I was diagnosed a month ago and I’ve got surgery next week. I went cold turkey from HRT and I’ve had to stop taking all the interesting supplements so my mood is basically in the toilet.
My sleep is erratic but I’ve probably crept up to 7 hours on average which is so much better than the 4 or 5 a night in the beginning.
I’ve read up on what’s happening to me and I’m fairly realistic about the “journey”.
I’m really flat at the moment though as I’ve cancelled all the fun stuff to try to avoid the hideous flu bugs that everyone seems to have.
This morning I did 3 things that had me dancing round my kitchen.
1 I write in my journal about my feelings
2 I listened to some banging tunes really loud
3 I did home gym exercises including strength training
I felts buzzing with endorphins for a couple of hours and it was great. Then I got sad about the wall I’m about to hit. I’ve never felt physically better than I do right now and I’m bummed out that’s about to change.
Anyway, what do you do? What do you read or listen to ? Audio books or podcasts? What hobbies do you have?
Just please share with me what works for you as I’m a bit sick of reading about cancer now. I want to find stuff that makes me feel good and supports a positive frame of mind…
Hi!
So sorry to hear of your diagnosis and thank you for your lovely post about how you are feeling.
I’m at a different stage (literally just finished my treatment) but I totally understand that flat/down/in a funk feeling.
I try and do something joyful each day- this might be a walk somewhere pretty (near water always helps my mood!), start a new book, listen to a podcast, meet a friend for coffee, spend time with my kids, look at holiday destinations, plan day trips, binge watch some trashy tv stuff…
I have found it all very hard, but I try and hold on to the thought that it’ll be alright in the end. And if it’s not alright, it’s not the end.
Take care x
Hey @peppermint_patti congrats on getting to the end of your treatment. That must feel good. It’s a funny old state of mind I’m in.
Sometimes I can conquer the world and other times I feel like I might die under the knife next week. I’ve never had an op before.
I like your suggestions, thanks for sharing. I like the idea of a new good book but I just can’t focus for more than minutes it seems. My head just wanders off and often ends up on fire. I’m getting good at giving my head a wobble.
I’m a trashy tv girl and I’m loving a bit of traitors escapism
Are there any podcasts you’d recommend? I love mel Robbins and Dr Chatterjee but I can’t listen to them as I feel like I’m in a whole other land from people getting their lives sorted.
Hi @warmfuzzies Sorry to hear about your diagnosis but you are in the right place for support.
I do a mindfulness session daily on Headspace App and walk the dog. Walking in nature and being grateful for the things you see and hear. I notice you have a furry friend of your own and know that having one can help you through the tough times in your life. Having a snuggle and a fuss can take the worries away.
I enjoy watching rubbish feel good things on TV, too many things have cancer diagnosis and I wish there would be a warning about it like violence etc. I don’t always want to be reminded. I’m 21 months on from my diagnosis, having bilateral lumpectomy, chemo/Herceptin now Letrozole and Zoledronic acid. I try to do something that make me feel good every day, I also have stopped worrying about what others think and do.
I did cold turkey coming off HRT and it’s not fun so can sympathise. I thought that it had changed and ladies were supposed to be slowly weaned off them, I read a post from last October and that’s what a lady was to,d so no cold turkey and the symptoms were not so bad.
Hi there, Im 6 weeks post diagnosis, one lot of surgery and another to come. Like you I’m conscious of avoiding bugs and not liking at all the idea of feeling unwell when I currently feel fine. Like you Ive tried a bit of dancing round the kitchen and writing a journal. I go for a coffee at the garden centre early as its quiet and an airy space. If the suns out the dogs and I get in the car and can reach a lovely view and clean air in about 3/4 hr. I find that really lasts to restore my well being. I’m looking at some slightly off the wall things I might do when I get well bits . I fancy driving a tank ! Ive been doing bits of baking so I’ve got nice things by the portion in the freezer. Very best wishes finding things that help and for treatment.
