

I am having a right mastectomy mid August. Just wondered if anyone can let me know what sensations you are left with on your chest wall? Or what it actually feels like when you give someone a hug - not so much OHs but babies and children. What part of the feel good factor of a hug actually comes from physically feeling it in your breast ?

At the moment I know I will still have a “left side” to compensate, but I am building up to pushing for a bilateral mastectomy (have lobular, multifocal bc in the right breast and just dont want it to ever happen in the left). If I pushed for a bilateral mastectomy what would I really be missing out on ? I have ruled out image as will have a right mastectomy anyway and am left with what sensations ill have when wrapping my arms around my family?

Thanks

Jane

Jane

I was diagnosed with Invasive Lobular last April in the right breast, but since this one is not commonly detected by mammogram (until it is huge) and seems somewhat more likely to occur in the other breast within a few years, I opted for a bilateral mastectomy and have never regretted it.

As to the HUGS, I hope you and your family, like my Husband, will tell you " Now we can get closer"

Good luck, try to talk to your family about it. We got through on ‘black humour’ and terrible jokes, but it worked.

Keruval

All for black humour Hi Keruval
Many thanks for the message - like your approach to the BC. You have to have some black humour or you`d never get through.

Spoke to a breast care nurse 1st thing this morning on the phone (after another sleepless night my OH insisted I phoned at 8.30) - she was really understanding and reassuring about my concerns - never spoken to the BCNs before. She has arranged an appointment with the consultant for Mon next week so that I can ask him the same things and discuss the prospect of a left breast mastectomy mastectomy. After going through it with her I feel less intimidated and reasured its an option that alot of woman consider. However, its not “offerred” as such by my consultant, but he wont dissmiss it (ifelt that he would).

Cuddled the baby to sleep this aft and began to think that without my 40F chest in the way I could get closer and maybe she`d have had a bit more room ! Maybe it would help with my backache and the round shoulders too.

Thanks
Take care
Jane

Hi Jane,

I had my left breast removed in March and I’m beginning to get feeling back. I too have lobular cancer, with extensive LCIS in right breast which will be removed within the next year.

Today I held a six week old baby against my left side, and it felt every bit as wonderful with or without my breast!

Best wishes to you,
love

Jacki xx

Hi Jacki Many thanks for your message, I am feeling better about things all the time. A baby cuddle is a lovely thing - that dosy look they give you is amazing, and so trusting.

Can I just ask was a bilateral mastectomy an option ? I am thinkng that I definitely want a left breast mastectomy, but maybe not in August at the same time as the right breast. Have you found that time in between to get over things has been good ? I think I am underestimating how much that time is needed.

Take care
Jane

I can’t exactly remember who suggested I could opt for a bilateral and it looked as if the surgeon might have the final decision. I had my op 2 weeks after diagnosis so there wasn’t a lot of time for thinking about it.

I requested a bilateral, all to be done at the same time as I think, unless there are critical circumstances, they do not like doing more major surgery within 6 mths or even a year. Some surgeons do not like removing a ‘healthy’ breast at all and refuse to do so.

For me, apart from the higher risk, I wanted to look balanced and it was a major psychological factor. Your outlook and psychology is a very important factor in your recovery and subsequent life. So if you feel this decision (bilateral) is right for you, make your opinions known and firm.

All the medical staff kept checking with me at all stages of my pre-op check and admittance checks. The surgeon made the final enquiry that this was what I wanted as I was waiting to go into the pre-theatre lobby.

The inconvenience is you don’t have a ‘good arm’ for a few weeks or months even. Everyone seems different in recovery period. I was told at first “it is early days yet” when I got impatient, then it became “it is early MONTHS yet” - LOL!!! I still have some minor problems after 14 mths but nothing that stops normal daily life. However some of my health related problems are carried over from before the BC op and nothing to do with it at all.

I am retired so I don’t have the problem of returning to work.

Hi Keruval
Thanks again for the message and useful comments - hadnt thought of the use of arms after the surgery. for example Have already been telling my little boy I cant pick him up as I have a sore arm, this isnt such a white lie as my arms are very sore from the chemotherapy infusions. Its right that people are concerned that we make the right choices for us and the relctance to remove healthy tissue is understandable. Have my meeting on Monday so all the info I have for the pros and cons the betterand wil go with what they recomend for me. Did you ever do the recommended thing and actually take a written list of Qs with you to the Drs ? It always recomend this, but cant imagine doing it.
Thanks
Jane

Hi Jane,

My Consultant/Surgeon didn’t want me to have both breasts removed at the same time. Only the left had the tumours in so he thought it better to just remove that one first. He said he wouldn’t know until after the op if I needed chemo and said the recovery time would be longer with a bi-lateral mastectomy and if I did need chemo, he wanted to get going, with me as healthy as poss. As it turned out, I only had three lymph nodes out and there was no spread. Because my cancer is 100% oestrogen and progesterone positive, he felt that I would do better on Tamoxifen than having chemo.

