What not to say to a cancer patient. ..join in

Let me know if there is anything i can do? ( no find something you can do and just do it,we wont ask for anything) 

Which breast is it? Let me guess…

When waiting to see the oncologist for the first time my daughter piped up with “never mind mum, just think of this as the beginning of the end!” . . . . . Laughed so hard I almost fell off my seat!

Send a card…which says, "don’t worry, just do what the doctors say. Why not make the most of the time to do things you really enjoy doing, like painting, reading a book… "
Am I having my toncils out?
Pretty much the only communication throughout my journey from someone in my family…who doesn’t live that far away! Feel tempted to text saying hey, how are you, still alive, or shouldn’t you be asking me that! Pah and piffle paffle!

Well my boss did tell me I had to be patient at work because HE had never been through the cancer experience before. Poor soul!! . . . . Not!!

One of my bosses said “hope you are well”…um, apart from the radio burns to my nip, being v lopsided, contemplating x, y, z…yes, absolutely fine! If you asked him how he’d rate his communication skills I’m sure it’d be 15/10!

Oh and my lovely sister had a glass of wine or two and then told me I was lucky that I had been diagnosed with cancer because I was getting treated for it. She, on the other hand could have it anywhere in her body, and she wasn’t getting any treatment at all. Life is soooo unjust!!!

Hahaha - talk about meaning weĺl and it all just coming out wrong! Bless!

Me - “I’m someone who likes to know everything up front, which other leaflets would be helpful, radio?” (leaflet handed to me by b care nurse… “lympademia?” (Leaflet handed to me by b care nurse)
“exercises post op?” (Ditto)
B care nurse - reassuring tone…“oh no - you may not need chemo”
Say goodbye, start walking down corridor
B care nurse - “oh I forgot to tell you something REALLY important, can you come back a moment”
Me - return, sat down back in room -
breast care nurse says “if u do need chemo you may become infertile so might want to think about having your eggs frozen”
Think to myself…worth me being given that leaflet then???
She was retiring…

We all deserve medals for getting through this stuff and emerging with some humour intact! What a year!

GP to whom I’d gone with small breast lump initially - she was checking around more widely for other lumps- looking very concerned - “oooh dear … Oh no … Oh …it’s a rib”

“Its a rib!” annie - i think your takes the biscuit so far!

I had same experience with my GP (that’s right - the rib expert) - she was also horrified that I have opted for mastectomy and went on about " but your clothes won’t hang correctly" - I was flabbergasted!!!

Yip Katherine. Poor girl got herself in a right state till she realised that I was proper laughing out loud, and then she joined me. Don’t think she’ll ever live that one down :slight_smile: x x x

Oh gosh…this thread did make me chuckle !!! And to add to the mix…

“You’ll be fine”…
“Let me know if you need anything”…
And I am going into head office next week to see colleagues before my surgery, he phoned me last week…
“Ermmmm just to let you know and warn you that people are feeling very emotional about this so they might be a bit Ermmm well… Emotional”… Oh REALLY ?? Well I will come armed with tissues and lots of hugs for them ???
“It can’t be a big operation if they send you home so early can it”? (Referring to bilateral mx)
And the most recent one…
“Did you read that in the Mail, that actress from casualty dies, she was o ly 41… She had the same as you”

Luckily I do have quite dark humour so I share this with a twinkle in my eye, people do make me laugh!!

But seriously, there is only us guys on here who really know what NOT to say

“Boobs only get in the way” lol twice I’ve heard that little gem when telling friends about my forthcoming mastectomy x well I would rather mine sat on my knees (they have gone south) than not there thank you! X

I’ve had 2 good friends launch into their experience of supporting friends who had died with breast cancer. One if who said you probably don’t want to hear this but told me anyway.

I’m not the patient, my mum is. However people keep saying things such ‘my aunt had cancer 5 years ago and she’s still here’. Frustrating as each case is so different with lymph node involvement, hormone receptors, tumour size, etc so is not comparable without the facts and even then not 100% comparable.

Ladies, this is the best thread ever! Well done, I’ve not laughed so much in ages.
Love the homeopathy and weather comments.
What about " we all have lopsided boobs anyway".
Can anyone beat the rose quartz crystal angel my auntie sent me to keep close during treatment?? How ca. That cure me and if crystals are so great why does uncle still have a bad back!
Keep smiling - lucky they caught it early etc xx

Just thought of some from my husband:

Shall I leave the ironing board out for you?
Are you making bread today?
What colour washing are you putting on?

Where did I go wrong? LOL