what is a respectful amount of time

i lost my friend who i met through BC to the disease in feb., I have been told by her best friend that she is now having a relationship with my late friends husband…aptly the best friend has battled with her consence but the husband aptly doesn’t care what people say or think.
this has been going on for about a month aptly…whilst i don’t begrudge the husband happiness i find it quite upseting that he feels able to move on so soon…i appreciate he may me looking for someone to fill the gap left from his wife dying and may in the long run regret what is currently happening…
would be interested to hear other opinions/views

karen

I can imagine that you must feel very distressed about this new relationship. I am sure your friend’s husband is still grieving and so are you. Try not to judge this new relationship…you are not inside what is happening.

I have stage 4 disease and after I die I want more than anything that my partner finds solace and comfort in whatever way helps her. If that means a temporary or more permanent relationship with one of my friends then so be it. We love each other very much but when I am dead she will still have a life to live.

Go gently.

Jane

Hi Karen & Jane,

I am so sorry about your situation Jane and you are very right about what you have said, I have told my partner and future husband to be that if the worst comes to the worst and anything does happen to me, that he is only 39 and that he is to live his life and move on in which ever way he can, he say’s he would not ever have anyone else but I want him to be able to feel guilt free…life is far too short and we dont have a right to dictate people lives and tell them how to live whether right or wrong…

I would step back from it and remember your friend as you want to remember her and not for what her husband is now doing, that is something they will have to come to terms with.

Love
Lucy xxxx