I had my mastectomy in March. I still get a bit sore and can’t lift heavy things, but I’m improving. Having to deal with the Tamoxifen has been tough and I’ll soon have to have Zoladex injections as well. My Consultant isn’t in a hurry to remove the other breast even though it is full of LCIS (I also had that in my left breast). I want the other breast removed more for psychological reasons than the fear of getting cancer again. I feel very lop-sided and I’ve always hated having breasts so removing the remaining one is something I want very much. It will be removed within the next year I’ve been told. I’m going for a prosthesis fitting on Monday, which I’m not looking forward to, but I promised my Consultant I’d at least give it a try…

I’m very right-handed and since having a mastectomy really effects your whole side, it is wise for me to wait until my left side has healed. My Consultant said that it could take 4-6 months to get back to how I was before the op.

By the way, I always take a list of questions to ask at my appointments cos I have a terrible memory, and the Tamoxifen certainly hasn’t helped with that!! I also write stuff down if I need to.

love,
Jacki xx

Hi Jacki
You mentioned the getting over one side before having the other one done. I hadnt appreciated how much one side might be out of action and this is really good to now hear from you and Keruval.

The prosthesis fitting doesnt sound like much fun - I have been reading about whats available. It sounds like the people involved will be very helpful and sensitive, buts its yet another thing we have to go through. From the 1st breast examination it doesnt get any easier I find, all the healthcare people involved are kind and sensitive, but its still always stressful I find. Black hmour has to rule, I had to laugh when I first had the ultrasound and was laid on the couch naked from the waist up - waiting for the ultrasound person to arrive. I was kindly provided with one piece of blue tissue to cover my chest, but with 40F and just had a baby I was left with 3 choices, cover the right breast, the left breast or place it in the middle with both breasts on show at the sides. |Either way we pulled the tissue it just didnt do anything !
I have the weekend to compile my list so with the bad weather it will be pretty long.
Good luck for Monday
Jane

Hi Jane,

I had lobular cancer and dcis in my right breast with no clear margins after having wle last July so was advised by me breast surgeon to have a bilateral mastectomy due to the higher risk of lobular developing in the left breast. When told this my world fell apart I couldn’t imagine not having any breasts, I am 42 and asked my surgeon if I could have immediate reconstruction but was told as they didn’t know at that point whether or not I would need chemo or rads they couldn’t do it. As it turned out I didn’t need either so now on tamoxifen, and monthly injections to suppress ovaries. My point is I am now 6 weeks post reconstruction using the back muscle and skin and am delighted with the result, because I had bilateral mastectomy the plastic surgeon had a blank canvas to work on so the pair match perfectly this is something to think about if you want recon

Hope all goes well
Take care
Kaz
xx

a hug is a hug…boobs or no boobs, cant beat them to make you feel better. My two give me all the hugs i could ever need…and as my eldest daughter who is 8…gives me loads so i can keep some in the bank bless her

Hi Jane

Just wanted to make a positive comment about your potential loss of both boobs. My sister has large boobs and has suffered from a very bad back for over twenty yrs since her boobs have grown with babies and weight gain. She has been offered a breast reduction to help solve this prob. So far she has held back but is considering it. So this may help you in that dept. She does not have BC though.

Irene

Dear All
Many thanks for your comments which helped me alot to figure out some pros and cons from practical and psychological side of things. Spoke to consultant this morning and he ws very sympathetic about concerns etc. not surprised and mapped out a possible way forward that co-incided with what I had began to feel would be right for me also. So it was an easy discussion. He didnt really talk about a bilateral mastectomy at the end of August. He sees the right breast mastectomy Ill have then as a way of dealing with the local disease only. I didnt push for this due to the practical advice on needing good use of 1 arm and getting over such a big op etc. and also can see where he is coming from he emphasisied a sequential approach and looking for and focussing on the positive outcome of the mastectomy and chemotherapy which will have dealt with the BC that I have. Then as I will be looking at a re-construction in about a years time they can do a left breast mastectomy at this time. So I feel much better now there is a “plan”. It was a bit along the lines of re-assurance, and I did wonder a bit why I had needed this from him. But of course this was after I`d received it.
Having been able to write my thoughts down in the messages, and the comments and advice from you all has been invaluable. I am sleeping better and better each night and hope for some good ZZZZzzzs tonight. In a years time I can look forward to a reduced size pair of boobs and less back ache - which was my main complaint in life before all this (thanks Irene for remiding me of this side of things)
Take care
Jane