I would say- try not to expect too much of yourself. It’s understandable that you feel all over the place.
I LOVE traitors! Check out the Traitors Uncloaked podcast on BBC sounds- I often walk and listen to funny stuff so must look like a right loon chuckling to myself haha.
I also like Off Menu podcast, Parenting Hell and The Rest is Entertainment.
Good luck with your surgery- hope all goes well x
I started running and going to the gym a few months before diagnosis and was feeling physically the best I ever had before cancer came along. Didn’t do a half marathon I had signed up for as I got into the funk, was too upset and wasn’t eating or sleeping properly so generally felt meh. That was devastating as, for other reasons, it was super important to me and I was so angry cancer had ruined it for me.
Like you I got sick of cancer being the only thing on my mind and so ended up having a really stern word with myself and made myself get back to it even though I didn’t feel like it. Exercise helped to forget about things, even if just for a while. Post lumpectomy I got back to the gym as soon as possible and was determined to run that half cancer had stolen from me which I did six months later. As well as the endorphins there is the added bonus of exercise helping any side effects of hormone treatment and reducing risk of recurrence. I consider it as much a part of my ongoing treatment as the tablet.
The wall you describe being about to hit is temporary. You’ll get your mojo back. x
Hey @naughty_boob 21 months in? You’re an expert! Thanks for sharing with us newbies. I hope I can return the favour to others in the future as this world of new terminology is making my ears bleed.
I was pretty good at worrying before this came along but this is a whole new level.
I think in the middle of my panic attack the breast cancer nurse suggested I wean myself off HRT but I was instantly terrified of it. At that stage its just “we are concerned about the 3 lesions we’ve just biopsied out of the blue, you need to be prepared” but wait 12 days and we’ll tell you how bad it is but until then just hang in there.
I can see why there’s no other option and how we all go through it but it kicks you down a traumatic tunnel with no safety grips to grab hold of. By the time you land with a diagnosis you’re just grateful to not be dying today. That’s how it felt initially but I’m getting the hang of the fact that you have to move from one appointment to another and just try not to lose your marbles in between.
I wish I lived closer to the sea, I love the sea.
And I wish I didn’t have to work but we run our own business so we have to keep it going.
Banging rock/metal music turned up to 11 always does it for me, especially when driving, cooking or in the shower Even taking BC out of the equation, the last few years have been awful (top of the list on the stressful life events) and I’ve realised I went off my music when I’ve been in the thick of it. I’ve learned to see where I am by what the state of play of my music is.
I’ve also realised my concentration and memory is pants at times of stress. Probably why I don’t want noise.
For me it’s not so much how do I get out of the funk but realising I’m there and then riding the wave til I’m back in the room (as it were). I get on with life - gym, housework, see friends etc but it tends to be without a soundtrack.
That makes me sound as if I have been in the deepest pits of depression. I haven’t been, its just that I’ve recently recognised what happens when life throws a curveball at me. I suspect that I subconsciously top up my music batteries when I’m in my music mode.
Hi @warmfuzzies our lives are almost running in tandem. I was diagnosed on 21st December and told there and then (at the mammogram and ultrasound) that they were 99% sure it was cancer and I needed biopsies to confirm.
Like you my husband and I have a business and he and our team are trying to make my life easy and shelter me by trying to do my job . He was scolded as I need something other than cancer in my head and work is a welcome distraction!
I am no expert on what keeps your mood up, but I started to crochet immediately after diagnosis as I wanted to keep my brain and hands occupied. I am making crochet squares (for a blanket) they only take about 45 minutes each but made in 3 parts so can stop after 15 minutes if my head isn’t in it. I can pick up and put down when I feel like it. I read a lot but brain isn’t into it just now so I am listening to stories on an app called PocketFm. Each chapter is about 10 minutes and there are hundreds to listen to. They are really naff but it’s take your brain out stuff
Today we are heading out for a walk with dogs and a spot of lunch in a remote part of scotland as I am terrified I catch something and they delay my chemo which starts on 31st January.
