What gets you through and keeps you going? In need of inspiration and ideas....

Hi all,

I posted on here some months ago when all was uncertain 're my diagnosis…

Well now it has all been cleared up, I have just finished FECT chemo, about to start radiotherapy to be told I have liver Mets which have shrunk but are still there post chemo… gutted…

I have read many of your posts and there are some amazing ladies out there…

I would like some feedback on the emotional side of life…

I am sick of listening to people telling me how they think I should be dealing with this when they have no B.C. experience themselves, and I also don’t want to talk about it a lot of the time…

What helps to keep you all sane/calm/relaxed?

How do you keep going…?

I have 2 young children so I am absolutely determined to fight this as hard as I can, but I am definitely a bit lost with the crapness of it at the moment (I was only confirmed with the Mets this week…)

Help/advice very needed and welcomed… xxx

Hello Leo, sorry about your diagnosis…not easy is it to take so much bad news on board out of the blue. Good you decided to joun us here tho, we are all here for you, so do keep sharing. I like your fighting spirit!


Yes, I am on your page about people without cancer telling us how to cope…its B annoying. They dont know how to help or what to say…I guess.  Noone can know exactly how awful it is to be on this particular train journey unless they are on it too.


How do we keep sane? Well, by sharing with each other as much as we need to. The time just after getting the diagnosis tends to be the worst time because there are so many unknowns…once the treatment plan is well under way…and it sounds as if yours is…then gradually we adapt to the new situation as we come to terms with what we have learned. … Have you been offered more chemo?  


I was diagnosed and had pre op chemo in 2001, I still needed a mastectomy. When they examined the lymph nodes they were 12/13 positive and cancer had spread into my armpit tissue.


i was offered more chemo and took  up the offer because I felt I wanted to do all 

i could to get rid off the cancer. It sounds as though your liver mets have shrunk and that is a good signxx

I, also have liver mets plus bone mets.


you may have all sorts of worries and these seem to be worse late at night when we’re alone. One way i cope is by trying to make contracts with myself about when im allowed to worry freely, set a time limit in my head. Often when the time comes, im less worried!


i might repeat a mantra or phrase in my head over and over again, to leave less space for the worry to take place,      If I have unanswered questions, I try to see my onc asap.


i hope things soon settle down a bit for you


love and hugs




I was diagnosed in July with secondary mets in spine X hip so like you it still very new I am 47 with 5 beautiful grandchildren, if I honest I taking day by day I have good days where I forget it then other days where I really sad.

I had the fec t chemo last April and that can make you very emotional as well,I have been visited by the McMillan nurse who I must say was fab she told me about different groups and even day centres

Just remember you not alone, there is a lot of us on here doing the same journey

Sending big hugs

Karen xxxxx

You have what you need to keep going…ypur family…and we all get confused and blocked some days
Yes it is crap cards…at least your Mets have shrunk there are lots of us with liver Mets and lots of treatments for it…you will get good days .try deep breathing count to five and breathe out slowly
…if you can get Reiki or reflexology .ask your nurse they may have free sessions.not cure but fabulous relaxation therapy…take care Sharon x

Hi Helen I had councelling at my local hospice the team there are good…it helped a bit
But I still have a bit of denial which I cant let go of otherwise I wouldn’t be able to carry on this game of snakes and ladders…mentally tough isn’t it :heart:as someone said …the stress should make us spontaneously erupt…but we dont so we must be stronger than we think
…i had my second erubulin yesterday and feel ok at moment…got home at ten past eight tea bed…wash my hair today as it looks from coldcap a mess…lets hope the cap works for us.I wish I was like some of the ladies who say they don’t care about hair.xxxx

Hi ladies…

Thanks for all your feedback so far, it’s been so helpful already.

I like the idea of seeing this as a game of snakes and ladders… I did try a counselling session early on, but they threw so many images my way that I switched off a bit (and went with my own, which was a head in the sand d approach!)

It’s just really good to hear how others cope, and then on bad days you can try something new…

I met a wonderful lady during one of my chemo sessions who was really inspirational… she was sitting in the chair writing a “**bleep**it list” instead of a bucket list…

I think I might try the same!!!

Cyber hugs to one and all x

Leo, have been away so have only just seen your post but wanted to say Hi. and to reiterate what everyone else has said. Everyone copes in different ways but at least you have been given ideas. Just remember that, however hard you try, there will be times when you feel down and lonely bt please remeber, we are all here for you…we know exactly how it is and will always listen, even if we cant be of any practical help. Sending much love. xx

Hi everyone

I totally agree I have dark days where I look at family pictures and can’t stop crying this don’t last long as I then become even more determined to spend every minute with them, a lot of ladies say let it out when you need to
I am attempting to knit at minute and think if you could all see my knitting it would certainly make you cry with laughter

Lots love X hugs to everyone

Karen xxxxx

Hi Truffleshuff


how is it going now? Hope things are a bit easier for you.


leo, was wondering how you are getting on too, do let us know…we are all here for you xx



Aw ,thank you so much, Well all was going well then… scan results las week Doc not sure if hes seen tiny mets on liver now???, was so disapointed , but he did say alkaline phos reduced , so off for MRI scan next week.  Breast nurse very helpful , says  if mets  its still very tiny and classed as stable , and lots of treatments to try !!! ahhhhhhhh . 


 Just have to jog on with it , and Lots of patients in a far darker place , so need to man up a bit I think. 


Keep well lovely people  xxxxx wishing peace of mind for everyone xxx

Truff shuff, sorry to hear your news but your attitude is amazing…good luck with MRI…keep us posted. x

 Oh well , Results show Liver mets , well had to be , could not be cotton wool. Onc says to close to call if new or was on original MRI,… so one more Faslodex then another MRI , then maybe chemo ??? cant call it yet.  Felt quite positive yesterday , at least it is tiny, not causing any trouble and , it can be treated ??? . Then  had a wee melt down today , my mind is struggling with images of terminal illness !!! but coming back out of black hole now , maybe the call of Saturday prosecco .


 Have a great weekend ladies  , sending you strength and hugs  xx

Hi truff shuff…we’ve all been on that roller coaster…so emotionally draining. Kepp going with your brilliant attitude…and the odd prosecco!!!, cant fault you. x