Hi , this is my first time posting , I was diagnosed with stage 2 lobular breast cancer on 17/10/19 , I had surgery in December and finished radiotherapy 3 weeks ago , I’m really struggling at the moment as I don’t know how I should be feeling , I feel as if I’m in limbo , and I feel as if some friends and family think that’s it I should be back to normal . Is it normal to be feeling so down when I should be happy my treatment has finished ?
Hi Kezzybear
Absolutely normal. You have had the trauma of a breast cancer diagnosis, followed by a pretty brutal assault on the body and the emotions. You may have well have suppressed a lot of your feelings to protect others or just to get through. That’s a huge burden. It’s often likened to a rollercoaster. And now it’s all over but you’ve a pandemic to contend with. Tell me who could handle all that without beginning to feel some cracks.
You say about things getting ‘back to normal’ but that isn’t going to happen - there will be major and minor adjustments to make your new normal and you’ll need to re-educate all those well-meaning friends and family. They want to believe things are back to normal for your sake as well as their own. This is an excellent article one of the nurses posted a while back. I still read it now and then, whereas I used to read it daily to keep me grounded: workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
I hope you find it as helpful as I did. All the best - small steps, one at a time.
Hi Kezzybear68,
i haven’t got much to add to the excellent replies you’ve had from Jaybro & Evie but just to reassure you you’re not alone.
I can look back to a post a year ago, being the same as you approx 3-4 weeks post treatment feeling absolutely dreadful asking why aren’t I back to normal yet? I’ve had my op, I don’t need anymore treatment, I’m so lucky but I can’t stop crying?? Family and friends felt the same but i hadn’t told them how I felt so it’s not surprising they didn’t realise.
Of course I’m lucky my treatment was quick and I’m ok but having cancer, a mastectomy and a failed reconstruction isn’t. I wish I could say everything is good now but it’s taking a long time to process what has happened and on good days I understand that but on others it feels very difficult.
Give yourself time and patience and you’ll get there, sending love and kindness to you xx
jaybro & Evie, you always give such great advice and I just wanted to thank you both for that xx
Hi , finished my radiotherapy 10 weeks ago and the side effects have been worse than my chemo.
sharp pains in my breast , tightness under arm pit when doing my exercises .Sleeping is a pain too as when I go to lie on side of radiotherapy treatment is painful.Fatigue is still bad too I can fall asleep of an afternoon , then around 8 i start falling asleep again so normally go up to bed just after 9 .
Hi,
yes i know exactly what you are feeling. I finished my Radiotherapy in February 2019 and returned to work the 1st April.
Friends and family are just relieved the treatment is over and expect you to bounce back to how you were before because they don’t understand how you feel unless they have been through what we have themselves.
I felt a bit lost as once my treatment finished and all the boxes were ticked off, it is hard to keep motivated and busy but as they say time is a healer. Fresh air and exercise always lifts my spirits.
Did you take up the offer of the wellbeing treatments ? The ladies were so lovely and it was something i would not normally treat myself to but am glad i did.
You will feel better it just takes time.
xxx
Kezzybear, Anxiety is normal and post-treatment is when we pick up the pieces whilst our loved ones breath a sigh of relief. They’re glad we’re alive and we wonder how the heck to pick up where we left off before treatment.
I managed to dedicate an entire book to helping with thoughts:
Thoughtful Bugs: From mayhem to mindfulness amazon.co.uk/dp/1838286012/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabt1_2oaTFbT8HF9AG
Me too my life is full of what ifs the best thing is finding places like this it’s great to chat with others feeling the same it does help