Keep well as we have cancer to evict from our bodies
Just scrolling as I’m feeling pretty scared and low. Your post resonated with me. I’m a rock/metal chick! Apart from cancer I’ve had a shit few years too and haven’t been indulging in music. Something came on radio in car the other day and it made me realise I need to get back to my music!! xo
Hi @fimac1 sorry that you’re here too but I’m not sorry that I’m finding such comfort in these shared experiences. That bit where I feel people around me really don’t understand the madness in my head is completely blown away by words shared on here and I immediately feel less alone.
Work is a distraction but sometimes a frustration too. A bit like my mood it goes up and down. With surgery looming I know I’ll be taking at least a few days off. I’m not sure what else I’d do apart from watch tv.
We’re planning some walks but until I’m on the other side I’m not sure what to expect.
I’d bought some wool for crocheting just before I was diagnosed. I completely forgot about that but maybe I’ll give it a go.
I was helped more by Yoga and when I was able to do it sea swimming and gentle walks. Music played it’s part though and after lockdown and self isolation before during and after treatment the thing I most wanted to get back to was live music. I made it a goal and made it to a small festival about 5 months after radiotherapy and danced like I was 18 again and not an overweight 57 year old on an AI. It took my knees a month to forgive me but it was worth it. Whatever your mood there is music out there that will help that - even if you end up listening to something a bit different for a while. Hang in there xx
@carrie5 how did you find your first surgery? It’s good that you’ve had it done so quickly. The walking is sounding so important to everyone, getting out in the fresh air can’t be wrong.
Like the idea of preparing treats for the freezer.
Best one is driving a tank! That sounds amazing. I wonder if this process will make me have new desires for doing things I’ve not done. I hate to say bucket list but maybe a refocus list.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes with your ongoing treatment. Kath x
@peppermint_patti oh my goodness what a wonderful gift you’ve just given me! I must have been living under a rock but I’ve not heard of BBC sounds before.
I’ve just downloaded it and nog only subscribed to the traitors unclaimed podcast (I wonder if it’s worth going back to the beginning) but there is also The News Quiz and I’m sorry I haven’t a clue. I’ve been buying these as sets on audible for years!
I like listening to comedy when I’m falling asleep as I can’t follow a real book and I love the bbc comedy stuff.
Hi warmfuzzies
Actually first surgery went well, quick recovery and got good arm movement. Seroma makes it look like Ive now got a third boob but its steadily reducing!
I’ve got as far as googling the tank thing and its on the list still. Like ’ refocus’ idea.
Ive walked an alpaca, that was a bit muddy!
@southwest123 bloody good for you doing the half marathon you had wanted to do. I bet that was emotional at the end. It’s hard work too. I’ve only done 5ks and I find myself dragging at the end. In not a runner at all tho.
I like the “having a stern word with myself” approach. Sometimes you have to kick your own ass. I really hope I can get back into it afterwards.
My sport is Padel tennis which I only discovered a year ago. I’m surprised how much I absolutely love it and how I can improve over time too. Now it’s got to stop for a while which makes me cross and sad BUT I’m determined to get back to it.
It’s good to hear stories of people getting back what they’ve lost. Thank you for sharing, Kath x
@Gelbel it absolutely does make sense. I’m surprised how anti I am about some things I know I live… listening to music, reading, gardening, crocheting just stuff I know I enjoy yet have no desire to do.
I hadn’t thought about it being a stress response but I think you’re exactly right. Perhaps I just need to be kinder to myself and instead of giving myself a hard time about why I’m not interested in doing the nice things I just accept that this is a new state of stress and I need to find my balance in the moment.
Even taking BC out of the equation, the last few years have been awful (top of the list on the stressful life events) and I’ve realised I went off my music when I’ve been in the thick of it. I’ve learned to see where I am by what the state of play of my music is.
. He was scolded as I need something other than cancer in my head and work is a welcome distraction!
xo
