Hi all just felt like a moan. I have had lymphoedema for 4 years and can’t believe the insensitivity of people mostly those who stare but then you have to cope with the continuous questions from people you don’t know and who don’t know you such as shop assistants. In this weather going out in a tshirt I got asked 3 times yesterday. Even people just walking their dog feel the need to come up and ask you. I used to just brush it off and say it was from an operation and it used to put me In a bad mood all day now I simply say “it is from cancer treatment” and you see the look of shock on their face (well you shouldn’t have asked then should you). I had a young girl at Sainsbury’s ask me as I was paying for groceries as I said it was from cancer treatment she replied " Oh I didn’t know you could get cancer in your arm" aghh! I just walked away. These people don’t know that it then upsets the rest of your day. I am getting stronger in dealing with it now but occasionally it does ruin your day. When in work I try to keep my cardigan on most of the time even in the heat just to stop the questions I still get the stares though. I find the stares harder to deal with twice I have had a woman continually stare at me because I had a tshirt on,one who was with her young daughter and they both just stood there looking at my arm whilst we were in the toilet queue. I looked back and stared until they looked away so annoying and so rude. Recently on holiday abroad myself and my husband were having dinner sitting in the sun and the woman facing our table stared constantly I began looking back I was getting so annoyed as she would not look away it wasn’t until I mentioned it to my husband and he looked round at her that she looked away. It makes you feel like you have two heads I don’t understand why people are like this. If I notice anything different about somebody I look away and don’t understand why people feel the need to stare or ask me what have I done to my arm when they don’t know me! I have to accept that this is how it will be now forever as you will never get everyone to understand they have no clue what I have been through for my arm to look as it does. Thanks for reading I am just off out now again in a tshirt see what comments I get today!! Love to all who have lymphoedema who go through the same as me x
Bless you! I know exactly what you men.i started a new job in January and always keep my arm covered but when it was really hot the other week I just had to take my cardigan off. Literally everyone asked me what I’d done to my arm. When one person persistently asked me (I tried to shrug it off and just say it’s a boring story) I told him the truth and he looked like a kicked puppy and I felt bad.
I think it’s just easier when it’s covered to forget about it, I know I shouldn’t care but I still hate it even after four years lol. Hope you’re OK and it doesn’t upset you too much today. Love to you back xxx
Yes it’s nice to talk to other people who understand. Most people say things like 'who cares, wear what you won’t and for me that’s fine for them to say, but the whole thing triggers such a strange mix of feelings for me I find that however I try to express it, it doesn’t sound right - I can never get the depth of my feeling across. And let’s face it to be honest most people wouldn’t want to hear it anyway. Hopw work is ok for you anyway. Keep smiling.meand my fat arm are going to try and get some sleep lol xxx
Oh you are lucky, mine was really good then I fell down the stairs about two years ago and injured it and now it’s noticeably fatter. I can still wear stretchy clothes but no shirts or jackets any more for me, my arm won’t fit.
Ah well. There are worse things, I know this! I’m sure you’ll look gorgeous at the weddings. Xx
Yeah we are luckier than some aren’t we? Definitely happy to keep smiling xxx
You sound like you explain it well, I wish I was more like that. I went for a lymphoedema apt today and ended up crying to my nurse because I still find it hard when people ask me, it’s so weird, I have no control on whether I will fill up nowadays… Makes me feel like I’m mad to be honest. Sorry about the phlebitis, that’s tough. I have strained my other arm with over lifting so now have tennis elbow lol, have to think before I pick anything up and see which angle will work and what the weight is for each arm lol, x
Yeah I guess it’s like anything eh depends on the day? I agree it’s hard for people to understand how we feel, and to be honest I can’t even articulate it, even now, when I think I’ve come to terms with it, I feel frustration, grief and anger over the arm - maybe it’s where all my cancer sadness is focused lol x